I am having a problem. I have been married for over 13 years and I am having a problem with my husband.
I went on a program and I spent a year and a half and when I came back home, only to find out he’s with a woman not too far from where we are living.
Her mom died and he’s the one bringing her and the family everywhere and when I talk to him about it, he said the woman was a friend and he’s doing it for her.
Bella, every night he’s out he’s working in the country and he brings her with him and when he’s around her he tells me anything. That is disrespectful.
Each time we talk about starting over, he agrees and then goes right back to it.
When I talk to him, he told me that he’s doing what makes him happy so I must do what makes me happy.
I am tired of the disrespectful things that he told me and plus brings her in the car that we both bought together.
When I told him, he said he can bring anybody that he wants in it.
Please help thank you
Dear Please Help,
Clearly, the man you are married to is on his own mission and that doesn’t include you anymore. At least not right now.
I know how hard it is for you; well, I have an idea because reading this letter was very painful and disturbing to me.
I don’t know what led to this disrespect and resentment towards you by your husband.
People say absence makes the heart [grow] fonder and I’ve heard people say it also makes the heart go a wander too.
You claimed this started happening after you left for a year and a half when you traveled to do a program.
Your husband perhaps got close to your neighbor during that period and this is in no way justifying his brazen behavior and lack of love towards you.
I don’t know if it’s even healthy to remain in a relationship or marriage under these stressful circumstances.
Old folks say when people get married, it’s for better or worse. And this could be your worst so staying in it is mandatory. I don’t agree.
Your husband should not be allowed to treat you like this while you remain a loyal wife.
You asked for my help. I’m telling you to leave him alone. You may even want to ask him to leave the house until he is ready to be a man and reconcile.
If he won’t listen to you, I’m almost certain he won’t listen to the elders or even his family
A grown man already knows what he wants. In your husband’s case, he wants to have a wife and an ‘outside woman’.
Don’t allow your husband to continue to disrespect you like that. Walking away from a bad situation is not a sin. Maybe he will wake up one day, or maybe not. Whichever way, YOUR life and sanity are important.
Obviously, if you leave your life in his hands, you won’t survive it.
Take your life back and walk away from this man until he decides to change his wickedness