My mother is getting close to my boyfriend

I just wanted an opinion on this. I think you might laugh and saying I am bit stupid if not paranoid but my mother is getting to close to my boyfriend.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years now. When I first introduced him to my family, my mother showed very little interest. But that began changing and within the past four to five months, its like she is all over him. whenever he comes at home she treats him really nice, sits next to him, serve him drinks and stuff like a king and so on.

Now I never thought anything. As a matter of fact at first I liked the idea and was hoping she was ‘warming up’ to our relationship. But it is getting worse, she even calls him numerous times when we are out.

I haven’t spoken to any of them about this because I think they might beleive I am being stupid an immature. But it is really bothering me.

What do you think?

Paranoid?

Dear Paranoid?

I don’t think you are being paranoid. You are just trying to figure out something that appears rather strange to you.

I think you should mention this to your boyfriend and let him know how you feel about the whole matter. I think by now you two should have developed a relationship where it is comfortable to share feelings and thoughts and the like.

But on the other hand you don’t want to alienate you mother. However she need to realize there are boundaries that is to be respected. And you need to talk to her also.

Bella

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44 Comments

  1. Sandra Notmi
    May 17, 2018

    You are seeing what you are seeing. I used to be so close to my mother but it took finally bringing home my boyfriend & last boyfriend to see who she really is. I am transgender so I would have never thought she’d try competing with me. When he first moved here, she began to wear blouses so low cut, you could see her underboobs & sometimes they hardly covered the nipple. She would make offhand remarks like ” loving the ingredient of young coconut ” in her drink or insinuating that she’s the time to sneak around in the night to have an affair when watching a movie with my family. She was always telling me how handsome she thought he was. Get giggly when he’s around, screaming when watching documentaries about animals just to get his attention. When she’d see me all she talked about was him, not even me. My Mom is not who I thought she was. She’s a bit of a ho to be honest & I hate to say that about my own mother. You’re not seeing things. Some moms compete with their own…

    • Sandra Notmi
      May 17, 2018

      that she is the type* to sneak around at night

  2. Debra Barker
    November 14, 2017

    Long story short. Don’t trust that birch, don’t trust him either. Get yourself a new man. Nothing happened with my bf and my mom but it would have had I not started standing my ground. Had if not been for the circumstances that involved needing my bf for our court cases in which we were also held hostage, if have dumped his …. You deserve bettwe. If my circumstances were different when things were as bad as they were I would ha e done it. Good guys don’t talk about your mom to you like you’re their wing man

  3. Debra Barker
    November 14, 2017

    Oh, I believe you. My Mom did the same thing to me & I am trans. Never expected this, we always had a good relationship. When my bf moved in with us from across the country, she changed. This is not counting the affair/s She had behind my dad’s back she had a few years ago & had me cover for her knowing much I rely on her for everything. She started wearing super low glut houses, I mean you could see the whole underboob, even caught her pulling her blouses down to show more cleavage & one time pretending to drop an ice cube in her blouse so she could pull her blouse our 7 inches to give us a full look. He caught on to her teasing & began to feed in to it, began giving her attention & even saying she was hot twice in a day. I was going to break up with him but he got his was kicked royally at a party & required surgery. I took care of him night & day through two surgeries, even after all that happenes. It took feeling my mom that I told my therapist ‘ll of her behavior.

  4. May 13, 2013

    I exactly know how u feel.the truth is my mother did the same thing to my boyfriend.she is worse,she tries to seduce him,she tried all means to be with my boyfriend.likely my boyfriend is faithful with me and told me everything from the beginning.and than i caught her red handed with my boyfriend’s help.i was shocked as you are.so you have every right to be suspicious.

  5. MADNESS!
    November 16, 2011

    Girl ur man sexin ur moda on ur head!!! go an drink to vodca, go an sleep den wake up an go to the club to free upp!!!

  6. September 11, 2011

    dear paranoid i would hve thought that maybe the way u treated your man when he is around was not what your mom has expected from you.. maybe she thought that u should treat him wit a drink when he comes over and seat by him have a nice chat so shes feeling in for u so he wont be bored an all…though instead of doing it she could point it out to you instead… but as for the calling when u all are out …that shit is crazy mother or not you have to explain to me y are u calling my boyfriend. she has no respect for you girl and if theres something intimate going on between them ….u should know been two years you should have past the test on him already if you know what i mean the first 3-6 months of dating its a most to get to know that person you get to know the good the bad and the ugly in him if he past the test then his a keeper and should be hearing wedding bells in about two years or less maybe more weddings are expensive those days lolz if not you move on all in speak to them before its tooo damn late n she kick u out n let him in

  7. SUNNY21
    September 10, 2011

    U DID NOT MENTION YOUR MAN AGE, IS HE CLOSER TOYOUR MOM AGE, MAYBE SHE BEING NICE CAUSE SHE WANTS YOU GUYS TO GET MARRIED. NOT SURE WHAT IS GOING ON BUT YOU NEED TO DISCUSS YOUR FEELINGS WITH BOTH OF THEM, DONT ACCUSE ANY ONE, JUST FAMILY TALK, CALM AND PLEASE DO NOT RAISE YOUR VOICE, SHE IS YOUR MOM.

  8. Truth
    September 9, 2011

    See no evil
    Hear no evil
    Speak no evil :twisted:

  9. Woodfordhill girl
    September 8, 2011

    Next time your mom calls your boyfriend you answer the phone and keep doing that every time or send it to voicemail she’ll at least stop calling.

  10. Anonymous
    September 7, 2011

    wow dominican ‘s are still talking like litle preschoolers. the girl has a problem and came for help, come on man. my dear yr mom is yr mom got to respect her, but yet she got to respect you and stay in her place. as someone said u need to find out more, try to stay cool, it doesn t matter if she wants him, but the problem will be if her agrees. so u should talk to her whyle its early. good luck

    • pusina
      September 12, 2011

      Puss you talking like you a Largon Ti Sal Vemine yourself. So your point

  11. pusina
    September 7, 2011

    WHOSE WELL DE MOTHER IS A TI SAL.

  12. Muslim_Always
    September 7, 2011

    The relationship is an illegitimate one from the start. It is null and void!

    Both the girl and her mother have no rights and no say in this affair.

    And young lady, don’t be haste about things like that, make sure you have concrete evidence before you end up accusing your mother falsely. Be wise before you sever the relations between the two of you. Honor your mother that the days be extended upon the earth.

    • Woodfordhill girl
      September 8, 2011

      Muslim, who said she was acusing her mother? she’s expressing concern about an observation she made,secondly in which book does it teach that it is immoral to have a boyfriend? you might want to first establish the fact that she is fornicating although that might be the case,however one is allowed to have a boy/girlfriend before marriage without bieng immoral that’s all i’m saying!!

      • Woodfordhill girl
        September 12, 2011

        ooops sorry I meant being

    • Naturegrl
      September 8, 2011

      But wait in wat era is muslim living in? No one is debating the legitimacy of the relationship.
      She isnt acting in haste either. Muslim it seems like u need to read n re-read b4 u comment.

  13. Justice and Truth
    September 6, 2011

    We cannot say that her mother is having an affair with her boyfriend. She is suspicious of her mother’s attitude and has every right to be. Her instinct informs her that her mother likes him.
    Young lady, you have been dating this man for two years. If you are old enough to date and go out with him, do you not think that you both should be making plans to get married? What are you waiting for and what is holding both of you back? You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your boyfriend about this and also about your mother.
    You could broach the subject with your mother in as kind a manner as you possibly could. Say to her, “Mom (or whatever you call her), do you like/have feelings for my boyfriend?” :) Tell her how you feel. DO not accuse her. Respect her. Keep in mind she is your mother and always will.
    You may not have considered this but it is worth a try to clear the air, so-to-speak about the situation one way or the other. If you do, note her reaction. Yes! You may have to move out.
    Do not allow this situation of your feeling about your mother to continue for it will not make you happy.

  14. the_1
    September 6, 2011

    gyal ya mom is or wants to pass d pum pum pon ya man… its all good … keep it in d family… hahaha

    • Woodfordhill girl
      September 8, 2011

      @ the-1 shut up you just nasty!!

  15. Ice
    September 6, 2011

    Yeah something don’t feel right. This has been happening over the past 5 months I don’t think you are paranoid. Your mom has feelings for your man and she needs to excercise some self control and at least have some boundary. Eww

  16. Gaza
    September 6, 2011

    hell of a scenario wow… your mamie need some hard board to cool her down.

  17. Ehh?
    September 6, 2011

    Put mami and boyfriend in their places.

    End of story.

  18. wtf
    September 6, 2011

    your mom has been introduceed to what you been getting and she jus wants to kerp the fire going. who knows maybe she hasn’t had a man in a long tym.

  19. love to give
    September 6, 2011

    your mother is being nice to the guy,dont over react

  20. Amber
    September 6, 2011

    it is clear to see that she wants your man, maybe she thinks someone gave her the green light so shes proceeding. She needs to give u all a break and back off and the best person to tell her is you! perhaps you could even ask your bf what exactly it is they speak about to give you a clue so u dont have to feel uncomfortable voicing your concerns! observe him closely while doing so;
    facial expressions tell alot!

  21. September 6, 2011

    Dear Paranoid you been going with your boyfriend for two years and think by this time you shouild know your boyfriend well enough to know if he is cheating on you and dont think you are telling the true story.
    The reason why you are Paranoid is because you know your mother is going with your man and you are embarassed to tell any one thinking they will laugh at you
    The man must feel on top of the world having mother and daughter and dont know who to choose and think you have problem with your mother over this man so dont play the vergin mary.
    The man will surely have to decide between you or your mother and you are not sure who he will have and this your problem,Remember its your mother who treat him like a King and ringing him all hours of the day and cooking him food that is like angels food to sweten his heart while you are jelous with paranoia.
    Count it a blessing in disguise and call it a day with this man,he will do the same with your mother the next woman he meet and it will be your mother crying to you to forgive her.This man is a rat and he will get caught in a trap by another woman in the future and you will have the last laugh and peace of mind.learning from this panoria at present.

  22. .
    September 6, 2011

    Does your mother have her own man? If she does and she’s running after yours she has a problem that YOU need to deal with.
    When she calls your bf how does he react? Does he pull himself away to converse with her?
    Does your bf call your mother?
    Do more investigations before you jump to conculsions.

  23. ineedfree
    September 6, 2011

    some women behave like beasts; they are their own enemies and whatever they do to other women always come back to haunt them.

    Some of them chase men(married and all) without shame.

    When it comes to catching a man, all dignity is gone to the trash.

    If your mother is one of them, our advice to you is learn from her mistakes so your coming generation dont feel the sting of immorality like we are feeling in these times.

    If you can help your boyfriend dont stop trying, he might just be a Christman.

    Pray ceasely and stay chaste

    All the best

    • STUPES...
      September 6, 2011

      why so bitter? what happen someone was chasing ur husband man o_O 8-O :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen: wooooooosh!!!

    • September 11, 2011

      it takes two to tango…..treating him nice is harmless i dont see any thing wrong in that, the calling is alarming and the guy should not allow it. the mother is not the only one at fault.some mothers really do stoop too low

  24. 1979
    September 6, 2011

    SWEETIE that’s why people who are grown enough to have relationships should take the initiative and get their own place…u bringing the fresh stock in mamie foot, u dont know is that that will happen….get your own place girl…so mamie wont get hot when she hear allu stressing the bed.

  25. fatty batty
    September 6, 2011

    so true @mouth of the south paranoid as u put it U LOSE ALL FOR ALL.

  26. fatty batty
    September 6, 2011

    well my dear paranoid after reading your story you should put a stop MAMA WANTS THE MAN.talk to mama and talk to ur man,BEFORE THING GETS GOING.

  27. Mohamed George Bush
    September 6, 2011

    girl you mamie looking at her next catch. if mamie sexy again woooosh. young toltol

  28. Anonymous
    September 6, 2011

    Just do tht three some mane. Mother and daughter together is the best

    • Justice and Truth
      September 6, 2011

      @ Anonymous

      You are such a disrespectful person who has no regard for anyone. Note how many thumbs down you got and for good reasons. Keep your polluted opinions to yourself and keep quiet! :twisted: I state this respectfully.

    • Woodfordhill girl
      September 8, 2011

      @annonymous you need prayer seriously SMH she’s asking for advice not trash,so take your trash out!!

    • MADNESS!
      November 16, 2011

      it mus be kix u taking! u cya be serious! lmao

  29. mouth of the south
    September 6, 2011

    wow!!!!! lol…. well the young woman needs help…. i think it’s best to talk to ur b.f about it… and if it continues which seem to be no fault of his… then u must kindly or in a jokingly fashion ask ur mother why do she always call ur b.f phone etc… let her know u don’t feel good about it… and all the other examples u gave bella… it’s obvious grown women prefer young men… i think grown women are sweeter than young women.. not my fault just from experience… their ‘knowledge’ has sure given them all the artillery to send those young girls to kick rocks by the bay…. when i say grown am talking bout 35 to 55 years old women…. don’t get offended at 35 u are no longer a teenager babes… if u get wat i mean… and this is the years when most women are ‘in prime’… don’t believe me??? so really ur b.f could even observe it himself.. as a man i understand how he feels… cause i’d feel funny telling u about ur mother getting ‘close’ to me also… i’d just let it play off slowly… but sweetie if ur mom within such age group and she decides she want ur b.f… if he’s not strong and he ever ever ever get a taste… u lose all for all…

  30. islandgyal
    September 6, 2011

    Ur mother and ur boyfried are having an affair ok….deal with it!! REAL REAL TALK………

    • Woodfordhill girl
      September 8, 2011

      OH great you just helped her hooray!!

  31. real possie
    September 6, 2011

    mamy just trying to help u out in all ways ah let her cut her own rope.

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