I have been dating a guy from the countryside for 7 years now. When I met him, I had just ended a really bad relationship and left with a child to take care of alone. He honestly helped me to move on. At first, he kept saying he doesn’t want a girlfriend; he wants a wife. That made me feel so much better because I honestly wanted a husband and still do.
He built a nice home and I moved in with him. I work and he also has a job. He also does farm work on the side. I really love and appreciate him and how hard he works.
I got pregnant and we have a daughter whom we love so much. So now we have two children at home. I am not complaining because he is a great man but it seems to me, he forgot about the marriage thing. That was seven years ago.
Every birthday, Valentines, Christmas, I look forward to a ring. Nothing up till now. And every time I ask about it, he says we don’t need to rush. Me waiting 7 years is surely not rushing. It’s almost like the man was just comfortable and forgot about the marriage.
I am so embarrassed when my friends ask me when the wedding is. My parents are also asking.
It’s also starting to affect our relationship because it’s always at the back of my mind and I’m always thinking about how I can bring it up with him or get him interested in it. Surely it shouldn’t be this hard – it’s so unromantic.
I am giving him the end of this year and if he stalls then I am leaving him.
What are your views Bella?
Need a Husband
Hello Need a Husband,
You shouldn’t feel so embarrassed but I understand how you feel because situations like these can cause you a lot of stress indeed.
The marriage thing has become an elephant in the room and of course it’s not healthy for your relationship.
I honestly believe that you should have a serious conversation about your relationship as a whole instead of waiting to end it at the end of the year.
Be frank with your man. Be stern and be very honest. You need to ask him how committed he is; ask him what’s stopping him from wanting to marry you, and ask him if he realizes how unhappy the whole thing is making you feel.
This might be very scary for you because perhaps you may not like the answers you receive but hey, it’s necessary if you’re going to move forward.
Of course, you can’t – and shouldn’t want to – force your partner into marriage, but you do deserve some honest answers. You deserve the right to know.
It is only after this attempt that you should decide what is best for you and the future of your children.
All the Best,