I am an experienced, educated, and energetic young lady. However, I think I really need help; I prayed, cried, had sleepless nights, sought counseling, spoke with 2 very close friends but it’s like things only get worse to an extent.
First, I am in a relationship with a guy that I really love and Bella, I know he really loves me because he stands by me through thick and thin. But sadly Bella, I am not happy most times with him mainly because he doesn’t communicate with me about us and he always wants things his way.
Bella, before I would put my neck down for him but now, I don’t know If I’ll do the same until the situation comes.
I work in an office, and found comfort, felt love and happiness in a coworker, things were well until he was confronted by one of his family making serious accusations on me which left him emotionally broken. Months after, he still talks about it and [is] now having issues that I have another lover.
I am stuck in the middle because I’ve been with Lover 1 for years and lover 2 for 1 year.
I am afraid to choose because either way, one of them is gonna be really hurt. I often feel like leaving both to avoid feeling that I love one more than the other. I feel guilt bubbling inside me. And if I am to be honest, I wish I could remain with both and express myself comfortably.
For at least 6months, I’ve wanted to write to you, and finally took courage because I don’t know how much again I can handle.
Hope to get some great advice and feedback.
Stucked Somewhere Along
Hello Stucked Somewhere Along,
There’s an old adage that you cannot have your cake and eat it too.
Wanna hear a secret? Well, it won’t be a secret since thousands read my column, but I was in love with two people once. And it didn’t end well. I ended up losing both and being very miserable afterwards.
Wow! That took some courage to spill. But let’s get back to your dilemma now.
So, you are in love with both men. You fell in love with one of them after feeling neglected by the other.
While I understand that lack of love can drive you straight into the arms of another man, you have to, at some point, be honest with both parties and if you are allowed to choose, then you would have to pick the one you love the most.
Not to discourage you, but you have to prepare to lose both because men cannot handle cheating well.
There’s no breaking up without some kind of hurt and pain, especially when love is the molding agent. But it makes no sense stringing both men along and losing sleep when you could be resting easily.
Honesty is important. This has obviously gone on for far too long. You need to address it without further delay.
Be brave. Be bold. Talk to your lovers. Let them know what the issue has been. Yes, it’s easier said than done but if you want to move on with your life, you have to bite the bullet and tell the truth.
Hey, sometimes in life, the hardest thing and the right thing are often the same thing.
Best of luck.