![\"Dear](\"http:\/\/dominicanewsonline.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/new-dear-bella.png\")
I am 13 years old and I live with my two parents and my sister. My mother and I are close and I talk to her about everything. Recently though, I got into some trouble because of some rumors that had been spreading about me. The rumors were about me and another boy that attends a high school. My mother first heard the information from her colleague and believed it.<\/p>\n
She gave me a beating but I wanted to let her know that the rumors are not true, so I spoke to her. She mentioned that I am ‘too out of hand’ and that she knows that I was being good all the time to cover up a sin. She still doesn’t believe me up to this day. If she doesn’t believe me, then she doesn’t trust me.<\/p>\n
Why can’t she trust me when something like that has never happened before?<\/p>\n
The number of boys I speak to can be counted on one hand and she views all of my Facebook chat. She knows that there are friends that I have dropped because of their obsession for the male sex. I do not want to lose a bond with my mother at such a young age.<\/p>\n
How do I make her believe me and believe that I would not do such a thing?<\/p>\n
I have deleted my Facebook account now to prevent any of these problems again. I have tried my best to do what she says but I just think that things have not been going as they were before. I feel uncomfortable speaking to her again because she believes others\u00a0 so easily and she finds it impossible to believe me. I have no one else I feel comfortable talking to and that bothers me a lot to see my mother and I just lose that close connection.<\/p>\n
Thanks in Advance,
\nJ<\/p>\n
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Dear J,<\/p>\n
It is obvious from your letter that you are a very intelligent young lady.\u00a0 You are searching to do right to please your mother by modifying your life and that is very commendable that you care for her opinion as that will keep you in check.\u00a0 Understand that your mother is reacting to this news out of hurt because of her love for you.\u00a0 Parenting is not an easy task and ALL parents raise their children on their knowledge (be it good or bad).\u00a0 There are also very few parents who desire bad for their children.<\/p>\n
There is a saying that I am sure you have heard: There is no smoke without fire.\u00a0 A lot of people tend to believe rumors because of the source of the rumor- a close friend of yours, a relative.\u00a0 When the source of the rumor is reputable, people usually keep fanning the flames and before you know, untruth appears like truth as it is in everybody’s mouth.<\/p>\n
You need to rebuild your Mom’s confidence (you still have some years at home) and she needs to be your confidant.\u00a0 The tension that exists presently is not good for neither of you and as aggravation is added to this, the mistrust will only increase.\u00a0 You need to be well-rounded as a teen- you need to have relationships with persons regardless sex, color or creed and this is something that is essential for your holistic (well-rounded) development.<\/p>\n
This is the real world and you cannot shut yourself in.\u00a0 To resolve this situation with your mother, you need someone to intervene.\u00a0 My advice to you, is to find an adult whom you trust, and for whom your mother holds a lot of respect- a grandmother, a priest\/pastor, a teacher, an aunt\/uncle, a school counselor.\u00a0 Someone who hasn’t already formed an opinion of the whole matter.\u00a0 You need someone who will be a mediator in this matter so that you and your Mom can express your precise feelings to each other.<\/p>\n
After this meeting, you and your mother have to move on from there…look towards the future and steer all conversation away from past hurts.\u00a0 Talk to her about what you are going through and be open with her at all times.\u00a0 It is life that we are living, and there will be twists and turns along the way.<\/p>\n
Bella<\/strong> Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at dominicanewsonline@gmail.com. Dear Bella is published Tuesdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company\u2019s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I am 13 years old and I live with my two parents and my sister. My mother and I are close and I talk to her about everything. Recently though, I got into some trouble because of some rumors that…","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":55632,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cbd_carousel_blocks":"[]","footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-92677","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dear-bella"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
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