I am in a toxic relationship and I don’t know how to get out of it. Many people look at my “relationship” and think that I am stupid because of all that I went through with this man but I am still there.
We lived together for 3 years. After I caught him cheating and being fed up of the constant physical, verbal and emotional abuse, I decided to move out on my own.
However, after doing so, the abuse still went on. He went on to live with his new girlfriend but he keeps coming after me.
He would show up at my home without notice to spy on me and make his friends, family and new girlfriend believe that he is just coming to see his child which is not the case.
He claims that I am still his woman and if I deny him sex he will say it’s because I have someone else. More I try to get rid of him, he won’t go away and when I try to reach out to his girlfriend to tell her what’s going on, he would make her block me and believe that I’m just a jealous ex.
Bella I have gotten to the point where I am so stressed that I let myself go and I keep myself untidy and do everything he don’t like, thinking that he will stop coming after me but he still won’t leave me alone.
If I dress up looking nice or I take care of myself, he feels intimidated and thinks I’m seeing someone or other men may get attracted to me and he gets angry.
He keeps [hangs] around so men think that we are in a “relationship” but he is really living with someone else and he makes her and his family think that it’s over between us and he doesn’t want to be with me.
He never helps me with anything but if I ask someone else to help me he gets angry. I’m really fed up of this and I’ve gotten to the point where I just gave up on life and need to get rid of Mr. Toxic but still allow him a relationship with his child.
I’ve tried to get a restraining order but he got his entire family, including his girlfriend, to attack me by feeding them with lies thinking I’m trying to keep him away from his child which I won’t ever do.
He uses our child as his ticket to access me and claims that his aggressive behavior towards me is because of him.
I was so happy when he found a new girlfriend because I thought finally, I would be free but Bella nothing seems to work.
It seems to me that you don’t really want this man to leave you alone.
You have indicated several things to make me believe that you are still very close to this man.
How does he know to be angry when someone else gives you help? How does he know you got help from someone? And how do you know he is angry?
Read what you wrote. Sllooowwlly… “If I dress up looking nice or I take care of myself he feels intimidated and thinks I’m seeing someone or other men may get attracted to me and he gets angry. won’t ”
You obviously don’t want this man to leave you alone. If you want someone to leave you alone, they will.
Make up your mind what you want and then move towards it. You cannot be playing dolly house with this ex-lover and expects him to leave you alone when you want.
He obviously wants to have his relationship and keep something on the side with you.
I believe that’s your issue. You want it to be just you. You decide. It’s your life.
But accept responsibility for the current situation because a man cannot think he has the authority to be so in touch with a woman if they aren’t giving him a reason to.