{"id":122662,"date":"2014-08-25T00:58:44","date_gmt":"2014-08-25T04:58:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/?p=122662"},"modified":"2014-08-25T01:01:51","modified_gmt":"2014-08-25T05:01:51","slug":"vows-holy-covenant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/homepage\/features\/commentary\/vows-holy-covenant\/","title":{"rendered":"The vows (Holy Covenant)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"vows\u201cJane\/John wilt thou have this man\/woman to be thy wedded husband\/wife to live together after God\u2019s ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love him\/her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto him\/her, so long as ye both shall live? (“I will”)
\n<\/em>
\nThen repeat after me:\u00a0\u00a0“I, Jane\/John take thee John\/Jane\u00a0\u00a0to be my husband\/ wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better \u2013 for worse, for richer \u2013 for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, and thereto I pledge thee my faith.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Kindly place the ring on John\u2019s\/Jane\u2019s finger and repeat after me:\u00a0“In token and pledge of the vow between us made, with this ring I thee wed; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Receive this ring as a token of wedded love and faith. Amen.<\/em><\/p>\n

Sounds familiar?\u00a0\u00a0How long ago did you make that covenant? Was it few months ago or a few years ago or a decade ago or more? The abovementioned is not just some words you say to each other. Those words are the holy covenant which you and your husband\/wife made before God. They signal a serious commitment to each other in the eyes of God and your invited guests and therefore they should not to be taken lightly.<\/p>\n

Many couples in preparation for their wedding day invite hundreds of guests and spend huge sums of money in preparation for the wedding but while this is just the ceremony, after those vows have been said then the marriage begins. The wearing of rings is a constant reminder that you have made that commitment to each other and that other persons should stay clear.<\/p>\n

People get married for various reasons such as:-<\/p>\n

Love<\/p>\n

Greencard (migration)<\/p>\n

Companionship<\/p>\n

Family pressure<\/p>\n

Financial security<\/p>\n

Security for children or<\/p>\n

Getting older<\/p>\n

The Bible is very strict on divorce. Malachi 2:16 states \u201cFor the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce.\u201d Further in Matthew 19:9 God gave only one reason for you to divorce your spouse and marry another i.e. sexual immorality. Divorce ends a marriage.\u00a0\u00a0Therefore whether one looks at marriages and divorces from a biblical or legal perspective \u2026whatever the reason for marrying, the laws of the land do not treat marriages lightly. If you want to be divorced from your spouse you have to be married for at least\u00a0one year.\u00a0<\/strong>This means that after a few days, weeks or months you cannot just decide that you want a divorce. You cannot jump in and jump out. You cannot just say\u00a0I\u2019m fed up with Mr\/ Mamselle<\/em>\u00a0and decide to divorce your spouse. You must wait for that year to pass and even then you have to get permission from the court to apply for that divorce and in the application you have to prove that you will suffer exceptional hardship if the court does give you permission to divorce your spouse.<\/p>\n

Further if the Court does not grant you permission then you will have to wait an additional two years to file divorce proceedings because after three years of marriage you do not need the permission of the court to do so.<\/p>\n

Often you would hear spouses say \u2018I\u2019m not giving him\/her a divorce\u201d\u00a0<\/em>or \u201che\/she say she\u2019s not giving me a divorce<\/em>.\u201d But in Dominica you do not need your spouse\u2019s permission to get a divorce granted to you. What you have to do is to satisfy the court that you have grounds to end your marriage.<\/p>\n

The grounds are:-<\/p>\n

(a)\u00a0\u00a0Unreasonable behaviour.<\/strong>\u00a0Your marriage has broken down irretrievably meaning that it cannot be fixed. Here you must prove to the court that the behaviour of your spouse is unreasonable in that you are the subject of verbal and or physical abuse, drunkenness or illegal drug usage and or that he\/she does not provide the necessities for the matrimonial home<\/p>\n

(b)\u00a0\u00a0Two years living apart with consent<\/strong>. Here you must prove that you and your spouse have been living separate and apart for 2 years and your spouse has signed a document indicating that he\/she consents to the divorce being granted to you.<\/p>\n

(c)\u00a0\u00a0Desertion<\/strong>. Here you must prove that your spouse has deserted you for a continuous period of 2 years in that he\/she has moved out for two years or more without your consent and for no good reason.<\/p>\n

(d)\u00a0Five years living apart, no consent needed<\/strong>. Here you have to show that you and your spouse have been living separate and apart a continuous period of at least 5 years immediately before you filed for divorce.<\/p>\n

(e)\u00a0\u00a0Adultery.<\/strong>\u00a0Here you have to prove that your husband\/wife had sexual intercourse with another person of the opposite sex and you find it intolerable to live with him\/her. If you remain with your spouse 6 months after you found out about the adultery you cannot use it as a ground for divorce.<\/p>\n

If you are unable to satisfy any of those requirements then the court would not grant you the divorce. Further, when the court hears the Petition for divorce the Judge grants what is called a decree nisi which is a provisional order indicating that the divorce was heard. This provisional order is conditional upon there being no intervention for at least 6 weeks before your marriage is completely over. The final paper is called the decree absolute. If the decree absolute is not applied for and obtained, then you are still married.<\/p>\n

If you the wife want to revert to your maiden name you can simply use the decree absolute document to change all documents which are on your married name like passport, bank account, social security card etc. However you are entitled to continue to use your married name if you so desire provided that you no longer represent yourself as being married to your ex- husband.<\/p>\n

At the time the court hears the petition for divorce it does\u00a0not<\/strong>\u00a0address issues such as custody of children, maintenance, sharing of finances and the matrimonial home. A separate hearing is convened to deal with those issues called ancillary relief proceedings. There you will give evidence about how the assets were acquired, what role you played in the marriage such as child- rearer, homemaker or working wife. The court in separating the assets must ensure that when the decision is given it has to be fair. In this regard the age of the parties, the length of the marriage, the lifestyle the parties had before the divorce, the number of children if any and several other important factors are taken into consideration.<\/p>\n

According to Irina Bahcivanji\u00a0\u201cThe dissolution of a marriage is a legal act that may not always coincide with a couple’s emotional tearing asunder. Divorce is typically a painful process for all concerned. While it can take adults time to regain psychological equilibrium, whether or not children ever recover a stable perspective continues to be debated. Post-divorce hostility between adults, in addition to directly harming kids, is a sure indicator that the emotional split is incomplete<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Clearly if both spouses take their vows seriously then there would be no need to divorce.\u00a0\u00a0However if you decide to get a divorce then hopefully you will not regret it. Getting a divorce can be a very emotional and distressing time for some spouses and sadly there is a tendency to feel a great deal of hostility and bitterness towards each other. This is most evident when one spouse is ordered to pay maintenance to the other or to give up his\/her share of the assets acquired during the marriage to the other.<\/p>\n

It is hoped that many married couples do not have to go through the process of divorce but if you do then hopefully after you have gone through the process you get the peace of mind and contentment you sought when you decided to take active steps to dissolve your marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u201cJane\/John wilt thou have this man\/woman to be thy wedded husband\/wife to live together after God\u2019s ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love him\/her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto…","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":122664,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cbd_carousel_blocks":"[]","footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-122662","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commentary"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe vows (Holy Covenant) - Dominica News Online<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/homepage\/features\/commentary\/vows-holy-covenant\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The vows (Holy Covenant) - Dominica News Online\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cJane\/John wilt thou have this man\/woman to be thy wedded husband\/wife to live together after God\u2019s ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? 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