Bella,
I wouldn’t call myself opulent but I live a comfortable life. I have a very prominent job and I am independent.
I have my own vehicle and I have my own apartment. Both of my parents are dead and let’s say I get by. Now I am single, not because nobody wants me but because Bella, I always attract the worst types of men.
Somehow, I like those I can control. I don’t like mature men because really, they always have the upper hand. So, I go for those who are younger than me that I have to take care of from scratch.
I found myself with this 21-year-old even though I am over 40 years and I liked the controlling thing. I would pick him up. Drop him off. Cook his food.
I decide where we go because he has no vehicle and I basically had him wrapped around my fingers. I like that feeling Bella.
Anyway eventually, after giving him loads of cash, new clothes even help with a vehicle then he kinda sorta left me for a younger girl.
I moved on to someone else. Same story. That one crashed my vehicle. Used me. Now I am single again and eyeing this young entertainer who I suspect likes me. I am worried though that he will do me just like the others.
So, I am playing it safe. I am giving this one a wait and see approach because he is very young. 23 to be exact and because I suspect he has his own money then I might not be able to do what I want with him.
What do you think? Should I move on him or wait?
Not Ashamed
Not Ashamed,
Just like some of my readers, I sometimes wonder if these letters we receive are made up. I say this not to criticize your issue but because it is unbelievable that even while you were writing, you didn’t realize that the problem is really you.
Nothing is wrong in liking younger guys because really, some women prefer older men. But for goodness sake, your desire isn’t even really about love but because you want someone you can control.
Love is not about control. It is about free will. You will continue to experience these issues if your reason for relationships is to control your partner.
I suggest you work on yourself before you can think about entering into any relationship. What you may find is that unless you get to the bottom of what’s causing you to want these kinds of control, you will continue to live a broken life.
Why is it so important for you to control anyone? Is it something about yourself that you feel weak if you are not on the controlling end?
As I indicated, self-examination is the best way to get to the root of your issue because there are many things about you that I don’t know.
However, you know yourself better than anyone else does and you should begin by taking a good look at yourself if you want to do anything about your situation.
Bella
Not Ashamed
You should turn that the other way around, because you should be “Ashamed” if you had any pride or self respect you would not be so blatantly and callously be talking about how much control you have over younger men while you take care of them, you are something sick and most likely crying out for some sort of help. You seem to feel the need to buy love since you yourself have no self love smh what a pity ! Please take a step back and reevaluate yourself, you sound like a fool.
I think the first step is to get deliverance from the controlling demon. Then ask God to direct your path.
Control is related to dependency.
They are two negatives that feed on each other and the damage they do is not limited to personal relationships. The same corrosive symptoms in government affect society as a whole.
I should have added that the dependent, sooner or later, resents and rebels against the controller.
At that rate I see you ending up old and miserable on your own asking what went wrong. But, the good side of things is the young bucks will fill you with pipe as needed
.
There are many like you out there in Dca now who are actually married but serving in the capacity of Sugar Mummy these days. That actually helps the economy because the young guys on the block will have money in their pockets and with no stress. I love Sugar Mommies especially those in uniform (police, nurses etc) but the control side of it drives me crazy so I hit….boom, boom, boom and pretend, pretend, pretend until I have enough and run like hell
. Nothing wrong in dating younger guys but the way you are going about it signals trouble ahead. But , if it’s all about getting young pipe water then do your thing for now. Hit me up and I shall cum running 
for my share 
Bella I need to speak with Not Ashamed. There’s a few things she needs to understand first. Jeeze woman, you cannot be this age and still want to be puppetting little boys. You want an exciting life then, that’s fine. Anyway, where are you Not Ashamed let’s have drinks and enjoy sunsets cause you be bugging or the wrong reasons..
You may benefit from seeing a therapist. There is something in your past that’s influencing this power struggle. Abuse perhaps? You will be better off getting to the bottom of the situation. You’ll be happier and better prepared for a healthier relationship irrespective of the age of your partner.
Good luck. To be in a balanced relationship is a beautiful thing
You may think you are going after those young men for intimacy–which most of the time has nothing to do with love, you are searching for a mother-son relationship, but still, your desire to control him is wrong.
But you should be ashamed, in fact you need to see a psychiatrist, tell him that you have a desire for control over younger men, which is the driver of your life
You claim to live a comfortable lifestyle and in the same breath you say you are getting by? You are either getting by, which to me, means you are living pay cheque to pay cheque or you are comfortable, which means if you missed a pay cheque it would not matter because you have an emergency fund that you can fall back on for 3 to 6 months. Which is it?
Now for your pathetic self. Leave the people children alone and get a man your age.
You will remain loney,good job,and your pathetic,keep walking woman.
Lol. Even Bella thinks its fake.
You’re probably so ashamed that you fooling yourself! You’re just a lost/lust soul!!!
You old hag,you are old enough to be the boys mother. No respect for self or others. In other words, you are a cradle snatcher.
Did you notice the amount of “I” you have in your letter? Guess what that says about you.