DEAR BELLA: I’ve been waiting 4 years for my lover to divorce his wife

Dear Bella,


I have been waiting for 4 years, two months and three days for my lover to leave his wife.

I don’t understand what’s taking him so long. I know they don’t have anything but a living arrangement.

The reason I believe that, is because he would call me at any time and I would see him as often as I want.

The only problem is that he promised that by now he would have been a free man and we could move the relationship a step further.

I have decided to give it until the end of the year for him to move out and get a divorce.

Bella, tell me, do you think I am being unrealistic? Or should I give him more time?

His children are already adults so it won’t affect their family life. I don’t mind waiting a little while longer but not too long. I love him a lot and I need more of him.

What should I do?




Dear Waiting,

To be quite honest, I don’t even know how to begin the response to this message. I believe you may have to wait for the rest of your life for the divorce. You stand a better chance at moving on with your life.

If a man wants to leave his wife, nothing can make him stay. Four years is enough time for someone to make up their mind.

Clearly, you are wasting some good years of your life, if you believe a divorce will happen any time soon.

Some women choose to accept that they are a mistress and adapt to their situation.

You, however, don’t seem to be the ‘adapting’ type and are seeking more from your lover who has to share himself with his legal partner and God knows who else.

All the best.



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  1. Telly
    May 27, 2023

    What school did u go to my girl and what did your mother teach you about men?

  2. Sweet Sixteen
    November 30, 2021

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Gasa look jokes….i cannot stop laughing!!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0
  3. Bwa-Banday
    November 29, 2021

    You see, all along you knew he was married but you playing big bowtia and talking about giving four years :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: ebeh look torie in Dca! My girl a golden “private island filled with honey” you have down there man? The man eh even leave his his wife yet you playing wife and even giving time? PAH-LEEZ! Number one the man not going to walk off like an idiot and loose everything just to please you because ALL women are the same. They go to the same damn school of “I Better Than Her!”

    That man would be a complete Jah-ah-kass to leave one marriage and jump back in one or move in house with another woman. I am sure his mama and sisters already warn him. So, stay in your quarters and keep playing wife because there is no other marriage for the foreseable future for my boy. Love him, enjoy him, call him but please don’t expect anything more from him. If you can’t wait LEAVE!

  4. Same issue
    November 29, 2021

    Forget him and move on..if he had to leave…. he would have already

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
  5. Creamer
    November 29, 2021

    May your desire be for God and not the lady’s husband. Seek God and in due time he will connect you to a man.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 16 Thumb down 0
  6. Da Girl
    November 27, 2021

    :lol: :lol: :lol: My girl you not easy lmfaoo. I just like Bella, don’t even know how to girl check your scene. Leave the woman husband alone. CLEARLY he doesn’t want you enough to divorce his wife – after FOUR YEARS. He says it’s just a living arrangement but this is obviously not the case. Worse again, you say his children are grown…so definitely not the children keeping him there, so there has to be something or SOMEONE he is interested in who is keeping him there.

    Like Bella said, stop wasting your life, stop wasting your youth on someone you have no future with.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0
  7. Deep thinker
    November 27, 2021

    I like that response Bella. Surely this man does not really want to leave his wife. He might be just fooling you. It is time to wake up and stop deceiving yourself. Your prince charming might be just there waiting for you to have eyes for him.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
  8. Breathe
    November 26, 2021

    You can wait some more years. 4 not enough

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0
  9. Weighing All Matters
    November 26, 2021

    Dear Waiting, you might as well wait for the cow to jump over the moon or for hell to freeze over. Your gross selfishness has blinded you to the sad reality that your lover prefers to have his cake and eat it too. Though he may not value his wife or marriage enough to stop his cheating ways, he appears to be fully aware that it is cheaper to keep her.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 0
  10. Man bite dogs
    November 26, 2021

    So what the hell you sort your bag of coal dust out yourself, there is Covid-19 plus ugly Lenny, which is worse? no one knows but hell, having said that! My simple solutions are stopped complaining or find yourself a single man.

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