{"id":177487,"date":"2017-02-03T10:24:18","date_gmt":"2017-02-03T14:24:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/?p=177487"},"modified":"2017-02-04T00:19:50","modified_gmt":"2017-02-04T04:19:50","slug":"the-kschronicles-monster-in-law","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/homepage\/features\/commentary\/the-kschronicles-monster-in-law\/","title":{"rendered":"THE KSCHRONICLES: Monster-In-Law"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Kerdisha St. Louis<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A few nights ago my significant other and I were watching the movie ‘monster in law’. For those who have not seen it it\u2019s basically a movie where a woman meets the man of her dreams, they fall in love and proceed to get engaged. The twist is that the guy’s mother is a recently fired news anchor who is afraid she will lose her son the way she has just lost her career, and is determined to scare off her son’s new fianc\u00e9 by becoming the world’s worst mother-in-law – hence the term ‘monster in law’.<\/p>\n

While the movie was very entertaining with the mother’s long-time assistant helping her execute her crazy schemes, it did open the discussion of the amount of power one’s in laws have in your relationship.<\/p>\n

Now, in the Caribbean, we typically have close knit extended families – uncles, aunties, cousins etc. so it\u2019s the norm to have your intended meet and hopefully develop a good relationship with your family.<\/p>\n

But what if the interaction goes sour and your significant other is not well received by your family? Does that mean that you have to break up with them?<\/p>\n

We all want our parents to like and enjoy the person that we choose to date but in the end it\u2019s not about pleasing your parents or his parents, it\u2019s about being happy with the person you\u2019re dating.<\/p>\n

If your parents don\u2019t like your man\/woman or if his\/hers don\u2019t exactly like you, this can definitely take a toll on the relationship since we tend to seek the approval of those around us, especially when it comes to dating.<\/p>\n

Whatever the underlying problem is, when parents disapprove of a relationship, they\u2019ll often voice it and show it, (especially if they are from the Caribbean) which can definitely make things harder than they really need to be or should be. When parents don\u2019t agree with a relationship, the drama and tension are bound to be high.<\/p>\n

In my opinion no matter how old you are or how far along you are in a relationship, you will always be your parents\u2019 child, just as your partner will always be his\/her parents\u2019 child.<\/p>\n

However, the problems start when your parents, or his\/her parents, treat the two of you like young children who still need their hands held. It\u2019s important to assertive with your parents, and his, and let them know that you\u2019ve got this and that there\u2019s no need to baby you anymore.<\/p>\n

I know it\u2019s hard to believe but just because you share DNA with your parents doesn\u2019t mean that you have to act like they do and make the same decisions that they would. If your parents or his\/her parents, assume that you will think how they think and act how they act, then things can definitely go downhill quickly.<\/p>\n

Ensure that both sets of your parents understand that you\u2019ll do things your own way since it\u2019s your relationship.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also important to be careful with what you say to your parents. The best way to keep them less involved is to share fewer details. Also, if you have seen that when they have knowledge, they give persistent opinions and try and change your lifestyle patterns, then you know that you need to be more secretive and keep them at a distance. If you don’t, your partner will start to feel overwhelmed and unsure of whom you are in a relationship with.<\/p>\n

While it’s great for our parents and partners to be on comfortable terms, it’s also important to be cautious about letting your parents’ influences negatively affect the relationship you have with your romantic partner.<\/p>\n

Strong families are a gift, and being close with parents can increase our health, but excess parental involvement in our relationships can create tension and compel people to start picking sides.<\/p>\n

While being best friends with your significant other’s siblings and parents is not necessary for a successful romantic relationship going forward, as unfortunately, not everyone is able to magically “click” with one another, especially when there are tons of different personalities floating around, maintaining a level of civility is extremely important.<\/p>\n

Plus, you should never try and take your partner away from his or her family. He or she should be able to see parents, siblings and cousins as much as desired, and while you don’t need to attend everything, it’s best to stay on good terms with everyone when you’re all together.<\/p>\n

A level of separation between parent and partner is actually healthy, and as we grow older, we begin to realize that we love our parents and will always hold them close to us, but we must also focus on intimate relationships for the future that have their own category and should not be meddled with from familial influences.<\/p>\n

While parents are critical to our wellbeing and we are always grateful for what they have done for us and the care they provide, if we let them take control over our relationships and cause problems, we might find ourselves in a failing relationship.<\/p>\n

By putting your partner first, understanding his or her feelings, and standing up to parents in order to set boundaries and protect your partner, you are more likely to find a successful intimate relationship going forward.<\/p>\n

If you like what you read, you can find more HERE<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"A few nights ago my significant other and I were watching the movie ‘monster in law’. 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