I read it on Facebook and I always find you give the wise answer. Now, it’s my turn to ask you something…
I’m not proud to tell this story, but I need a good advice. I’m sure you have a better picture than me…
Last year, I met a man from Dominica in Guadeloupe, and we had a romance. He lives in Norway and plans to go back to DA in a close future.
He was on vacation. I m a white woman, and he is the Rasta tourist. We spent time together.
It was very intense and fun. He has 5 kids from 4 different European women, but I didn’t mind, everyone has a space to fill. When he left, he was very sad, telling me to wait for him, that he loves me. We talked on WhatsApp and texted a lot at the beginning.
On social media, I saw he was flirting with young white pretty ladies and I finally get he was living with the mother of one of his kids. It is very hurtful to me, because I want to believe he has feelings for me, has he assured me.
He will come back to Caribbean in November. He expects me to welcome him and take care of him.
Last time I talk to him, I was upset, because he didn’t tell me the truth. I’m not stupid, I m a French independent woman.
I know the guy is playing with my heart. What should I do? How can I just not take the beautiful scrambles he has to offer to me and begin to respect myself more? How can I break the bewitchment?
Hi, this is a question for Bella. It is my true story and a need another point of view. You are Dominicans, you may read my story and understand better than me.
Is it a usual behavior? Is he just taking advantage of me? I know it is. What I do not understand is how I get trapped by a smart guy, but still, a scam. Very hard to stop them once they take your heart.
You have all the evidence that you need to prevent you from falling prey to a predator.
Based on all you’ve said, it is evident that this Rasta man has discovered that women with your preference in men are easy prey and he will continue to frequent this hunting ground. Notice all his children’s mothers are if European decent.
You have to now determine whether you want to be a victim or partner in such a relationship. Some women look past all the odds and stick around just for the island romance or the thrill of whatever pleasure these black men provide.
However you, Dominique seems to have fallen in love and when your heart is involved, that can cause all kinds of hurt.
You are not the only one to be in a situation like that. There’s a common misconception that white desperate women flock to the islands in droves every year seeking to get their groove back from black men because perhaps the white men aren’t as “strong” as they want.
Perhaps this is why we see many times white ladies flaunting some Rasta men that local girls would probably never give a second look.
So, to answer your question as to whether it a usual behavior, more often than not it is, and yes, he is probably taking advantage of the culture.
Dominque, don’t be too hard on yourself. The heart is not always too smart but hey, look at it this way: you were brought into light before you ended up giving him another minute of your time.
If this will make you feel any better, a friend of mine was in a similar situation and like you, she found out that the man was using her for money. She never set him wise and his last request from her was a car. So she said “sure baby” (in her British accent). She went to town and bought one of those toy cars at the Chinese store and took it home to him. He didn’t wait for her to end the relationship. He ended it.
So take courage. Move on. Use this as a yard stick to measure other relationships.
Oh..this doesn’t mean that all Rasta men are the same. There are some really good, loving, caring men with dread locks around. Just make sure that the next time you hook up with anyone, you do your homework, especially if you are one who falls in love quickly.