DEAR BELLA: A Rastaman is playing with my heart…what should I do?

Dear Bella.

I read it on Facebook and I always find you give the wise answer. Now, it’s my turn to ask you something…

I’m not proud to tell this story, but I need a good advice. I’m sure you have a better picture than me…

Last year, I met a man from Dominica in Guadeloupe, and we had a romance. He lives in Norway and plans to go back to DA in a close future.

He was on vacation. I m a white woman, and he is the Rasta tourist. We spent time together.

It was very intense and fun. He has 5 kids from 4 different European women, but I didn’t mind, everyone has a space to fill. When he left, he was very sad, telling me to wait for him, that he loves me. We talked on WhatsApp and texted a lot at the beginning.

On social media, I saw he was flirting with young white pretty ladies and I finally get he was living with the mother of one of his kids. It is very hurtful to me, because I want to believe he has feelings for me, has he assured me.

He will come back to Caribbean in November. He expects me to welcome him and take care of him.

Last time I talk to him, I was upset, because he didn’t tell me the truth. I’m not stupid, I m a French independent woman.

I know the guy is playing with my heart. What should I do? How can I just not take the beautiful scrambles he has to offer to me and begin to respect myself more? How can I break the bewitchment?

Hi, this is a question for Bella. It is my true story and a need another point of view. You are Dominicans, you may read my story and understand better than me.

Is it a usual behavior? Is he just taking advantage of me? I know it is. What I do not understand is how I get trapped by a smart guy, but still, a scam. Very hard to stop them once they take your heart.

 

Thank you!

Best

Dominique

 


 

Dominique,

You have all the evidence that you need to prevent you from falling prey to a predator.

Based on all you’ve said, it is evident that this Rasta man has discovered that women with your preference in men are easy prey and he will continue to frequent this hunting ground. Notice all his children’s mothers are if European decent.

You have to now determine whether you want to be a victim or partner in such a relationship. Some women look past all the odds and stick around just for the island romance or the thrill of whatever pleasure these black men provide.

However you, Dominique seems to have fallen in love and when your heart is involved, that can cause all kinds of hurt.

You are not the only one to be in a situation like that. There’s a common misconception that white desperate women flock to the islands in droves every year seeking to get their groove back from black men because perhaps the white men aren’t as “strong” as they want.

Perhaps this is why we see many times white ladies flaunting some Rasta men that local girls would probably never give a second look.

So, to answer your question as to whether it a usual behavior, more often than not it is, and yes, he is probably taking advantage of the culture.

Dominque, don’t be too hard on yourself. The heart is not always too smart but hey, look at it this way: you were brought into light before you ended up giving him another minute of your time.

If this will make you feel any better, a friend of mine was in a similar situation and like you, she found out that the man was using her for money. She never set him wise and his last request from her was a car. So she said “sure baby” (in her British accent). She went to town and bought one of those toy cars at the Chinese store and took it home to him. He didn’t wait for her to end the relationship. He ended it.

So take courage. Move on. Use this as a yard stick to measure other relationships.

Oh..this doesn’t mean that all Rasta men are the same. There are some really good, loving, caring men with dread locks around. Just make sure that the next time you hook up with anyone, you do your homework, especially if you are one who falls in love quickly.

 

Bella

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11 Comments

  1. Serious
    September 5, 2019

    You know what Dominique, Do him a Sampson and Delilah.
    Put Rass to sleep and cut his hair. His strength of womanizing will be over!

  2. viewsexpressed
    September 2, 2019

    A Rastaman is playing with my heart…what should I do? Some questions:
    1. Is this man a real rasta, or is he looking for the comfort for himself, a wife who will on obey rasta that I will eat Ital food today and do not bring pork and meat in the house…etc etc etc.
    2. Rastas, like the Muslims` “strong male chauvinist that I strongly don`t.condone, but keep my eyes and ears open.
    My dear lady understand and get to know the cult8re, behaviour, life, education of any man before you say “I do”. These guys are domineering, demand respect and refuse to acknowledge that women also are “educated, bread winners, wisdom, loyal and independent thinkers” Please then be careful of what you see and what you dont see. Also, is your religion compatible with this Rasta’s own? Please observe, ask questions, politely demonstrate your
    independence and yr thoughts, meaning, get him to understand you are who you are and as independent in thinking as he is. Good luck, go for it and Gods…

  3. Casio
    September 2, 2019

    This is a fake story.

  4. Seen it all before
    September 1, 2019

    I actually find the rasta + white woman combo so funny. It’s creepy how well known and cliché this kind of situation is.
    Bella is right, is always scrub looking rasta you seeing with white woman playing rasta too, and they always have about 3 children looking like steps.

    I does feeling like the rasta men brainwashing these women. Even you, who see all what that wrong, isn’t turned off by him. Alu easy meat for them to control, rise above that.

  5. A View From The Side
    September 1, 2019

    Let me offer you the un-sanitized and politically incorrect version of Bella’s advice to you:

    You are nothing but a Grown A** scheming skeezer who is trying to play the victim. The rolling stone “Rasta” you hooked up with is also doing himself and his children a great disservice with his consequential womanizing.

    My simple advice to you is to pull up your big woman drawers, own up to your philandering and move on.

  6. September 1, 2019

    Ladies be very careful of those conmen out there. A woman whom I know very well once met me and began taking to me about a man that she meet. All the talk that she told me sounds to very nice . In response I told her to be very careful. for these talks were to sweet. Little did know. In less than one month. I ran across her. She had a different story with tears I her eyes. Another woman co-worker that I had. went on vacation for 2 months. When she came back to the work place. She was desperately preparing for her wedding and she ask me to be one of her groom’s or.best men however you call it. I did not take part because I thought it was all to crazy. Well in less than no time the woman put the man out on the streets.
    I know at time it tuff for those of us men and woman that falls in love very quickly . Be of good courage my dear. Let the man loss. Am sure you will get back on your feet.

  7. Modern day Ras
    September 1, 2019

    Think it easy to leave a Ras every time you see a mop that must break you down

  8. August 31, 2019

    @Dominique, your story reminds of a friend from a while ago, I live in Canada, she is or was a white Canadian; I am also from Dominica. It has been so long since we lost touch, I don’t even know if she is alive today

    I don’t know when she started with a man from Jamaican, a solid rastaman. But from what she told me, she seemed to have been in love with him, but he was not the same to her.

    He lived in Jamaica; she used to go there to be with him or spend her own money to get him to Canada to be with her.

    It got to the point where she tried to commit suicide over him; she called me every day, to talk about him; but what could I tell her that could soothe her pain?

    We lost touch and I don’t know if she ever got over him, I just hope that she did.

    Dominique, you are aware that the man is playing with your heart. And as a woman, I am suggesting that you pick up your bag and run as fast as you can before it is too late for you.

  9. look it
    August 31, 2019

    what looks to be true is not true. You knew all along that the a.s tarr had children with other women yet ,you try to steal him away from his children. You are heartless and out of control. You are only looking to have a good gossip. Leave the children’s dad alone.

  10. Slim Shadee
    August 31, 2019

    By headlining your narrative with “a Rastaman is playing with my heart”, you immediately lost any chance of empathy from me. Please note that deceitful or devious behavior is not a respecter of spiritual or religious persuasion.

    Your own words indicate you are good for yourself and knew exactly who and what you were getting. The man told you enough of his personal situation for you to make a wise decision about your future together.

    Ain’t this some shiggiddy! !! Things have really flipped. We now have a woman from Guadeloupe seeking a reading of tea leaves and advice from a Dominican.

    Bella I am calling your bluff on this one as there appears to be something rotten in Norway and Denmark.

  11. Rass
    August 31, 2019

    You kno what cut his locs he will behave

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