Dear Bella: I am a 17-year-old girl in 5th form about to sit my C.S.E.C exams this month. I am 22 weeks pregnant for this guy, but he has been recently locked up.
Before he was sentenced to imprisonment he was still with his previous baby mother (all this wasn’t known to me until sometime in March). This lady had a tendency of calling my phone and I told her I’m pregnant and I don’t care if she and the guy are still together. Yes, I do love this guy, but it hurts so much to know he is still with his baby mother and I’m pregnant for him. Actually I chose to be the bigger person in this relationship; I told her to stop calling my phone and I told the guy not to have anything to do with me. He insists that since I’m having his child he wants to be there for his child.
He was going around telling people that he knows when to take me to the doctor. Look I have my parents by my side; they are the ones that give me money to go to all my doctor visits. So I don’t know what type of impression he is giving people. While he’s in prison he is sending people to tell me I must come and visit him. Should I go? I do love him honestly speaking, but this lady needs to stop calling my phone. There are many times she reacted by coming to slap me, but the poor lady doesn’t even know how I look. I gave her directions to my school and even where she should meet me after school to come and slap me, but she never did. The day she step foot in front of me to confront me about any man “crazy blood might fly up in my head and I will dark she out. I don’t skylark with idiots and I will play crazy- strip naked and run up and down so when police come they go carry me to the mental asylum for about six months. So if she think she crazy I more crazy than she.
Crazy over my unborn child, it’s father and the father woman.
Dear Crazy,
As a 17-year-old I must commend you firstly for being the better person to tell your former lover’s woman to stop calling your phone, presuming that she is an older person than you. However, at a time like this you should not be inviting her to confront you; you don’t “wanna be starting something” (as young people say) at this time. Right now you should be focusing on excelling at your CSEC exams so you can make your way through college. Regarding you being pregnant, what’s done is done and you should also prepare for the challenges and joys of motherhood. Place no importance on this trouble-maker before you find yourself tainting your reputation.
It is usually the best thing for a child’s growth to be supported by both parents. Once the man is willing to be a father allow him to visit and support his child financially. It is also commendable that he wants to take responsibility for his actions and you should recognize the good in that intention. However, these rumours he is spreading about needs to stop and you should address that matter with him eventually. On that note, I think that he is not the best asset to your life and you should not treat him as a lover, but your child’s father. Try to stay away from visiting him at prison; I don’t think that would be the best move considering that his woman is on your tail. You should also tell your parents and friends about this woman’s harassments. She seems very serious and I fear that she could definitely try hurting you.
All the best with motherhood and keep God at the forefront in your life because He never gives us more than we can bear.
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excuse me VISITOR!! i take great offence at your statement! i am a 25 yr old born, bred and raised sweet nature island girl, about to get married, with no kids at all!! it is not a legacy of Dominican females to all or often have children in their late teens……….its just a normal legacy of life….SHIT happens!!
and to you my dear girl, Bella gave you some good advice so u should strongly consider it!! have a blessed day my dear!
PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM HIM.DONT WORRY ABOUT THE OTHER GIRL SHE JUST STUPID THATS Y HE MAY BE COME TO U ANY HOW.PLEASE WHEN THAT CHILD BORN ALLOWED HIM TO SEE AND TAKE HIS RESPONSIBILITY.PLEASE DO NOT GET A NEXT BABY FOR HIM OR ANY OTHER PERSON AND TRY TO FURTHER YOUR EDUCATION.DONT FORGET TO TRAIN THAT CHILD UP THE BEST U KNOW HOW REMEMBER SUNDAY SCHOOL OR SABBATH SCHOOL WATEVER U CHOOSE.KEEP PRAYING FOR U AND THE FATHER IN JAIL.pUT GOD FIRST.
Everyone wants to grow up faster than they should. It happens every where.
To Visitor: Yes you are entitled to your views but we dominicans accept constructive criticism, not otherwise. You are talking a bunch of crap. This thing happens every where. I really hate it when people like you try to bring down my country esp. when the others are no better than us. I am a Dominican who travels and lives abroad and I see it happen ever so often. And with all that said, what makes you think that the young lady is Dominican anyway????
…and as for the young lady: well I can say a million things, like you should have been focusing on school and so, but you are already with child and instead I can only encourage you to not stress yourself because that would not be good for the child. If you are a humble young lady then I know you will leave well alone. Meaning the man and his baby mama drama. If you are confused about your decision, Bella can’t help you. Only God can!!!! So SEEK him.
I commend your parents though for not putting you out. That just would not have solve the prob.
I wish you Blessings and I hope you take my advice in seeking God.
Whatever, good advice! I hate to see what some folks write and make it seem like they never did any wrongful things. I got pregnant in my first year of college and my parents were also there for me. Ofcourse, they did not encourage sex in high school or college but that was the time I needed them most and thank God they reached out to me. Because of them I was able to graduate and do for my child what I couldn’t do for four years. Today even if I am not married to that child’s father I met a wonderful man who made me his wife and we have another child. Even if I made a big mistake in life, I will always instill good habits in my girls. People condemn others and forget their own backyards. They make it seem like their kids are the best. I think that I was a good girl growing up and even if my parents were very strict I still found the time to do what I wanted to and they never suspected it. We can’t always blame the parents because no matter what they instruct us to do children will still do what they want to.I will though encourage young people as many of you did and if you feel that you have to have sex do it safely and protect yourself ’cause no one else will do that for you.
ebeh mi roro
the advice i’ll give you is to stay focus and stay outta trouble with that lady cuz u dont know her mind and wat she is cappable of doin…. especially at this time of your life….. study and pass you exam cuz this life that we are living is very difficult…. bye….. and put god first in wat u do cuz he alone can help u through..
At least de girl still in school……she not de first and won’t be de last……….geez
Lord Jesus,help our young ladies of today.
Sweety,you should be focusing on your studies to do the best at CXC,then go to college,Get a decent job and then consider university.
What are you doing in this boy BABY MOTHER DRAMA?
You should be thinking of finding yourself a decent man,one you will marry who is well educated,protecting himself and your schooling,not one that will get you pregnant in school!!!
but one that will help you with your school work ,and better your future.One that will conform with he laws of the commonwealth of dominica and not get himself LOCKED UP!
Don’t you have any Class,Status or Pride and Dignity as a young lady?YOU NEED TO CLASS UP!
Anyway mother wood is exciting but you will more appreciate and recognise it if you and the father are together loving and happyly living.Not if he’s in jail or with another woman!!
All the best,hope you take my advise
Well, from the way you speak pal, I suspect you not dominican, but if u were I would ask your parents for permission to beat you under your foot………the only commendable thing you have done in this entire episode is decide to keep your baby. Ok de man in prison, that is a lost lost cause, I don’t even want to know his crime, he is just a lost cause…and de ex-girlfriend/zeh-zeh/en-yeh a faire/corbos, that want to take you on over that useless man is another lost cause since you are just a school chile .
Now little miss sit down with your book and pencil and take note, 17 years u have u not a big woman! all that talk you have there… is just talk! a few months down de road in de labour room, you will ask for your mammy like any little child…sweet in de mout sour in de ass, just wait and see…. But dat said, you still have a slim chance of allowing yourself and by extension your unborn baby to be something in life, please please souplait, study hard, pass those exams so you can at least get a job. In this competitive world, with economic crisis all over a woman need to have a legitimate way of supporting herself, mommy and daddy will not be around forever.
SO please learn from your mistakes and move on, not to de same coshonee life style, but to an elevated, responsible lifestyle because when u make chile u not a little girl again you are a mommy and u have a little person to raise into a big person who will not make your mistakes or his/her father’s mistakes.
Children go to school and learn well,
That you won’t have such a story to tell.
dominicans have lyrics wi boi!!
ebeh ni roro
I really dont get it. Everyon here is up in arms about this girl being pregnant at 17 but it is my observation that it is the norm for Dominicans to have CHILDREN before they are out of their teen years. Meeting a young person younger than 20 with out a child just seems unheard of. The country needs to develope things for teens to do outside of dance to Triple Kay and hanging out at the bayfront. Perhaps then there will be fewer teens having babies.
As for the young lady. Own to your mistake and move forward with your life. Having a child should not prevent you from completing your studies. Also, dont waste time dealing with your baby father or his girlfriend. If the father wants to be involved with the baby once he is released make arrangement for him to see the baby through your family or his and eliminate all contact with him. Having contacting with him will just be away for him to romance you back into his bed and probably knock you up again.
visitor you are a visitor to our country so hold your opinion to your damn self ans shut … up
visitor or not I speak the truth. Dominica needs to invest in something for teens to do other than drinking, dancing, hanging by the bay and having unprotected sex.
Visitor, I am very much offended by your statements about dominicans.
I am nineteen years old and keeping myself till marriage. Dont go pointing fingers when dominicans are brilliant people.
I do admit that there are problems in the island but so does everywhere else. Don’t go saying things to make dominicans look bad. I already have graduated from of highschool and college and college at my age and have done very well. I have a very stable job and I exceed the expectations of many people that come my way.
Being a single mother is not a crime, lots of people do it and you’ll realize that people who went through some struggles in life are those who make it big because they have a story to tell…..
What story could you possibly have from you perfect little life?…. How you scraped your knee?…. What life changing lesson is there?
Dominicans are smart, beautiful, peaceful and kind persons… thats the majority. So please watch what you say about my people.
With love,
A true Dominican
Could not have said it better myself, mature teenager. Only, a visitor could make such uninformed statements about D/ca……..stupesssss
Excuse me, but if u believe that Dominicans are the only set of people with their young girls getting pregnant early, do a 180 and scrutinize your backyard PROPERLY! Maybe you should even try digging up your own closet while you’re at it.
Visitor, u is a pure fool…I am 22 yrs old, a working young lady and going to school, i not pretending to be no innocent since i am not ashamed of any of my actions, i am no virgin yet i do not open for everything tht runs my way , i am in a serious relationship for 2 yrs and VISITOR WE DOMINICAN WOMEN DO USE CONDOM, i have no children, i live on my own and i definitely got my head on straight, so have some damn respect when u talking about dominicans, it is a reality everywhere in this world teenage pregnancy…so doe come talkin ..
Pure _ _ _ness!
that 17year old is the only aggressive person in that melay.
1. Pregnant at school
2. Boyfriend in prison
3. In conflict with other girlfirend and child mother
4. No respect for school surroundings
Doesn’t sound good. You are definitely on the wrong route. My only advice is to study and pass ur CXC well so you can get a decent job and care for your child.
i agree with you
Lyn ..teenager pregnancy was a reality years ago … our parents and grandparents had us at teenagers. The different is , today sex education is taught at every school, more is being done now to protect young people against teenage pregnancy ,std’s and drugs, but do they take hid?
What is a 17 yr old in 5th form doing pregnant , she should be concentrating on her studies and focusing on succeeding at C.X.C to make a better life for her self and make her parents proud. But instead she is anxious to fight over some guy who is in prison. (cheez this child is sick ).She has shown no concern for her unborn child . Based on her attitude what is the possibility of her producing any good grades at C.X.C. ?
This is typical of many young ladies today. Try acting in a classy manner….a respectable manner…one which your soon to be child would admire. Talking bout taking off all ur clothes n running around naked …only to be locked up yourself for six months and be away from your child….being pregnant n inviting physical confrontation which might maybe cause u to lose your child…or your life. Go sit your lil ass in a corner and read a book and cool out.. Imagine your child having to explain to their friends why their mother is such a derelict…over a man that got himself locked up, most likely for some stupid shit. Apparently you not any smarter. Try bettering yourself instead of having all your negative energy around you. 1) it will distract your from your studies 2) tension and stress is not good for expecting mothers.
These kids need to learn to wrap it up
i believe is that child calling the man child mother. that 17yrs old plug woman should get a life. the man in jail maybe being service by another jail bird and u fighting over him. come on child get a life
… Girl you are crazy and when you act crazy i hope de police do lock you up because is only a crazy person would worry about the other baby mama. Girl you should worry about your baby growing up with a jailbird father..You see your priorities a not not in order and i hope one of the questions on your exam is “how to spot a looser” because i sure you would fail..You say you a seventeen but grow up dump the looser jail bird and ignore the other girl…YOU SHOULD BE USING CONTRACEPTIVE AT SEVENTEEN NOT GIVING YOU VJAYJAY TO looser men CONDOM SWEETHEART CONDOM CONDOM CONDOM….AIDS IS A REALITY
Very soft answer bella, although good but that’s not going to help her, she need some serious help and stern rebuke. This is a child that have literally ‘lost it’ all round. So many issues going wrong with this young girl and I am trying to fardom the extent to which she is shattered. BUT there is hope for this child, if she would take heed to corrections and advice immediately.
First of all, you have gotten yourself involve with the wrong guy ( a good guy will not use u and get u pregnant at that age while you are at school). This is a guy who is involve in criminal activities and have bad behaviour, which is a hazard to society( until he turn his life around). There is absolutely no good future with such a man.
Secondly, you are pregnant. A major issue and you have no idea what’s ahead of you. Through all the stages of pregnancy you have to properly feed and take care of yourself, have doctors visit and for the first 3 months, educate the child by doing lots of reading to help build the mental capability of the child and alot of other things. Also, psychologically and emotionally, you need to get ready to nurture this child you are bringing into this world. This takes alot of responsible and caring behaviour. Giving full responsibility to your parents to take care of the child and you is not the way to go. You have to take care of this child. Maybe your goals to attend college might be postponed, but you cannot let this child be among the statistics of those who are given little to no motherly care. It’s not just about the money.
Thirdly, you are 17 and is now leaving high school ( this means you have to grow up quickly and LEARN to be very responsible. You need to get a hold of your rude behaviour and attitude. Look at your response and malicious thinking towards the other woman. This is not healthy at all. You need serious help my child. I pray you get delivered from this dangerous lifestyle. And my dear, HE DO NOT LOVE YOU, please get a grip of that. Stop with your foolish talk about you love him. move on with your life my dear.
Great advise from ‘THE DAY HAS COME’ couldn’t put it better myself….’ART’ you are a little harsh…she is still a child and it’s a lot to digest at her age not to mention hormones all over the place… she does need help…you can’t always blame the parents sometimes they give the kids advice and they simply ignore them…and this is one of the unfortunate circumstances….
Crazy…be strong the most important thing is to look after yourself …and Pray…Let the LORD do the rest!
Girl let me tell you something,you are not crazy you are just stupid,plain dumb you need a life,thats all.Do you think this at al honorable?its not, to be pregnant at 17 is just damn foolish and your parents needs a course in parenting.
real ting art. she seems to like the drama. as u can see she creating a drama herself but i case she realyy is 17. wonder how old is de guy. take wat u get my girl since u were taking it all along
@ art … Why do you think it her parents need a course at parenting. I think it is honourable of the parents to stand by their child’s side when she is in need. Yes it was not a smart thing of her to get pregnant at 17 but teenage pregnancy is a reality these days and society must deal with it. I am sure that the parents talked to this young lady about teenage pregnancy and they trained her up to be a good person. Please dont pass judgements
Please Dominicans, don’t be hypocrites, she was not the first neither will she be the last. We need to clean our back yards first. Why not be there for our youth throughout so that when they come across challenges as in this child’s story, they will make decisions that will be beneficial to them and those around them.
Then how are you so sure?jugding from her remarks one can easily see where she came from,i grew up 4 daughters and i dont consider myself lucky,they just knew that they could not get pregnant while in school,and thats the bottom line.
If one thinks that talking alone is enough think again,if someone was ever brought up in a good home and was taught and trained well,he or she could not think the thoughts she is having.
My daughters knew that they had to come straight home from school,that homework had to be done on time,chores were to be completed and no boyfriends during the time you were in school.
Yes of course they were not always pleased,but my responsibility was not to please them but to bring them up right and today i have no regrets,because i have 4 greatful and successful ladies.
Art…I am sure your daughters made mistakes along the way. No one is perfect. Its people like you that look down on other people children and think your children is better than theirs. I am sure you hear already that children which was born and bred at Christian homes their parents were pastors and good members of the public standings found themselves in similar situations like this young lady. Sometimes we the parents talk to our kids day and night about sex and std s and also drugs. Some of us are so strict that we drop our kids everywhere they go and pick them back up but yet still these kids still find a way of doing what their minds tell them to do. Sometimes we the parents try our best to do good by our children by raising our kids the same way our mothers and grand mothers raised us. Be grateful your children did listen to you and take your advice.
As to this young lady You need to think about yourself and your unborn child. Stop stressing yourself about his young man and his woman because if he had so love you you would not be in the mess that you are today. Someone your age should have more sense than that to have sex without a condom, not only you got pregnant but you could have gotten AIDS. If young children insist on having sex the least they could do is use a condom. CONDOMS SAVES LIVES. PROTECT YOUR SELVES TOO MANY YOUNG PEOPLE ARE DYING WITH AIDS THESE DAYS.
P.S…. I hope you pass your exams when the time come.