![\"Dear](\"http:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/new-dear-bella-thumbnail.png\")
Dear Bella,<\/p>\nDear Bella,<\/p>\n
I am a 19 year old mature woman. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years.\u00a0We have a very good relationship. we share everything. he is very good to me, in other words he is a perfect boyfriend.\u00a0He takes care of me in all ways possible. We are both employed and living together. We share everything.<\/p>\n
Over the new years I found some messages on my boyfriends facebook. he is flirting with other girls. In one of the messages he asked\u00a0a young lady to have sex. I was so hurt. I immediately confronted him and he confessed to flirting but claims he has never cheated on me.<\/p>\n
I cannot see myself living without him. He is my only friend, I have no relationship with my family and he is the only one who is there for me when i need to talk or when I am feeling lonely. He claims he has no interest in other girls, he was just bored when he messaged the young lady since he knew she was interested in him. He even called her and spoke to her in my present clearing up that nothing happened between them. However I am still not sure if he has cheated on me.<\/p>\n
I am confused and hurt. I love him a lot and want to be with him but do not want to be with a cheater.<\/p>\n
Confused<\/strong><\/p>\n …………………………………………………………………………………………………<\/p>\n\nDear Confused,<\/div>\n<\/div>\nYou need to spend some time jotting down things about you. \u00a0Who you are: your job\/career, your “religious background”, your place in a family- sister, mother…; What you are: this is basically a list of your hobbies- I ride bikes; How you are: how did you end up in the “who” and “what” categories.<\/div>\n<\/div>\nThis little exercise serves to highlight to you that you were not the only one involved in who you turned out to be in life. \u00a0There is something wrong when you do not have any friends except for your lover. \u00a0I do not know the young man’s heart so I cannot say that he does not genuinely love you, however I would deduce that you have positioned yourself as his pity project. \u00a0You should not have yourself in the situation where he is your only friend. \u00a0He will stay with you out of pity (if he is fed up with this relationship); he can also connive and have additional relationship and still remain with you because he is sorry for you.<\/div>\n<\/div>\nYou need to build some healthy friendships and please do not go seeking to make your man’s friends your friends. \u00a0You need to nurture these new relationships by going out with your friends and visiting their homes and having them visit you. \u00a0Whether or not your man is cheating on you, that is something beyond your control. \u00a0What you can do is build up yourself and realize the importance of having friendships around you.<\/div>\n<\/div>\nOne of the things that I have learnt in life: let your man complement you, not supplement you.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Dear Bella, I am a 19 year old mature woman. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years.\u00a0We have a very good relationship. we share everything. he is very good to me, in other words he is a perfect…","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cbd_carousel_blocks":"[]","footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-110047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dear-bella"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n