DEAR BELLA: I’m torn between two would-be lovers



I like two women I work with. Honestly, I do. And I don’t know which one to choose.

They are very attractive, great personalities, kind and were brought up proper.

[They are] the kind of women a man might want to spend a long time with. Even marry and all. We work in a small organization in Roseau and we get along well. All of us.

They are both single and I speak with them after hours a lot on WhatsApp.

Neither of them knows. I am the supervisor and we don’t talk so much at work.

I just ended a very bad relationship and was giving myself time to heal. But now 6 months later, I feel ready.

Both have expressed love interest in me. I have gone out with them already but nothing serious happened. To be exact we only exchanged a kiss once or twice.

I know if I choose one, the other will be jealous and it could cause issues at work.

So, I don’t know which way to go. But whichever way, I think I am in love with them both.





Hello Torn,

Sooner or later you are going to have to make a choice but to string both women along is not the best way to deal with such a situation. If you continue dating both women who work in the same building then naturally, you may cause contention if you decide to take one of them to be your woman.

No matter how you look at the issue, you would have to choose. Or you could look outside the circle for a potential partner. In that case there will be not “cat fights” at work.

You said they were both raised “proper”. however, when it comes to matters of the heart women forget all the etiquettes they were taught.

While it is early and while there are no serious relations, you may want to change the way you move forward.

Decide who you want and work from there. If you don’t, you may end up losing both women and be labelled as the womanizing boss.


Best Bella

Disclaimer: The comments on this page do not necessarily reflect the views of Inc. All comments are approved by before they are posted. We never censor based on political or ideological points of view, but we do try to maintain a sensible balance between free speech and responsible moderating.

We will delete comments that:

  • violate or infringe the rights of any person, are defamatory or harassing or include personal attacks
  • are abusive, profane or offensive
  • contain material which violates or encourages others to violate any applicable law
  • promote hatred of any kind
  • refer to people arrested or charged with a crime as though they had been found guilty
  • contain links to "chain letters", pornographic or obscene movies or graphic images
  • are excessively long and off-message

See our full comment/user policy/agreement.


  1. Badbaje
    April 24, 2020

    My advice to you is to talk to them both, and if they agree, take them both. You say you love them both so don’t cheat yourself, be true to yourself first and always!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 2
    • Bwa-Banday
      April 24, 2020

      Absolutely great advice. For years we were raised to believe that a man only needs one woman only to realize that its ok for him to have at least two. No woman in her right mind should expect to be the ONLY one drinking from a pipe especially if the man can hang and he treats you well. I am not saying men have to be salop but if you have a man and he has one other woman whats the big deal? Just stay in your lane and enjoy life.

      Nothing wrong in being the secret number two or even number one. Who cares? As long as you get your share of water when you feel thirsty then so what? Just make sure at least one of them knows that you are plumbing the other’ sink and no one else then voilah!! You dont need drama! All you need is love and plumbing work on regular basis. 8) 8) 8) 8)

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 19 Thumb down 0
      • Badbaje
        April 25, 2020

        I did not mean for the man to have one in the open and the other in pubic. He should be willing and aloud to have both of them in the open. It is the European culture which teaches one to have only one woman, then have secret lovers. This is not what I am talking about. “Our” African culture teaches us different. Have both openly, and treat both equally well and fair!

    • Squinjine
      April 24, 2020

      Never have work place romance man. “Cat fight” situation is exactly why you don’t. Do you really want to see that woman at work every day? 5 days a week?
      You break up then you will see her double time.
      No dating of co workers!

    April 24, 2020

    We just love Dominica, they are so inventive, WE had MR.COVID-19,WASH YOUR HANDS,keep your distance and wear your mask. Mr.TORN created COVID-20,TALK ,TALK AND TALK AGAIN. How do you keep your distance kissing. Oh boy you are ace.

  3. April 24, 2020

    You need to be honest. Let them both know that you are dating them. If they allow it then you date them until you can decide or until they make the decision for you. Hopefully, you will live to tell the tale. Good Luck Lover Boy.

  4. Didymus
    April 23, 2020

    you are a player,you want all,you not are their supervisor, they scared of losing their Job so they looking at you for security. that is a recipe for problems, and you are going to be single again and maybe you lose your Job or those woman lose their must be the hottest bachelor left.If the ladies were raised well they need to go back to their up bringing to handle this situation.make sure you are all on solid grounds on the Job, some bosses don’t like affairs on their Job.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 4
  5. Kalinago Justice
    April 23, 2020

    Eventually these women will reveal to each other their relationship with you and you might end up losing both. But knowing that slave plantation mentality island,it might not matter to them :?: They might end up hating each other and fighting over you to see who will keep you. It would be something if you happen to get them both pregnant and this is what brings everything to light :?:

  6. Bwa-Banday
    April 23, 2020

    My advise is put on ur pipe fitter clothes and tools and go to work like a well prepared Dowasco worker. Lay some serious pipe in both of the trenches to see which one fits better over time and where the water flows more readily with some kinkiness. No old fashioned stuff only. After about a 6 moths you make a selection of one or better yet both if they agree.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 16 Thumb down 4
  7. April 23, 2020

    don’t you love ur job sir..well business and pleasure don’t work..stop playing those games on ur guessing u very young as well..

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0
    April 23, 2020

    you have already said more than you, when a customer enter your shop no one attend to them, staff playing with their mobile phone. If you cannot choose between two women, you don’t love any. You are employed so just pass it. both women can read you perfectly

  9. Silver fox
    April 23, 2020

    My advice to you is keep both of them and see which one of them satisfied you most in bed then Bob is your uncle as the British would have said.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 5 Thumb down 14
  10. Da Girl
    April 23, 2020

    Good advice Bella. Torn, given the circumstances, I suggest you call it quits with both for the time and let things smooth over. If later you still have interest, you have to choose one. You may ruin a perfectly good working triangle and possibly friendship. Even choosing one now is asking for trouble, so just leave them both alone. ‘Lose’ interest – one may just decide to move on…or both lol

  11. AD
    April 23, 2020

    “You said they were both raised “proper” however when it comes to matters of the heart women forget all the etiquettes they were taught.”

    Um… excuse me? That is not an accurate statement. Some PEOPLE forget the manners learnt during their upbringing when it comes to matters of the heart. Some people. Some times. Not “people”, and certainly not “women”.

    Being very careful with our choice of words is essential, especially when giving advice. Blanket statements are a dangerous thing.

    • CC
      April 24, 2020

      Don’t be so sensitive smh. I’m sure she meant it in a general way. She doesn’t know ALL women around the world for her to be certain what they all do. As a female I understand completely what she meant

    • EIFILE
      April 27, 2020

      This sound like fun talking about goats in savanna. take a different angle. SOMEONE unknown ,said lie down and open your leg and put a pound of beef between it. cannot see daylight, sun or moon and wash it three times a day, does that come cheap, if you cannot afford one, how can you maintain two. Just a thought.

  12. Maybe
    April 23, 2020

    My advice to you never date someone you work with

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 41 Thumb down 1
    • lmckoy
      April 24, 2020

      Especially if you are their supervisor!

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
    • April 24, 2020

      Bella put it best. You said that you just came out of a bad relationship. Now you are in a situation that is going to end up bad. I think you are looking for big trouble for yourself. The problem is within you and you alone can fix it. You eyse is very bright and you don’t seems to settle with one woman so you will keep on going from relationship to relationship.

Post a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

:) :-D :wink: :( 8-O :lol: :-| :cry: 8) :-? :-P :-x :?: :oops: :twisted: :mrgreen: more »

 characters available