We were sitting there having fun
when out of nowhere, it covered the sun.
The clouds turned white, there was a really loud sound
and the rain came furiously tumbling down.
It had no conscience for the persons it soaked
nor for those who thought it was only a joke;
not even for those without umbrellas
who looked so frivolous in their ensembles.
The rain came down quite powerful
claiming the gutters, the streets and the corners that were once so cool.
Lots of debris got washed away
and I can gladly say, ‘It was really a nice bath in the month of May.’
Oh how we waited and waited for the rain to stop
but over an hour passed and we were out of luck:
Powdered and pretty and all dressed up,
‘Oh rain what have you done…you’ve soiled us from the top!’
All dressed up with nowhere to go,
‘Oh rain you have definitely spoiled the show!’
I’m really wondering if this is a sign
cause you came and conquered and really were unkind…
You stood your ground like a stubborn mule
and made us know that you truly ruled
I think it’s time for me to retire,
‘Yes rain, you are your heart’s own desire!’
DPC is the acronymn for Domnichen Poetic Circle, a “Literary Circle of Contemporary Poets, and Spoken Word Artists of Dominican birth and descent. The group endeavors to showcase the broad spectrum of Dominican talent in the area of the written and spoken word and also promotes itself as a platform for interactive conversations on posted content of the Artists, “in the form of constructive critique and reactions, helpful poetry web-links and events, as well as, creative responses.”
Just because you choose to write “vivid and exciting”, does not make it a hard and fast rule that an artist has to adhere to. Poetry is an expressive art form, subject to the internalization and expression of the writer. We had another so called poet like Lisan on DPC, and we were surprised at what the ego driven released as poetry…total garbage! Lisan, if you think your writing has the maturity and literary fortitude, come on DPC and show your stuff…
You sure can Teacher…and just so you know i am only
a blogger not a Poet
Good job! I am going to use it to teach personification. Do I have your permission poet?
Keep on writing Jada, with effort, patience and dedication; you can only grow.Wasn’t Einstein supposedly a failure at school.Lisan, excuse me,people’s names are proper nouns and do start with a capital letter.So much for your smarts.
Oh my, my android phone has done it again. Change my word from ignorant to ignore. Lisan since i have been away for so long, could u please enlighten me. What is the Carribean junior Reader are u talking about lol. Don’t assume everyone who reads DNO is in Dominica or in the Caribbean and.
Jadah Smith,I was recently in DA..And how hot it was for me!!..From sunrise till sunset,I sweated like a cow..Each nights was discomforts to sleep…But one early mornings the rains came and I felt a cool relief..I called it showers of blessings.lolol..
Mother nature do have her period days..We just need to learn and accept it and adjust to it….
A well written poem on the nature of life,(The Rain)..Thanks for sharing…
Meant to say lisan, not Susan. Word typo
Beautiful poem. I would like to comment to Lisan, that before u criticize someone’s writing ,make sure yours is better with no flaws. Hope u read your comment before u posted it. Your English writing is surely not the best with such criticism from u. By the way, i can identify with the writer. Well done and keep writing. Susan knows nothing about poetry so ignorant her comment.
i said ‘my’ instead of ‘me’ and that is what you call poor writing? Lol… what about you ‘ignorant’ for ‘ignore’….i do write. And when i post it you will see what i was saying. If this is good writing to you, you must clearly still be reading your Caribbean Junior Reader have a nice day miss.
Lisan,by the red DOWN thumps,I don’t have to elaborate much on how poorly your feedback was….I invite you to the DPC site..And I challenge you on a poetry writes…I want to see how good you profess to be!!!!
If its a kid writing this, its not so bad…..but if this is an adult this is awful….poetry, like literature should be so vivid in description that the reader cannot help but experience the events in their mind….it is therefore no wonder to my why derek walcott said our literary works do not impress him.
I agree that this is immature work but if you are going to critic don’t do so by completely destroying an upcoming poet’s zeal because we need those who desire to write in our society otherwise the literature culture will die. The can get better with time and older poets’ input.
Nel, what determines this work as being immature? Could you provide an example of your mature work?
At lease she tried. What have you done apart from criticize. If you have nothing good to say, hold your peace.