![\"\"](\"http:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/dno\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/Dear-Bella-pic6.jpg\" "\\"Dear")
I\u2019m a married man in a really tough situation.<\/p>\nI\u2019m a married man in a really tough situation.<\/p>\n
A year before getting married to my fianc\u00e9 there was this girl that I found very attractive.\u00a0 I did not see her frequently (and still do not). But, I would go out, see her and try to ignore her presence but find it hard not to steal a look at her.<\/p>\n
I think she observed that I stare now and then, but I guess she was probably shy and I, not wanting to be unfaithful to my fianc\u00e9 had no choice but to leave it alone and personally deal with my attraction as a mature person.\u00a0 At times I felt sick to the stomach with thoughts of her lingering in my mind even if I don’t know her.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m married for about two years now and I\u2019m very happy.\u00a0 But whenever I see this girl, I cannot sleep, she haunts my thoughts.\u00a0 I dare not speak to her or make my feelings obvious especially if my wife is around.\u00a0 I think she is aware of it by the way I might look at her if ever our eyes meet. But of course, I remain very composed. Like nothing is up.<\/p>\n
I am a good, decent man so I\u2019ve prayed about it.<\/p>\n
But really Bella, just seeing her haunts my nights.\u00a0 I\u2019m a Christian, do not want this temptation, and been dealing with it for at least three years now.\u00a0 I wonder if I should approach her maybe say hi casually some time. But I don’t know.
\nI\u2019m trying hard, I do not think of her, I\u2019m busy with work, my family etc., but once I see her everything falls to pieces.<\/p>\n
What to do?<\/p>\n
Husband with crush<\/p>\n
Dear Husband with crush,<\/p>\n
Feelings can be controlled and dealt with but we must first understand what we are feeling. At first you were attracted to this woman. Considering the fact that you never interacted with her it was a physical attraction. You suppressed what you were feeling because of loyalty to your fianc\u00e9 and so it grew into lust or infatuation which has compounded the situation. We cannot switch feelings off and on as we desire.<\/p>\n
Attraction to other individuals does not always lead to sexual relations. We become attracted to others for different reasons and ignorance of this fact can lead us to make terrible mistakes. You need to discover what you find attractive about this woman and why it turns you on. Having done this you can be decisive about how you should interact with her to get over what you are feeling. Staying away will only deepen what you are feeling now and it is not going to help.<\/p>\n
Face this feeling head on and keep praying.<\/p>\n
Bella<\/p>\n
Editor’s note: This ‘Dear Bella’ was supposed to be published yesterday but due to circumstances beyond our control we were unable to publish it. Reader can expect Dear Bella every Tuesday and Thursday.<\/p>\n
Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at dominicanewsonline@gmail.com. Dear Bella is published Tuesdays and Thursdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company\u2019s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I\u2019m a married man in a really tough situation. A year before getting married to my fianc\u00e9 there was this girl that I found very attractive.\u00a0 I did not see her frequently (and still do not). But, I would go…","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":30584,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cbd_carousel_blocks":"[]","footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30583","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dear-bella"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n