{"id":168865,"date":"2016-09-13T08:30:28","date_gmt":"2016-09-13T12:30:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/?p=168865"},"modified":"2016-09-13T08:30:28","modified_gmt":"2016-09-13T12:30:28","slug":"business-life-giving-thanks-for-the-year-of-stop-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/homepage\/columns\/business-life\/business-life-giving-thanks-for-the-year-of-stop-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"BUSINESS &#038; LIFE: Giving Thanks for the \u201cYear of \u2018Stop\u2019!\u201d \u2013 Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_168602\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-168602\" style=\"width: 203px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-168602\" src=\"http:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Valda-Henry-PhD-203x300.jpg\" alt=\"Valda Henry PhD\" width=\"203\" height=\"300\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-168602\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Valda Henry PhD<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>This article is the one which has generated the most responses of all my articles. In the last week, I received many responses through emails, phone calls, WhatsApp and FB private messages and the few responses on DNO indicate how the article touched, inspired and encouraged them. I thank the respondents for their words of encouragement and pray God continues to reveal himself to them amidst the \u201cStop\u201d and the \u201cGo.\u201d This week, I present the second and final part of the article, \u201cGiving Thanks for the \u201cYear of \u2018Stop\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In mid-August 2016, I was talking to one of my goddaughters. She was distraught. She had plans to go to university to pursue her first degree and these plans fell through. She was depressed: her whole life was passing her by and she stood at a standstill, while all her friends were off embarking on their journeys of making something out of their lives. I could sense the despair and the tears in her heart. I listened. When she was through, I said to her, that she should not despair. This was her \u201cYear of Stop.\u201d A year to prepare better for her start of her university life: to allow her parents to secure the financing for her studies, to enable her to save more from her salary so she could assist with the expenses, to get to know herself more deeply and to become more secure in and with her person, so she won\u2019t compare herself with others; this was her year of preparation. I assured her that at 20, her life was not passing her by\u2026in fact, her whole life lay before her, that she should rejoice for and with her friends who had gone ahead and they going ahead was not going to prevent her from going in her time. She now had a chance to prepare anew; to close all the gaps to embrace her new beginning.<\/p>\n<p>I shared with her my own story\u2026Eleanor Phillip, was the first of our group of SIFOCOL Class of 1983 and our little subgroup of musketeers (Mrs. Francis called Eleanor, Diane Francis and I, the \u201cThree Musketeers. Helen Mellow became a close member of that group making us the \u201cFour Musketeers!\u201d) who left for university in July of 1985. I remember we were all just so happy for Eleanor and we did many things together, had long talks about our future that summer. We were optimistic that the world was just waiting for us to make our mark and we were ready! Eleanor was the trailblazer! I told her though I had applied to universities and for scholarships, there were no definite plans for me to go to study that year, however, I never despaired or felt life was passing me by, for I knew deep within my being, I would go to university and fulfill my life\u2019s purpose. I ended up going unexpectedly the October of that very year. Diane went in 1987, the year after she was crowned Miss Dominica 1986. Diane was very shy and many were surprised that she decided to participate in the Queen Pageant. She not only participated, she was outstanding and went on to win a few regional crowns. Helen Mellow chose to pursue a career in banking and later Human Resource Management. Life has a way of unfolding for us in unexpected ways, if we believe.<\/p>\n<p>I know that there may be a number of young people who feel like my goddaughter. They expect that as soon as they leave the Dominica State College or work for a year, their parents will or should send them to study. The expectations of every generation changes. In my time, the majority of us knew that we had to work for at least two years before heading out to universities, that unless our parents had property, we had to apply for scholarships. We knew and accepted that. My message is, please do not sink in despair. Use the \u201cYear of Stop\u201d to apply to new schools, apply for scholarships, find a job, if you don\u2019t have one; save more if you have a job; strengthen your work ethics (it will come in handy for student life); join a community, service or youth group; make new friends; discover Dominica, create happy and joyful memories for and with your family and friends.<\/p>\n<p>There are some of you experiencing the \u201cYear of Stop,\u201d with respect to your careers. You graduated from high school, college or university so full of promise, ready to contribute to your Nation and months and in some cases years later, a job, much less a career, is not on the horizon. Every application letter either goes unanswered or comes back with a \u201cno vacancy, application on file.\u201d You are depressed, you have lost hope. I say to you, keep hope alive: do some deep introspection, find your passion; what do you really, really love? What would you do even if you were not paid? Think of ways of income generation. Change the approach, write for an unpaid internship or a reduced pay internship. You may resist the idea because it is unpaid. Truth is, you are not being paid now, so you are losing nothing, aside from the costs of the bus-fare and that you can negotiate. If you prove yourself, this unpaid internship can turn into a job and a career. I know of a few people who started off their working life this way. Additionally, the knowledge, skills and competencies you learn are yours to keep and may provide the opportunity for a better tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p>There are some of you experiencing the \u201cYear of Stop,\u201d in your relationships. The relationship is no longer life-giving. It is no longer the wind allowing your wings to soar; it has become an anchor holding you down. It is robbing you of your joy. It is not self-affirming; it is self-denying. You are stressed and may even be getting sick. You can\u2019t see a way out of this dead relationship. You may be thinking of the children, finance, family, what people will say. Often times, in relationships that are no longer life-giving, communication between the parties is almost non-existent or ineffective; one\u2019s needs are not being met; there is no respect. This gives the chance to redefine what one wants from and the expectations of the relationship, to assess the probability that the relationship can provide what is wanted; to rebuild the bridge of communication; to forgive and truly start anew if the decision is to stay; to develop the courage and strength to walk on, if that is the decision. Whatever the decision, to pray it leads to a path of light, joy and fulfillment.<\/p>\n<p>Someone asked, \u201cwhile you dealt with a \u2018Health Stop,\u2019 what if that stop is terminal, how does one give thanks?\u201d I often say, death is the only promotion that many of us don\u2019t want for ourselves and loved ones. Terminal illness is one of the more difficult stops, however it gives us a chance to really get things right with our Maker, to inspire and leave a lasting legacy for others, especially our loved ones to follow. It gives us the opportunity to prepare them for our going, to truly live and make every moment of our lives count, to be gracious and bestow our final blessings on family and friends. I know several people, including close family and friends, who in the face of death or diagnosis of serious illness, who remain optimistic with a fighting and loving spirit, fully embracing life and its wonders. Caring for a sick loved one or coping with the death of a loved one also provides us the opportunity to get our priorities right, create beautiful and lasting memories and deepen our spiritual relationship with God.<\/p>\n<p>My advice, don\u2019t spend too much time fighting the \u201cStop.\u201d Just as the Stoplight, may save us from an accident and possibly death, the \u201cYear of Stop,\u201d may do just that. The same way we give thanks if we get saved from an accident or death, we should give thanks for the \u201cYear of Stop.\u201d That does not mean that one should not cry, be angry or even ask God, \u201cWhy?\u201d However, we ought not to stay in that place of anger and apathy. As my father used to say, \u201cYou are allowed to cry and rant for a day, after that you need to begin to look for solutions.\u201d And the Bible reminds us that \u201cJoy comes in the morning.\u201d Embrace your \u201cYear of Stop\u201d and remember to be on the lookout for the \u201cGo\u201d interspersed along the way.<\/p>\n<p>May the Lord continue to Bless, Keep and Hold us in the Palm of His Hands, until we meet again! Love and Blessings Aplenty!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"This article is the one which has generated the most responses of all my articles. In the last week, I received many responses through emails, phone calls, WhatsApp and FB private messages and the few responses on DNO indicate how&#8230;","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":168602,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cbd_carousel_blocks":"[]","footnotes":""},"categories":[89],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-168865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business-life"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>BUSINESS &amp; LIFE: Giving Thanks for the \u201cYear of \u2018Stop\u2019!\u201d \u2013 Part 2 - Dominica News Online<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/homepage\/columns\/business-life\/business-life-giving-thanks-for-the-year-of-stop-part-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"BUSINESS &amp; LIFE: Giving Thanks for the \u201cYear of \u2018Stop\u2019!\u201d \u2013 Part 2 - Dominica News Online\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This article is the one which has generated the most responses of all my articles. 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