Out of all the other “special days”, I hate Valentine’s Day the most!
I am not whining because I don’t have anyone to share my Valentine’s Day with (no surprise), I am pissed because it is a fake day when hypocrites pretend to be in love.
As Valentine’s Day draws nearer, everyone wants to be in love, share love, show love, be romantic, say “I love you”, and the whole bag of crap. Why? That’s because everyone is doing it, so there is this pressure to find “your Valentine”. Who wants to be lonely on Valentine’s Day?
To me it’s a day when people spend unnecessarily.
I remember a friend of mine who always beats his woman. Valentine’s Day is the only day she gets a day off from getting licks. At 12:01 am on February 15, the blows take effect once more. And that’s one of the reasons I hate the day. It’s just darn fake!
For those of us who are single, lonely, disengaged, and heartbroken, cheer up. It’s just 24 hours. Don’t worry about these fools sending flowers, champagne and sweet messages. By the following day or week they will be broke as hell, or they will be back to their old cheating ways, lying ways, and abusive ways.
It’s just a day when men get hard and women get wet. Nothing more than that.
For us men it is the only day we believe we can lie about loving the woman. It’s the only day we can fake the words “I love you” without feeling guilty.
When I was in a relationship, I only remember it’s Valentine’s Day when I see the ads in the media. Then I would groan. Why? Because I had no plans to spend any money to buy or do anything special for my then woman. I mean come on, it’s just one day.
Roses are expensive. I do not have time to cook. I do not have time to find petals and litter the bathtub. I do not want to use up our candles. What if electricity goes off on Valentine’s Day, then we would have used up all the candles.
I do not want to say “I love you” because normally I would say it from the depths of my gum, not my heart. Yes, of course I love her, but not the Hollywood Valentine’s Day “I love you” BS.
I think the meaning of Valentine’s Day should be changed to an official day of marriage and relationship counselling, not a phony day that is expected to break your pocket.
I know a lot of fellas are hustling, stealing or borrowing to buy their girl something nice or to do something nice for her. On the other hand the woman is waiting for the romance to unveil. And to add insult to injury, women are cheap and mean. They hardly buy anything for their men on Valentine’s Day or do anything romantic other than buying THEMSELVES some fancy cheap panties and wearing them on stale bodies. “Come on I’ve seen that in porn every night while you’re asleep”.
We men have to be busting our nut to buy her something we hope she will love. And I am not talking about roses. The last time I bought a female some roses the goat ate it. (Of course my goat does not believe in Valentine’s Day either; in fact we discussed it the day before).
She needs diamonds and pearls, candle light dinner, a night at the resort, lovemaking on the beach, an engagement surprise; then on Feb. 15, 2010 we will all be praying for pay day to close in so we can recoup our losses or pay back who we borrowed from to do our Valentine specials.
Or we will slap ourselves for doing and saying things we did not mean or are unable to maintain (probably for the week).
Anyway, this is my most boring column because I am writing about something that I do not enjoy writing about.
Well I wish ya’ll a happy Valentine’s Day. I will be wearing full black on the day, sleeping all day, and watching some Valentine’s Day horror movies.
Nice Guy is written by an A-Hole so don’t take him on. He has woman issues and would like some help (writing is his therapy). He is also seeking a Nice Girl to compliment his column. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.