{"id":45937,"date":"2011-10-12T10:07:14","date_gmt":"2011-10-12T14:07:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/?p=45937"},"modified":"2011-10-12T10:07:14","modified_gmt":"2011-10-12T14:07:14","slug":"commentary-after-the-honeymoon-a-masculine-perspective","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/homepage\/features\/commentary\/commentary-after-the-honeymoon-a-masculine-perspective\/","title":{"rendered":"COMMENTARY: After the honeymoon – A masculine perspective"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
A scene from "After the Honeymoon"<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Many times we hear people say that marriage changes people.\u00a0 Is it a matter of change? or is it a matter of reverting to the characteristics we have managed to hide during the beautiful time of courtship to the honeymoon?\u00a0\u00a0 How does it change from the Honeymoon to the Sourmoon? How close should your friends be in your marriage? Who is really the head of the Home, the man or the woman? I intend to ponder on marriage as was raised in the weekend\u2019s performance of the New Dimension Theater’s production “After the Honeymoon.”<\/p>\n

I know many reading this have seen the production “After the Honeymoon” since on both nights I went I endured the atmosphere of a packed Arawak experience.\u00a0 However I will explore the play which begins with a man name Thomas dressing in his beautifully decorated house.\u00a0 The white valance in the kitchen, the Jesus picture hanging on the wall of the bedroom, the white three piece sofa, well arranged dressing table and more; gave us a picture of an organized Home, rather than a House.<\/p>\n

It is commonly thought that the wedding day and the honeymoon are the most enjoyable times. One would see the couple making a valiant effort to look the part of the Husband and Wife. Let us begin with the character Thomas (played by Lloyd Benjamin) .\u00a0 He looked the part of the husband from the onset of the play, being the only masculine figure on the stage when the play opened.\u00a0 The contents of his speech contains definitive affirmations that he was the \u201cI am\u201d \u201cThe Boss\u201d \u201cMan of the House\u201d.\u00a0 Then there was the genealogical boast that \u201cHe is the carbon copy of his Father\u201d; his biological father that could do no wrong.\u00a0 Such a behavior from Thomas seemed to have been released after the honeymoon was over.\u00a0 This is a common occurrence that can be found in marriages today; most persons enter into a union with the one they perceive to be their love of their life, then the \u201cI do\u201d becomes the welcome mat to no longer hidden but released intolerable behaviors.\u00a0 How honest are we in our relationships?<\/p>\n

Thomas\u2019s wife Abigail (played by Doniel Blackmoore) is presented with a husband who she believes has \u201cChanged\u201d after the honeymoon; The move from honeymoon to the sourmoon.\u00a0 However for one to understand the real role of this character, Abigail, we are forced to investigate the conditions under which she was presented before the honeymoon or the courtship.<\/p>\n

In the pre-honeymoon, did Abigail not see the signs of Thomas\u2019 behaviors? Many who would have left the Arawak would believe that Thomas was to blame solely for the conditions of ‘After the Honeymoon’. It is not remissive to think so. This is because in relationships many of us see the signs that there are incompatibility issues and we choose to ignore it.\u00a0 The signs of chauvinism, abuse and lack of housetraining cannot be masked successfully in the period of courtship; it does not matter how long of the period.\u00a0 “THERE ARE ALWAYS SIGNS.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pre-honeymoon Abigail was probably caught up in a pseudo romance that usual comes about when we highlight the wedding day as the mainstay of the marriage. So in her glow of a pseudo romance she had missed the signs which may have slapped her harder than the physical one she received the night.\u00a0 This is where the \u201cquality versus quantity of actions\u201d comes into play.\u00a0\u00a0 Quality versus quantity actions is the conflict between the type of action and the amount of times can an action be repeated.\u00a0 In the play Thomas had to only hit Abigail once for her to walk out on him.\u00a0 The quantity was one and the quality was that of abuse.\u00a0 Prior to the honeymoon, quantity overrides the quality. This means that the signs of abuse, \u201cMalagosh\u201d behaviors and egotistic chauvinism come out at erratic moments, but are ignored because the frequency is what counts.\u00a0 If at time we would correct these signs as soon as they are identified\u2026the After the Honeymoon would be better\u2026That being said \u201c I\u00a0 blame Abigail for Thomas\u2019 behavior.<\/p>\n

This brings in the \u201cFRIENDS\u201d Pudding (played by Melisha Joseph) and El (played by Jerry Coipel).\u00a0 How essential or rather what can friends contribute to your relationship?\u00a0 Friends contribute base on their experiences. This means for instance, if your friend is part of an abusive relationship, within that sphere of abuse she\/he would seek to interpret, guide and advice your relationship. A next example of this is if your friend is in a marriage that lacks communication and love, they would seek to advice and operate with you in that sphere.\u00a0 Let us begin with the character El.\u00a0 One would interpret El as the protagonist with the wise words of wisdom and the conscience of Thomas.<\/p>\n

However various lines within the play would give you the hint that this character was having marital problems.\u00a0 Allow me to enumerate the evidence, one his advice to Thomas was clear that he had been down this road before, he knew the outcome.\u00a0 Two, there is a lack of communication between El and his wife Rita (A character only mentioned in conversation).\u00a0 Rita is responsible for withdrawing El\u2019s account without his consent. El in the same light has the audacity to not confront his wife, but rather approaches pudding to borrow money from her.<\/p>\n

Three, El admits to be the one who cooks, cleans and stay home as the house husband to Rita.\u00a0 Finally Four, The fact that El admits to having affairs more than six times with the other friend Pudding.\u00a0 Have you all realized that El had been present at almost all instances of argument between the couple? Do you all realize that at all times instead of being the neutral mediator, he frequently sided with Abigail instead of Thomas?\u00a0 This is my summary of El (BEWARE OF THOSE FRIENDS), at first he strives on the arguments Between Thomas and Abigail in order to create a need for his presence.\u00a0 El needs company!! He fuels the tension by agreeing with the wife against the husband.\u00a0 It is beneficial for him that the wife and husband continue to argue, however it is not beneficial to him for them to SPLIT UP.\u00a0 So after he attempts to diffuse the situation he has fuel with wise words which I believes speaks of his experience. BEWARE OF THOSE FRIENDS<\/p>\n

Pudding, this character is Abigail\u2019s friend and the one who Thomas blames for the problems in his marriage.\u00a0 This is the most interesting character in the play and the female friend every man would wish there wife NOT to have.\u00a0 Pudding\u2019s experience is that of a bad girl gone almost good, from a multitude of men to two, her Financial Minister and her Minister of Home Affairs.\u00a0 She takes the two extremes of men as her lovers; The Financially stable man vs the Malibu Ken with looks and No money.\u00a0 Now because her experience is of such she explains and seeks to entice Abigail subliminally to become an unfaithful wife and displays an overt expression of lack of respect to Marriage.\u00a0 As I said, MEN! From the time you recognize during the period of courtship your girlfriend have that type of friend get rid of her BEFORE THE HONEYMOON.<\/p>\n

Let us begin with her challenge in her first entrance.\u00a0 She walks into a recently married couple\u2019s house without knocking and goes into their bedroom.\u00a0 Upon meeting with Thomas who was alone home, she states that if she had walked in on them together she would have \u201cjoined\u201d.\u00a0 Joke?\u00a0 No! that is a cause of eyebrows being raised. Pudding is hinting her preference that a relationship need to be that of one with two spouses (I call that the Threesome Mentality).\u00a0 Pudding is disrespectful to the intuition of marriage between one man and one woman.\u00a0 Sociology would have called pudding a proponent of polyandry and or group marriage. It must be added that this character uses well masked sexual undertones to promote her point to the Na\u00efve Abigail the Tabula Rasa.<\/p>\n

Like El there seem to be a benefit for Pudding to allow the arguments in the house to continue, but a break up would not benefit.\u00a0 The character Pudding enters at moments of calm, during that moment she entices Abigail into male bashing themed conversations in which Thomas is painted the worst.\u00a0 She blatantly disrespects the rules of the house since she knows that her presence is not allowed, so much so she hides when she realizes that Thomas is around.\u00a0 Her motive therefore is to execute her powers as the mistress of the proprietor of the house (her minister of finance) in which Abigail and Thomas lives.\u00a0 Like the puppet master she controls her minister of finance money and seeks to control his material possession (the house) and the elements inside (Thomas and Abigail).\u00a0 It would not benefit her if the couple splits, then she would not have no reason or access to the material possession and the elements inside.<\/p>\n

All in all this play is a masterpiece of a play to have relationship discourse on.\u00a0 The intriguing plot is meaty and full of subliminal messages that gives insight into the heart of relationships.\u00a0 I saw it all three nights and can tell you it is worth seeing\u2026. A word to the men though when going GO AS MEN, do not allow yourself to be caught up with the overwhelming hatred many would have for Thomas, look at the subliminal and Learn.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Many times we hear people say that marriage changes people.\u00a0 Is it a matter of change? or is it a matter of reverting to the characteristics we have managed to hide during the beautiful time of courtship to the honeymoon?\u00a0\u00a0…","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":45938,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cbd_carousel_blocks":"[]","footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-45937","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commentary"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nCOMMENTARY: After the honeymoon - A masculine perspective - Dominica News Online<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/homepage\/features\/commentary\/commentary-after-the-honeymoon-a-masculine-perspective\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"COMMENTARY: After the honeymoon - 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