The baby surprise

Dear Bella: I am in a very deep situation. A girl I had sexual relations with two years ago met me recently with a baby girl, about two years old, telling me the child is mine.

She said she kept it a secret because she didn’t want to break up my marriage. She said the child is mine and she would never ever give me a “jacket”. Bella, this took me by surprise. I do not know what to say or do. The child does not really look like me. She looks like her mom. But I do not understand why she would keep that a secret.

I knew it was odd when she just left without notice and all those times she told me she was involved and working on a cruise ship. Now, she is telling me all that was lie. She left to have the baby and stayed with her parents. I am now separated but I still do not want my wife to know about this as it would make matters worst.

Help please!

Dear Sir: Her story is indeed shocking but it is not rare. Some women do that but the solution is simple: do a DNA test to prove whether or not the child is yours.

If the child is yours then you have to do what is right: support the child. She probably is checking you now because she is unable to take care of the child anymore. I suggest you take a DNA test as soon as possible.


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    June 7, 2010

    you make it sound like this was A MIRACLE,a stanger just meeting you giving you that newssssssssss!!!!!!!! you screw the girl,,,,, expect any thing you lucky is a child, it could have been AIDS YOU WERE CARRYING FOR TWO YEARS…BOYYYYYYYYY YOU GUYZZZZZZ ARE NOTHING EZZZZZZZZ.

  2. loyalty
    June 7, 2010


  3. DA
    June 7, 2010

    How much does a DNA test cost home? it may be expensive…so the best you can maybe do no0w is support the child…not exorbitantly…but support the child. Make it a legal matter…then when you have cooked up enough money to do the DNA test.Go ahead..if the woman was telling a lie..You take her to court for 50% of the money back…50% because you were involved with her…..or take a damn loan to get the test done!!

    • um
      October 4, 2012

      ummm that doesnt make no sense to me because if is not his child he gonna be takin care of a child thats not his all that time

  4. InCoGnItO
    June 6, 2010

    You and your wife are separated ,you have no obligation to her in the question on wether or not you should tell her ,unless you are trying to get back together. If its yours try getting over how long the mother took before she told you, for what ever reasons she kept it from you, if its ur child Man up and be the best father you can be to the child .

  5. yes i
    June 5, 2010

    DNA test easy 1000EC simple…..

  6. ladys choice
    June 4, 2010

    thats just to tell u it could have been aids and not a baby ur cheating cove up too much men and woman cheating and forget they have a wife or husband at home to all them man out there from a woman to u if ur married its ur duties to make love to yr wife becouse once she start goin out wier girlfriend its not only girlfriend she…. with othere men and ladys same with ur men

  7. stupz
    June 4, 2010

    just take a damn DNA test simple

  8. Homeboy
    June 4, 2010

    You don’t want your wife to know. Dude, you are separated and she is not coming back. You were man enough to cheat so man up and take care of the child if it is yours (DNA of course).

  9. Miguel Labadie Granny on DNO
    June 4, 2010

    Everyone wants to blame the man. Did’ent she know he was a married man. The man made his play and its left to her to refuse or accept. She accept and she also accept responsibilities. I am sure she did not go into it blindly or he did not hold a gun to her head. All he did is show her where his pen is and she use it to write.

    • June 4, 2010

      No one’s blaming the guy here… All we’re saying is get a DNA test to get things straight and deal with his problem. I blame both parties, they both were old enough to make better decisions, but what’s done is done and now it’s time to tend to things… Maturely… End of story.

    • um
      October 4, 2012

      who say he was married at that time

  10. llp
    June 4, 2010

    honestly, i may be wrong but i think the woman did the honourable thing. she actually pulled away from you when she realised that she was pregnant with a married man’s child. maybe she was concerned about your relationship with your wife and didnt wanna mess things up for you. most women would haved used this to get you to leave your wife and be with them. now, she is more mature now she realises that her child needs to know her real dad so she is approaching you now after two years. get a DNA and if its ur child, embrace ur daughter and try and have a relationship with her. if your wife loves you, who knows, she might understand and help you through it

  11. June 4, 2010

    Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and get a DNA test. How else will you find out? Another thing, I would not assume that she is unable to take care of the child on her own, but there could be many scenarios and one could be that she wants her child to have her a father figure. She also could have waited because she wasn’t sure who the father is either. Get yourself a DNA test, and like Bella said if the chid is yours take care of your child. If you love your wife and want to work on your marriage and you do find out this child is yours then the right thing to do is tell your wife. Are you going to hide this from her and have it come out later on? As a woman, I would definitely like to know sooner rather than later.

  12. Brown Sugar
    June 4, 2010

    yes men they r always supprised when the child comes, espically when they r cheating. dont go where trouble is and u wwont be shocked as a matter of fact u shouldnt because when u go there expect anything. thats why i dont trust no man because they can never remain true.

    at least the girl was considerate enough to let u have u marriage but on the othe hand best she had even tell u because it still broke up. question: did r marriage break up for that same un faithfull ness of yours ? i would like ur wife to know ……. that u have an outside child. anyways it will come out some day or the other.

    good luck

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