DEAR BELLA: My grandad makes sexual passes at me

Dear Bella,

My grandad has made sexual passes at me on several occasions. I kept the “incidents” a secret for a while but my suppressed emotions started to have an affect on me so I told my mother. Big mistake! The story came back to me. Instead of being sympathetic, surprisingly my family made it out like it was my fault and told me I need to cover up more! My grandad is 75, so its possible he has dementia but he has not been diagnosed.

I feel like my family has taken the wrong approach to the situation. He should be tested or admitted to a home, he could do the same thing to other visitors. What would they do then?

Bella, how do I convince my family to get my grandad tested? Having shared my feelings, I still feel suppressed. I am a grown woman, my opinion should matter.


Hello Suppressed,
It is obvious that your family does not believe that your grand father needs medical attention.
Perhaps it’s because he really doesn’t. What if he is quite aware of what he’s doing? What if he has done it to them as well?
To not act surprised at such a revelation borders on custom. So it means they may be aware that the 75 year old man has these tendencies.
You are a grown woman and my advice to you is unless your grandfather lives with you, then you should try and avoid him as much as possible.
If he does live with you then you may intervene in the matter by probably having a medical professional visit the house and have him properly diagnosed.
If they find that he is in fact in his right mind and not suffering from dementia, then you know what this means.
It means you are sharing the same roof with a perverted old man and one of you would have to live the house.
Sometimes that’s just the way it goes.

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  1. hahahaha
    August 11, 2019

    your mom is a witch

    July 18, 2019

    You should confront this person directly in front of others and allow him to explain his behavior and those present to witness it (do not feel embarrassed embrace your fear and be strong). Inform them you will involve the authorities if you even smell nonsense from him or others. Write/type the complaint down on paper exactly as it happened on every occasion, with dates etc, make two copies. let them know this is what will share with the police. They will know you mean business and not playing. Both men and women engage in this type of unwanted sexual advances behavior it’s not just men. The issue is also that people in DA try to judge by American standards not knowing that every state has its own laws and some are very backward. also people (women) spread a lot of false stories for their own selfish reasons, which makes it very difficult to ascertain truth and prosecute offenders.

  3. Kalinago Justice
    June 22, 2019

    :?: That little slave plantation island known for its high level of ignorance,has alot of perverts, pedophiles incest and child molesters! The way the men on island watch little girls and speak about them is appalling! Most men on island drink alot of alcohol and also always doped! Many men do not have a girlfriend, fiancee and wife, therefore they resort to molesting little girls!!! The people on island seems cursed, therefore the forces of nature is always revenging!!!

  4. The Words of my Heart
    June 22, 2019

    Folks, we have a serious and worsening problem in our island home. Mind you, this nasty and ugly scourge is not limited to our homes and shores but it is running rampant around the world. It presents itself in many hideous forms including abuse, deviance, perversion and criminal behavior.

    The advent of social media and the lasciviousness of the carnival season has created an ultra horny populace.

    It is very shameful and troubling to read the comments of the many men who are fathers, sons and brothers that are blaming the victim when they themselves have a mother and probably sisters and daughters. Where is your compassion?

    It is high time we as a nation crawl out of our state of denial to confront this rampant and worsening problem.

    As for the young lady, I pray she finds peace, safety and sanctuary ASAP.

  5. June 21, 2019

    No man has any right to make any advance at any female,period.By all means please move from that environment asap.

  6. Bwa-Banday
    June 20, 2019

    Apparently his Cokeeyoko is bothering him in his pants. This dirty old man MUST be stopped before he start CHATEEYAYING somebody child. To hell with family, report him to the police asap.

  7. Sophia
    June 20, 2019

    Don’t let him get away with making advances. Tell him loudly that you won’t put up with it (best done if others can hear you) and be prepared to defend yourself if he becomes violent. Doesn’t matter how old he is or his relation to you. Sexual assault is sexual assault and no one deserves that.

  8. June 20, 2019

    I know a man living church lane st.joe doh he was in his 60’s he claim to be 16 he left his nice wife for a teennage girl from dublanc had a daughter and she was around 14.15 he use to put her on him to teach her to drive but he now in his 80 by now but his a child molester..dat same man use to go up for elevtion on a freedom ticket but now his captain labour today to big up his dirty ego….they not senile

    • DA Nation
      June 21, 2019

      Now mr is a pedophile 8-O but dem woman need to cover up more

  9. Know Better Do Better
    June 20, 2019

    This abominable transgressive act by your grandfather is both abusive and incestuous. The old geezer’s destructive behavior is most likely generational and must be exposed and stopped before he moves on to target your children and the next generation.

    Dementia or not, the old scoundrel is exhibiting behavior that is driven by an evil internal spiritual flaw. Pray for The Most High to guide you in the right action to take in order to secure your safety and well being.

    Flee from that toxic environment where family members refuse to believe you or are not concerned about the serious long-term threat to your well-being.

    It appears that those who are supposed to love and protect you have failed miserably and are living in denial. Make your way out from among them and into to a safe haven now!

  10. Maybe
    June 20, 2019

    Take him to be tested tell him you spending the day with him and take him to the dr

  11. DA Nation
    June 20, 2019

    Allu woman does really over do it on de dressing nowadays, I blaming u self, wats wrong with women nowadays, shame on you! Shame shame shame! :roll: Have you all no sense of decency?

    • Stupes
      June 21, 2019

      First of all it doesn’t matter how a woman is dressed. If a man is a pervert he’s going to make advances no matter how a woman is dressed. I was fully dressed when my great uncle decided to grope me. I was 13 years old.

    • DA Girl
      June 21, 2019

      Ok explain why they go after innocent children, babies. Explain why rape existed in a time when women wore 6 layers of clothing. STOP MAKING EXCUSES!!!! Dirty old man. Dementia or not that tendency has been there. And for it to exist in a person who has dementia means that that person had those tendencies before. Shame on that family. It may also mean that he made passes at them too or maybe even molested them, and they covered it up because they were ashamed. And they shouldn’t be. It should have been dealt with long ago. These things needs to stop!

  12. Gouvelma
    June 20, 2019

    If it is confirmed that he is collective then he is a sick old devil who needs to be put away. If he is fading and losing it then he deserves all the care and attention possible. So before we crucify him lets make sure he is not the devil but rather a sick man.

  13. kermit
    June 20, 2019

    Honestly I just read the headline I cannot read that. Girl go to the police or slap his dentures out his mouth. Bad ways pervert.

  14. time has told
    June 20, 2019

    well maybe you should cover up more. not saying the old man is right, but as a young woman, maybe even an aspiring young lady, walking around the house naked or half naked especially when there are males there is not acceptable. Just because it is where you live, you need to have more respect for yourself being in their presence like that. my point is, try not to make the situation worse by exposing yourself, just because you are your home. you dont live alone. you know how the vibes rolling already,

    • Thought I Heard It All
      June 20, 2019

      Time has told, your comments are those of a low down, dirty slum dog who feels that it is ok to blame the victim. Your words speak volume about who and what you are.

      • time has told
        June 21, 2019

        Im not blaming the victim. Im urging the victim to take steps that may prevent further advances. Cover up yourself in a decent manner as a young lady. Yes you are at your home but you dont live alone. Especially as you know your grandfather is a pervert. when you get your own place or after grand daddy dies you can walk around naked or half naked. Until then, cover up for your own well being. All the old man have to do is act crazy and the court will let him go. so save yourself the drama and cover up and avoid the old man if you cannot find another place for you or him to live. You will say she has a right to walk around exposed. Maybe she does have that right. but you see what happens when she does. And yes the old man is wrong, worse if is your grand father. Your comment is merely an assumption based on your own perception. read between the times, i dont have to spell it out for you buddy.

        • Anonymous
          June 23, 2019

          “Time has told”, you are victim blaming in this instance. Where in the young lady’s story does she say that she is prancing around naked or half naked in her home?

          You made that assumption and went ahead and berated the young lady for her grandfather’s illegal behavior. Shame on you and anyone who is sympathetic to this point of view.

          Have that duty old man arrested. Period!

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