THE KSCHRONICLES: Say yes to opportunity

I’m a strong believer in saying yes to opportunity and nothing explains what I mean better than the movie Yes man (2008).

The main character Carl (played by Jim Carey), becomes depressed over his divorce and automatically says “no” to any question, request or offer that comes his way. A colleague informs him of a “yes” seminar in which participants are urged to make an agreement to agree or say “YES” to whatever is proposed to them.

Carl becomes a “yes man” for a time with interesting results.

What I particularly enjoy is the fact that the film brings to light the issue of most of us complying with many (often critical) situations in life by an automatic no or automatic yes. What irks me the most about this is that both reactions are most times in relation to something external, instead of us understanding what we truly want or don’t want.

What I mean is that we are either going against or going along with something or someone and are therefore controlled by forces outside ourselves which interferes with our authenticity.

I do admit that I was one of those people who tended to automatically go along with things (I hate confrontation with a passion) and speaking to some of my girlfriends now I hear the same self-reflection. I personally believe that this stems largely from the fact that females are conditioned to not “rock the boat,” to be nice and to put the needs and wants of others before our own. For some of us, (including me) it can be difficult to tolerate potential conflict. We don’t like to risk upsetting or disappointing others, or hurting their feelings. We want them to feel at one with us, even at the cost of not feeling “at one” with ourselves, preferring to suffer the conflict inside rather than outside.

Now this does not mean that I’m encouraging anyone (females in particular) to say “no” to everything but what I’m simply saying is to let your ‘yes’ and ‘no’ come from within and be consciously aware of those “automatic responses”.

I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve listened to family members or friends tell me stories of opportunities that have come their way that they have turned down for no rhyme or reason. When I ask for the reason that they said ‘no’ the answer is always either ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I didn’t think I was good enough’, the no was automatic. What really troubles me is that these are then the same people who give an automatic ‘yes’ to situations or activities that they want to say ‘no’ to.

As I grow older I learned the importance of saying ‘YES’ to opportunity, which is something that I always encourage my family and friends to do as well. Sometimes we need to acknowledge that the ‘no’ may be the result of our anxiety when we find ourselves up against a personal growth threshold or outside of our comfort zones.

See a course on cake baking? Take it! Your community needs volunteers to clean up the beach? Do it! Yes these may not be activities that you are interested in but saying ‘YES’ to positive experiences in life more often than not can take you places that you have never been before, help you make memories that you would have not made and can help you meet people to help you move up in life no matter your career or profession.

Reference Source:
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/movies/2011/11/exploring-authentic-yes-and-no-in-yes-man/

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The KSChronicles are the observations and insights of blogger and journalist Kerdisha St.Louis. Each article seeks to invoke a reaction and/or introspection from readers in Dominica and the Diaspora on various thought provoking issues and topics. The column is published every Friday.