DEAR BELLA: I thought this guy liked me but he’s gone inexplicably cold


What a way to start the new year. I feel like I am chasing after a person who clearly isn’t running towards me but running away from me.

I liked this guy and I suspected he liked me too. We were intimate just around four weeks ago and since then it’s like communication just went south.

Before the intimacy episode, he would call, text, message and even take me out on drives. But soon after, he became distant.

I’ve asked him several times whether I didn’t meet his expectations, or if I said something wrong or if I smelled bad. I’m really trying to figure out why he just turned cold.

I also suspect he becomes agitated when I try to question him about his sudden ‘coldness’. So, I don’t want to push him any further but I really want to know.

He would take hours to respond to my WhatsApp messages and he seldom answers when I call.

Should I just agree that he doesn’t want to be with me like that? Should I continue to pursue him? Should I continue to find a reason behind his behavior? I really want to know. To know if freedom.


Cold Like Ice




Hello Cold Like Ice,

I believe you already know the answer to your question. But sometimes, like most people, we want confirmation from another source. You shouldn’t be the one chasing this man down or trying to pursue him.

If you are the one doing all the calling and texting then that’s already a red flag.

These sort of feelings or interests are supposed to be mutual for anything to work.

He’s probably not that into you or if he was, perhaps his feelings may have changed after the sexual encounter between you two.

It could also mean that sex was all he wanted. Trying to pressure him into finding out why his feelings have changed could, as you rightfully said, agitate him. Worst case scenario, you could find out something that might cause you more heartbreak.

Advice…leave the person in peace.



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  1. January 13, 2022

    It’s amazing that you take your matter to Bella. I strongly believe that you should be questioning yourself instead of questioning the man. Am assuming that you may have done something to him that made him remain cold. Secondly you may have give it up too quickly. Sometimes it saves you best to hold off a little longer.

    • Lisa Watson
      March 20, 2022

      We all know that this man probably just wanted to “smash” and go. Give me a break , she did nothing to him. He got what he wanted and decided to go ghost on her. Sadly but truly this is the world we live in today…

  2. Speaking From Experience
    January 12, 2022

    Don’t cry to Bella. The only one who should be shedding tears is your poor future husband whom you have robbed of his Yah lawful right to deflower you. I suggest you bend your knees and repent instead of playing victim. Be advised that the complaint department does not accept self inflicted incidents.

  3. Tabak
    January 11, 2022

    The nicest a man will be to you is when he trying to stuff you for the very first time

  4. Weighing All Matters
    January 11, 2022

    Some DNO Bella responders remind of Wall Street speculators who know the current state of affairs but still ignore the facts while dishing out unproductive and wrong advice. There are three sides to every relationship debacle; his, hers and the truth. In this case, we are only privy to Empress’ story absent from hearing from the other party. In light of this, all I can advise Empress is to use this as a learning experience. I wish you the best in meeting a caring, compatible and loving partner moving forward.

  5. Lennox Linton
    January 11, 2022

    Well well well Bella you’ve hit home with this one “Leave the Man Alone”. The reality is in this life you win some you lose some. Some men just want a taste of the grapes and once they get it they are no longer interested in that bottle of wine others are insecure to commit and will shy away from commitment. My advice to you dear is keep the cookie in the cookie jar don’t be so quick to let it out.

  6. Empress
    January 10, 2022

    Dear Cold Like Ice,

    Let me start by reminding you that you are an empress, a queen and some man who deserves you in the future wife to be. Sometimes we forget how precious we are as individuals and seek gratification and approval from other persons. You are enough, you are beautiful and you will get everything you manifest and welcome into your life. As you learn from this dumdum do not accept the same from other guys. Some men are literally just here to play a game and when they can no longer rise to the occasion then they are ready to become some poor woman’s problem. You deserve to be happy do not settle for less.

    We have one life to live you should be happy. I wish all the best in your future endeavours and I am sending some love and positive energy in your direction.

    From one empress to another.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 2
    • Zandoli
      January 11, 2022

      Do you know the woman to be saying how beautiful she is? Do you know the guy to know that he is a “dumbdumb”.
      You read only what she said. You have no idea why the guy is ghosting her. Perhaps you should be more measured in your response.

      Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 7
  7. EZ Rider
    January 10, 2022

    Sounds like the guy has decided to take his business elsewhere after a one-stop shop at your establishment. Time to set your sights forward and move on. Next time consider a contract before surrendering the goods.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0
  8. Destiny
    January 10, 2022

    Some men are just there for the sex. If the sex was good I believe he would come right back. Men need to change this sh.. they keep doing to innocent women. Sweetie if it was meant to be it would have been so make the rest of ur insanity count and move on. It may hurt but it will pass.

  9. Bwa-Banday
    January 10, 2022

    Count your losses and move on while its early. This will be less painful in the long run. However, examine your thoughts to see what went wrong. Something pushed him away. It may be that someone he’s been eyeing became available hence you are now on the back burner because you are way too much work, complicated or just plain and simple full of yourself. Or he may have just realized you are nothing but an expensive habit he cannot afford.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 11 Thumb down 16
    • Lisa Watson
      March 20, 2022

      So what we are saying her rejection is now her fault ?????

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