DEAR BELLA: How do I get my female friend to return borrowed money?

Dear Bella

Hello Bella,

Some months ago, I helped out a female friend of mine with some money to get new clothes and stuff for a job that she was starting. I was very happy to help her out.

I took the money from my savings and informed her that I was trying to gather it up for a particular thing. We both agreed it was a loan.

She said when she received her first paycheck, she would refund me. I told her she can pay me back on her second salary because she had just started working.

It just so happened that during the holidays she visited me and we ended up being intimate.

We knew each other a very long time ago and neither of us has steady relationships. But we are not really that into each other so we never hit it off.

We just remained friends but we had some drinks and fruit cake and that went into our heads I suppose.

In the second month, I asked her for the money but she told me I would get it on the 1st of January. I agreed, although that wasn’t the initial arrangement.

Anyway, when she came by my house on New Year’s night, I thought that was what she was bringing for me but that wasn’t the case.

Monday -three days later- I asked her for that money because several days had passed but she told me she wasn’t giving me the money because she thought she paid me already.

I don’t understand that language. That wasn’t the arrangement. Should I just leave her with the money? Or should I take further action? Because Bella it was well over $1000 and I honestly need my money.

 

My Money

 


 

Dear My Money,

Somehow, I believe that whatever response I give, some people may be offended. I am taking my chances anyway.

I agree with you when you say a loan is a loan. I understand too that sometimes, when women are intimate with a man, any money that he would dish out isn’t considered loans.

But your situation is different. That money was loaned even before you and this woman became intimate.

I believe she should own up to her financial responsibility and let the onus be on you to decide whether you would in fact take it all or give her back some of it.

It seems to me that even after being intimate you want your money. It also appears that she thought the intimacy was payment enough.

If you can do without the money, then leave it alone. This doesn’t mean, however, that you don’t have to tell her how you feel and guard her against such practice.

But if you need your money, there is nothing preventing you from pursuing it by whatever means you believe will be successful.

 

Best,

Bella

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21 Comments

  1. Digicel phone
    January 16, 2021

    I would say count it off as a loss, let her think that she got over on you. She will be back hopefully you don’t let it happen a second time…Maybe turn the tables on her
    let her give you some more …P and when she thinks she will be getting money you
    ghost her…lol

  2. Man bite dogs
    January 7, 2021

    My advice to you let her get away with the money don’t even ask her for it, I also notice there is people having a laugh at you dont worry what comes around goes around one day it will happen to them, what comes around goes around!!!!

  3. Ha Ha Ha
    January 7, 2021

    One question for my money. How many rounds did you make and how long did your last for your thousand dollars.

  4. Kalinago
    January 7, 2021

    I think she should pay him back, because he really helped her when she needed it. He should have made her sign a letter or something, because some people are just not good. He should go to a lawyer to get his money back, if he really wants his money. I don’t think she’s going to pay him back soon, some women just do not like paying men back with money.
    That should be a lesson to other men, do not borrow women your money without having something to trace it back when they do not want to pay you, and they figure sleeping with you will pay off the debt.

    • Fummy
      February 17, 2021

      I agree with you, and it is not only men borrowing women money, DON’T borrow/Lend NO money to NO one, money brings enemies

  5. Peace
    January 7, 2021

    I have heard similar stories from men of different ages and financial means in Dominica. This appears to be a rather disturbing trend among our young women. We seem to have created a quid-pro-quo culture and the female body is the main item being traded.

    My Money, I don’t know about you but I am not well-off enough to walk away from a $1,000 obligation. Some times a demand letter from a lawyer is all that might be needed. Kiss that friendship goodbye.

  6. Envar
    January 6, 2021

    Rule number one, never sleep with a woman that you borrow money. Drinks and fruit cake my foot. you knew exactly what you anted from day one. sleep wit her again and forget the money.

    • Mr King
      January 7, 2021

      hahaha.. he paid an advance for services to be rendered .. If i was him i just tell her come for more cake and drinks and make sure u full your mouth .. when the month over just move on . dread that lost in the hairy bank from the time you gave the money to her .

  7. Me
    January 6, 2021

    So Bella is saying that taking money in exchange for sex is fine? Wow! This country seems to have a lot of that going on.. very demeaning to women and bad morals..

    • Frank N Stein
      January 7, 2021

      If thats what you understood from what Bella said you are not ready for DNO articles, go back to comprehension class.

  8. Tell me more
    January 6, 2021

    I’m much more interested in what happened on New Year’s night 8-O

    • Da Passports
      January 8, 2021

      Missing out the juicy part :lol: :lol:

  9. Man bites dogs
    January 6, 2021

    Man I don’t know how old you are but you should have known
    From the time that woman gave you that puss in the bag you were on a hiding to nothing, sometimes we all learn the hard way and painful not all women are the same I met my wife in the Royal navy and never look back, good luck in the future be strong God bless.

  10. Jahchild
    January 6, 2021

    One does not cancel off the other, she has to repay you unless you both agree to alter the loan agreement.

    I really can’t comprehend how some women seem to think sex is legal tender!

    Get your money

  11. AA
    January 6, 2021

    MY money, Bella is so right. You Should go after what is yours. Do not let a little things on the side keep you from getting what is yours cause it May become a habit. She has probably tried that with another guy before. Some of us women too badmind.
    Report her sorry as. if She cannot pay up

  12. iamIamanidiot
    January 6, 2021

    My brother Salt on your paloutte

  13. Well, Well, Well
    January 6, 2021

    But what is this eh? On principle, and whether you need your money or not, let her pay you back boss. A loan is a loan plain and simple.

    And besides, she seems to be a very expensive bombster! Over a $1,000 for one night of intimacy. Tell that girl she thought wrong, or else make sure she gives you several more night of intimacy for your money.

    • That is something else
      January 7, 2021

      It was 2 nights! Something went down on New Years! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

      • Well, Well, Well
        January 7, 2021

        :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

      • Da Passports
        January 8, 2021

        She have 8 more for him then :lol: :lol: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

  14. Bwa-Banday
    January 6, 2021

    Plain and simple you were played by a well versed prostitute or should I say someone who is used to sleeping around for money and other valuables. From the time she came and have drinks with you she had already made up her mind that thus would be re-payment. Like it or not that money is lost, gone, taken forever. Like a sheep you were led to the slaughter.

    Thats a pattern with most Dcan women these days. I have had my share so I can say that boldly. No work, no money, no man (because they can’t afford these greedy leeches) so these women are now using their body undercover in the world’s oldest profession. I have said it before and will say it again, the only common people in Dca with money are;
    1. Women with a well off man in the diaspora (married or not)
    2. Women who have a thing with current politicians
    3. Women who dupe men or get involved (overtly or covertly) in the world’s oldest profession

    Let it go bro the money is gone with wind/ con artist! Lesson learnt I…

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