DEAR BELLA: Should I report my son’s father for failing to provide child support?

Dear Bella,

My son’s dad migrated to the US about five years ago. We are no longer together, however, he and I have always had a good relationship.

He promised when he settled down, he would continue to take care of his son but Bella, it’s been years and he is settled alright.

He is now married; lives with his wife and her three children and he isn’t sending money for his son.

Whenever I contact him, he would say he has bills, his mortgage, his car and his new family.

I see him on Facebook all the time. Buying birthday gifts for his wife and children and posting them. His vehicle is very fancy and he dines at expensive restaurants.

I have no issues with him trying to live the American life, but he needs to remember the GWAHYAE (hard times) he left back in Dominica.

All I ask is for 150 USD a month. That can barely take care of much in DA but MAGWAY SAH, remember the little boy you left back home.

I am thinking of calling child services on him. What do you think?

 

Troubled Mother

 


 

Troubled Mother,

These situations are always very tough. I say this because a man should not have to be forced into taking care of his own child. Nevertheless, you must do what is necessary to obtain child support.

Before exploring your legal options, perhaps you can try speaking with him one more time. Use the opportunity to remind him of the implications of neglecting his child.

These situations could have long term effects on the child, for instance. Supporting a child is not just about financial aid. Children need their parents, especially their father, who is supposed to be the head of the home.

Some women have done a great job being a single parent but when you hear the stories, it was very difficult

I know a lot of women who would rather just leave the matter alone and others who would be determined to get that father to own up to his responsibilities.

Whichever one you decide is not wrong. I believe it is a matter of choice. Look at the options, examine everything carefully before you make a final decision.

 

Bella

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11 Comments

  1. RR
    October 26, 2021

    Wish you luck can bearly collect here don’t see how you’re going to do that from the USA just a dream hope you wake up soon.

  2. Waiting For Airport
    October 25, 2021

    You cannot afford to take care of him so send the man son and live with him. In his own house he can take care of him… but to have a whole seperate outside responsibility to take care of plus your imediate family (mortgage, car, groceries etc) not ideal. Especially when you have no guarantees that the woman is trully spending your money on the child – we know how all you woman be already.

    Young ladies have to start securing families, marriage etc before the decide to have child for a man. Stop putting all you self in these positions, because even if the man start to pay the 150USD you will still be struggling. The PC arguments ‘he dead beat, his responsibility’ etc sound strong in writing on social media, but in reality, unless you have a family, you struggling! And more importantly, your son/daughter need parents (mom & dad) not a mom and financial support!

  3. We the People
    October 24, 2021

    Darling do me a favour please, report his as.s!!

  4. Hmm
    October 23, 2021

    If I were her I’d even bring his wife into it. I don’t know how some woman can comfortably be with a man that neglecting his children that come before hers. Same thing can happen to her.

    Report him self, but since he posting so much on Facebook he clearly cares more about his image and what people think of him. Hit him where it hurts if neither him nor the wife will listen.

  5. Skerro
    October 22, 2021

    Take him to court and let them send the court papers to the USA believe he will have to pay more than the 150 the mawat

  6. Bwa-Banday
    October 22, 2021

    I have always said that no man should be brought to court to support his child. Now some women especially in Dca does give man botins (child that’s not theirs) and that is very very very common in Dca. That is why most men does quietly walk away and leave them in their zafeer. Having said that, you should not put child protective service on the man if you don’t have DNA evidence. Maybe the man well know that and he ducking you.

    On another note, I believe is because you see the man having a decent life with a happy family on Facebook and he stop sending barrel for you that make you vex. If you did not see him on FB showing off you would well stay in your corner but noooo is man he man so now you want to take him down…..smmfh! Good luck but stop being a darn hater. Maybe if you stop being such a hater he will send for you and the child as soon as he get his papers.

    • Frank N Stein
      October 25, 2021

      I suspect is your child, thou protest too loudly

    • Concerned Citizen
      October 25, 2021

      This situation isn’t funny but this comment have me dyingggg 🤣🤣🤣🤣 you cannot be serious gasah

    • October 26, 2021

      You sound very foolish. Have you ever heard the saying, if you can’t say something good, do not say anything at all? You sounded better before you opened your mouth.

  7. Weighing All Matters
    October 22, 2021

    The decision is yours and yours alone to make; however, both of you are responsible for the well being and upbrininging of your minor children.

    Though your son’s father now has other children to care for, he is still on the hook for providing financial for your his son.

  8. Ebony
    October 22, 2021

    Report him self, these man too damn dirty!!!!

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