DEAR BELLA: Marriage turned my wife into a monster! What can I do?

Bella,

 

I feel like I married the wrong woman. When I met her, she was sweet. She cooked the best food. She tried hard to impress me. She dressed well.

She was always willing to do anything, go anywhere and she treated my son with love and respect. As soon as we got married, she turned into this monster.

She cooks whenever she wants, she roughs up my son and it’s as if she’s not in love with me anymore. We hardly do things grownups do.

I try to speak with her but she insists she is alright. We both work hard. I pay the mortgage because she met me with my home.

I don’t ask her to do much. She would use her money however she wants. She has all she needs. She just seems distant and constantly on her phone.

Can you suggest what I can do? I don’t want a divorce. I want to be able to love my life.

 

Worried Husband

 


 

Dear Worried Husband

When women behave like that, most times it’s because there’s a problem. If you claim that she turned into a “monster” after marriage then that indicates indeed there is an issue that has not been dealt with.

The only person that can tell you what the problem is, is your wife. If after you have searched yourself and concluded that you’ve not done anything to change her attitude, then you should try addressing it again.

If you have a mutual friend you can trust, then perhaps that persons can be a mediator. What about your in-laws? Church leader?

If you allow this matter to go unresolved, then things can indeed get worse.

Approach her again. Let her know how you see things. Maybe this time she may open up.

 

Best,

Bella

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19 Comments

  1. Kawant woseau
    June 17, 2020

    Bull…. response bella,this man need’s to walk away from this marriage,especially when it comes to his son being abused,this woman out a place,i would not encourage any small talk,not with my child,my blood involved,which she met in his house making him miserable.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0
  2. zandoli
    June 16, 2020

    This sounds like my friend and former neighbour Roy. He lived with Donna for 8 years and they finally decided to get married. Roy had a son from a previous relationship. After they were married he opened a grocery store.
    Donna then decided she wanted to get pregnant. Roy said the timing was not right because he had just spent all this money to open the store and she should wait a little longer. Donna was going to have none of it. She then gave Roy a written list of what she wanted or else. He thought she was joking, but she was dead serious. She wanted a child, a house blah blah blah.

    I met Roy about a year later and asked how Donna was doing. He told me they had divorced a year after they got married. He said he saw a side of Donna he had not seen before they were married. She seemed like a very nice quiet woman over the years I knew her.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0
  3. star
    June 16, 2020

    the woman was playing you knowing that u have it all,money house etc. plus u was spoiling her. she never loved you. saw an opportunity and grabbed it. she wants your house and everything you owns. and yes she piping.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0
  4. look joke
    June 16, 2020

    So de man already search himself but bella telling him search himself again? Typical women response of “is your fault not the woman fault and if is de woman fault is still your fault”, Gasa best u face reality, mamzel wanted your house so she can bring de man that always on de phone with her der. She roughing up your yut because he maybe suspect de vibes and she want to intimidate him to not talk. This is why men dont want to get married dem days, Dominican women spoiled by that American influence to much, get married then take everything in a divorce, best u setup a hidden camera in your bedroom to record when u not der, you might be surprised at what u find out.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0
    • mountain
      June 17, 2020

      This is no joke, unless you are married you will never enjoy the world. The lady try to make a man out of him and gave him a bit of respect but he was not up to it. Sweet, good cook, what more do you expect from a lady. Here is the catch. Dominican children are grown up before their aged. How do you complained to a man about his son, you are not my mother, you are this and you are that. My lady when you meet a man with somebody else child, run a mile. The man was looking for a servant and not a wife, he miss out big time.

      Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 1 Thumb down 10
      • 72nations72elements
        June 18, 2020

        So, hold on. mountain you sound like one of those women. In the end you are not the yout man mother. you supposed to adjust yourself to fit into them man house you agree to live in. Instead of thinking you that running things now? cooking and cleaning dont mean anything if you like an animal in the man house making people feel uncomfortable. Best you come out there. and fast too.

  5. Peace
    June 16, 2020

    You (and getting married) was at the top of her to do list. Marriage – checked. Lol

    But seriously dude, people don’t just changed. I’m sure she showed you those traits before marriage. Your blinders were on. You could not see. When people show you who they are, believe them.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0
  6. Red Pill
    June 16, 2020

    The first mistake you made was thinking that a metal ring would stop her from showing her true colours or make her any better… You got finessed bro.
    When a marriage is new, that’s the best it will ever be but, looks like she skipped that phase altogether.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0
  7. Daily Bugle
    June 16, 2020

    You have to stop put your focus on that relationship and focus on your purpose. Work on yourself. Do something kind for yourself everyday. Spend less time around the woman, more time building the empire. Some things will improve by doing this but if you chose the wrong woman, there will always be headache. #readsignsearly #onlyactionsmatter

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0
  8. June 15, 2020

    Well, how long has the two of you been married? You did not mention children of the two of you, you just mentioned your son. You said you don’t want a divorce, but if your wife doesn’t love you, it is your only choice, unless you choose to live unhappy for the rest of your Life.

  9. Braindamage
    June 15, 2020

    Fly, fly, fly away bro. There is danger ahead.
    A car is parking in her garage ….

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
  10. Red Pill
    June 15, 2020

    The first mistake you made was getting married in the first place! Worst again it sounds like you had the most important asset(s)… SMH, you got finessed brother.
    When a marriage is new, that’s the best it will ever be but, it seems she skipped that period altogether.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0
  11. Seen it all before
    June 15, 2020

    “When I met her, she was sweet. She cooked the best food. She tried hard to impress me. She dressed well. She was always willing to do anything, go anywhere and she treated my son with love and respect. As soon as we got married, she turned into this monster.”

    LOL well sorry guys but that sounds very familiar, just swap the “she” with a “he” and I think you’ll find that a lot of women will say that’s how fellas behave in the beginning (apart from cooking the best food) – then they get COMPLACENT and start looking around at what they missing, and then they live on their phone, and treat their wives or girlfriends like mushrooms (keep them in the dark and feed them s…). Just saying….

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 1
    • SMH
      June 16, 2020

      you are very smart. i said the same

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0
  12. Augusttea
    June 15, 2020

    Dear Sir,
    Unfortunately that’s something that is quite common after marriage. Most people are on their best behavior when dating but once married and reality sets in their true colors show. Sometimes it’s intentional but often times it is not. People show and respond to love differently. The needs of a woman are different from a man in a relationship. If you’re both willing to put in the work it does not have to end in divorce. Here are a few books i would recommend. The 5 love languages. G. Chapman. His needs her needs. W. Harley. The 4 laws of marriage. J. Evans. Lastly, but most importantly you both need to put God first then each other 2nd. Good luck and may God bless your union.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0
  13. June 15, 2020

    she only wanted to move in ur house so now that shes inside waypapa..

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 2
  14. jamie
    June 15, 2020

    She has another man,get out now.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 2
  15. Bwa-Banday
    June 15, 2020

    Let me respond on behalf of Bella :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

    Run run run bro run like hell because she has a boo plumbing her faucet already. STOP playing blind!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 24 Thumb down 1
    • Bwa-Banday
      June 15, 2020

      Tole-tole making ding dang partner so you better get out of the way before you get wooded by mistake :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: . Daykarlay in action right in your face and you there mah-moe-taying! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: . Run bro run until you can’t run no more :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0

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