Bella
I will never ever help young people again. They are a bunch of ungrateful sets of people. Especially some of them in Dominica.
I took this girl to live with me who was from an abusive home. Her mother died and her father never took care of her.
I took her in when she was just about 9 years old. I am a well-respected woman in the Dominican society.
At first, she went to a mixed school that does not have a high academic performance. I spoke with the principal of a well-known’ good, girls’ school and they accepted her.
With help from me, she got a scholarship to attend another very prominent school here. She did well. I tried to raise her well.
She went to church. She was always in her books. And I can say for the better part of the years she was well behaved.
But all of a sudden, she graduated from high school and she turned into this person I never knew. She started walking around the house half-naked and my husband is right there.
It almost appeared as if she was trying to seduce him or something. She is young, 17 now and very attractive, well rounded and so beautiful.
She would wait until I go to bed to go on the couch with underwear and vests and watch television with my husband.
Although she would be sitting on another chair, the vibes just don’t look or feel good.
When I asked my husband to speak with her, he said things like “you know them young people” or “I doesn’t study the child honey”.
I feel disrespected in my home. Now she would go out and stay very late and because I don’t really drive at nights because of a slight case of glaucoma, my husband would be the one to pick her up sometimes all after 11 and 12 at nights.
And even if she would be just in town with friends as she claimed, he would take sooooo long before he returns home.
When I asked him why he took an hour to return home just from Roseau he would say “oh he couldn’t find her”.
Bella, some stupidness going on and I need to find out. The child clearly has no respect for me.
I am worried that if I kick her out then she would become like these derelicts on the public street. And because I am her adopted parent, it would look bad on my part.
Maybe I should return her to the Welfare Department where I found her. What do you think?
Worried Wife
Worried Wife
Clearly, your adopted daughter is on the wrong path and she is being aided and abetted by your husband.
You need to set rules in your house that she must adhere to. A mature teenager walking around naked in your house is not acceptable.
You didn’t indicate whether you had spoken to her about it but based on your husband’s response, he clearly is not the least bit offended by her indecent exposure on the couch late at night.
It also seems to me that you are allowing this teenage girl to do as she pleases in your home.
It appears that to be comfortable with her late-night social events to the point where your husband leaves home to go and pick her up.
There has to be a line drawn at some point. And this point is NOW, because from all indications, this thing is heading out of control.
If this child that you invested your time, money and effort into all these years cannot respect you then she needs to leave using the same door that she entered.
You need to speak with your husband too. Something is just not feeling right about his relationship with this teenage girl. You must remember that she is not his biological daughter, nor yours.
You can speak to the welfare association about your rights where this matter is concerned.
A situation like that can turn ugly and you could end up losing your marriage or suffering from a broken home, just because you tried to do good.
Sometimes the goodness of our hearts can land us in difficult situations. Be of good courage. Go talk to the Welfare Department. Explore your options and decide which is best for you.
All the best
Bella
just remember its always easier to put the blame on the child
Why are you and Bella shaming a 17yr old girl? Once again women bringing eachother down and leaving the man out of it. If your outlandish suspicions were true, you’d kick her out and STILL lie down with the man. I hate nonsense.
You not ashamed to be sexually threatened by a girl YOU RAISED since 9yrs? Ew. It not even sounding like you see her as a daughter. And Bella self painting the girl as disposable because she not blood. Both of alu upsetting.
Why is everyone blaming a 17 year old girl when there is a big hard back married man encouraging that behavior in his home? That is not to say she is behaving appropriately, but when you are the adult in the house, you get to set the rules of the home. The man keep downplaying the girl’s behavior and turning a blind eye to it IN HIS HOME.
Are you guys for real?
at 18 u are no longer responsible.
Lady, don’t even bother going with them to pick up child, you have reason to be suspicious, then get actual evidence, invest in hidden cameras in your ride, it does not have to be placed where they can see it or even placed where it can see them just record audio for 2 to 3 hours. you turn it on and leave it under a car seat, next day you going work or wherever just take it out, pop the memory card in your phone and listen to the audio. No need to be stressing yourself on a point that can be proven to be true or false with evidence that can be attained so easily. If your husband sees the girl as his daughter then no matter what she says or do he will see her as a daughter, she can be butt naked in front of him he will only see that 9-year-old you brought into your lives. Lady give your husband more credit that your paranoia letting you give him. Everyone here will want to paint your husband a a bad person in your eyes to push a narriative, dont let that blind you, the girl is being
The girl is being rebellious as all teenage girls get, the time could be that when she tells your husband she somewhere in town, by the time he gets to that location she and her friends move to another one, your husband may be so fed up with the cat and mouse game every time he go to pick her up that by the time he gets home he just wants to get all that over with and move on to this late-night movies or what-have-you. Have faith in your husband or get actual evidence but either way sop stress yourself on something that may not even exist. A lot of women commenting have personal hatred towards men and can only see one way, so don’t let people who cant think rationally give you advice. Remember the old saying that “Misery loves company” when people give you advice always know where their bias stands.
Lady you do not know how to get vex vex?
And shake up the house? You schooled her you are feeding her. Come on . Get some attitude lady and show them. Do not play dumb with your husband. Get vex
Bwa-Banday I like your comment.its an evil world satan never gives up so should the wife. make sure your prayers reaches the lord.I mean do not call on him only in times of problems.
The problem is you. Well, the “I” in your complaint. The I, I, me.
I could not tell if you were already married when you adopted this girl but if you were, then you and your husband should have adopted her. That way she would be his child too. At least he would be less likely to play around with his child.
Even if you got married after you had adopted the child, your husband should have adopted her after you were married to establish a family. Otherwise, who knows? he could have been eyeing her since he met you. Think back.
Worried, you never said if there are other kids in the household. This young lady needs to be disciplined. You have to demand and receive respect in your home. Have the welfare people talk to her and if there is no change then (for me) it would be “take the highway”. She should be kissing your feet for being a mother to her for so many years.
You guys are looking at the wrong target. This has everything to do with the husband and little to do with the girl.
It would not surprise me if the husband is having an affair with the girl. Knowing she has the man in her clutches, she does not care how the wife feels.
Clearly the man does not support or respect his wife. If he did, that practice would end in a minute.
But he is in for a rude awakening. He might end up losing everything in the end, including that young girl.
sweetie, if she cant respect your home return to sender.
those young girls are very ungrateful and like married men,then they end up destroying their lives before they 25 then boom baby reach man doe good.young ladies take allu time to grow i know there is hormones rushing but trust me it is not worth it,respect ppl marriages especially the ppl who took care of u,my lady u need to watch ur husband because he will also take advantage of her n i hope he is not responsible for the behavoir. life is so messed up…smh
im sorry to say that ur husband is eating my dear
This is so sad! When youth reach a certain age and their bodies start transitioning into adulthood they go through phases. Hormonal reactions can cause erratic behavior in teens too. A doctor and psychologist should be called in because she needs evaluation both medical and psychological. Lets not go crazy in the comments and make wild accusations just yet.
e adult here is the husband, he is encouraging the situation and possibly taking advantage of this child. Who knows he could be the one who started interfering with her hence her behaviour. I know I said dont judge but his actions are not what we expect of an adult husband and he needs counselling too. Be careful with this man, if he does not want to the family to get help you have to seriously consider leaving him. sorry, this must be really painful.
I understand you cannot drive at night , But why lot your husband alone go and pick her up what are you doing you cannot go along to accompany him. You have to share the blame tell her no clothes on no watching tv seems like you cannot put your foot down some one have to be the leader of the house look like there is no leadership.
Well it looks like she suffering from “Coco Scratch-Scratch” according to my old grandma. But your husband is right these young ones these days are a different breed. She is going through that rebel phase but will soon have to calm down because some mandingo Dowasco worker will be forced to assist and lay serious pipe and the police may have to get involved.
I personally don’t think your husband will disrespect the young lady now but he may be playing for time
so he putting in the work today which is very sad knowing that you adopted and raised that child as yours. She should never be viewed as available to him. You and him need to sit her down and together read her the riot act. Grown folks who can’t follow the rule find their own place….period!
And get your eyes checked because your husband think you blind and dumb because the glaucoma start troubling you. Keep those old eyes on him
My dear lady,you don’t know how lucky you are. You marry 17 times.4better,4worst,4richer,4poorer that 16 plus this gentleman you got for husband. according to you the girl is sensible. She thinks her first line of protection is the man at home whom she trust and won’t harm her. Most of the time,she tells about how her other friends behave.He will tell her,should I TELL YOUR MUM,Yes,if you want to but, i hope she doesn’t take it the wrong way.your husband will say to her ,cover yourself up,she will reply you are my dad.She tells you anything and everything but nothing to lead you on.