My boyfriend is worried he will lose me

Dear BellaMy boyfriend is very concerned that he’ll lose me, although that is not the case.

I tried explaining he won’t ever because I love him so much but that didn’t work last Friday.

I was hanging out with him when he left and said he would be back.

After he left I went over to two of his guy friends to hung out and completely forgot about him.

When I finally remembered him, I went looking for him but could not find him.

With the help of my best friend, I went out looking for him and we finally found him sitting on a cold, hard, metal bench.

I ran up to him and hugged him and told him the story about how I completely forgot him.

He only said ” it’s ok” but it was with a sad voice.

I asked what was wrong and he said, “I just don’t like you hanging with ____ and ____.” (I didn’t put the names just in case) and I only said “oh.”

I was upset for the rest of the day because he was angry I hang out with them more than him.

He said it is apparent they are both trying to steal me.

I already told him this is something he shouldn’t worry about but it appears he doesn’t believe me.

I am very worried.

How can make it final that I love him so much and wouldn’t leave him for those guys.?

It would be REALLY helpful if you answered and helped me.

I really need it.

Need Help
Dear Need Help,

In any relationship, you should see love as a verb. For example, your boyfriend says that he is coming back to meet you and you left because you forgot. The message conveyed here is that the meeting was not so important that you forgot to wait on him. However if this is not a usual thing, then we can make room here for a slip of the mind. Evaluate for yourself if it was a loving act to forget the dude…he got hurt so much so that he went to the object that reflect best his rejection: cold, hard and metal.

Your friendship with any other persons though should not be an issue. In such a case, if he decides to dwell on that, then there is nothing that you can do to make him understand that you love him. You have a right to friendships with persons of both sexes. This is just an insecurity that he has to deal with. Do not ever isolate yourself from good, wholesome relationships just to please another person.

If there is anything that I want you to go with, is to show love, show care, show compassion. When you create that arena where you know you are loving your man to the utmost, it is really then up to him to embrace that love. If he makes it by-pass him because he is so caught up in the “naughties”, then he will just be wasting his time.

At least you would have known that you did your best.

Bella

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35 Comments

  1. April 13, 2015

    You are both too immature for a serious male female relationship.

    It would l be best if you spent your social time in groups. Attend group activities where you can meet and interact with boys and girls of the same approximate age. Play or listen to music, watch or play sports, attend classes where you can learn a subject you have an interest in, or just mingle, and talk.

    Grow into a strong person who is able to help and encourage others. Make it your goal to assist one individual a week (preferably a girl) who needs a helping hand. You will be amazed at how satisfying it is. It will give you the best feeling you have ever had. Honest! You will discover that you do not need a guy to prop you up and make you a worthwhile person.

    Eventually you will meet the right man for you without even trying. When this happens an O.K. relationship develops. It grows naturally out of being the right kind of person.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. International Evangelist.

  2. Mkayy
    May 17, 2014

    Umm…girl byeeeeee…..how on earth can you talk to your boyfriend’s friends and forget about him…..is best you chill and go and study…mkayyyy :-|

  3. oh my
    April 29, 2014

    Your boyfriend waisting his time…how can u hang out with your man friend and forget him.u doe ready yet

  4. Sueme
    April 26, 2014

    Thought BELLA was not coming back. This “story” sounds foolish. You should focus on your love interest young lady. If you cannot commit then leave the young man alone and hang out with the other guys. You seem to be too young to make up your mind.

  5. madame dominique
    April 24, 2014

    you forgot to wait on yr boyfriend???? This article sounds fabricated.

  6. MS
    April 23, 2014

    From reading this article I can tell that it was written by a child. A very young one too. How can you go hang out with your boyfriend’s friends and forgot that you had plans to meet up with him? Only a child with a very short attention span would do that.

    Child please, if you were so in love with your boyfriend as you claimed you would have remained in the very spot he left you waiting for him to return. Everybody can probably count on one hand the number of childhood relationships that last into adulthood. Children are too naive and irrational to understand what unconditional love is and the sacrifices that they have to make for a relationship to last a lifetime. And the truth is they shouldn’t have because they have their entire adult years to do that.

    Your focus should be on your education, career and overall self development at this age. I know once you hit puberty you will start to feel attraction towards the opposite sex and will want to explore it but don’t ever lose focus of your goals. I’m telling you that from experience because I started dating when I was 17 years and I wish I had waited because it distracted me from my studies and I didn’t get the grades that I wanted to get into med school. I ended up getting a MBA and a pretty decent job but I still wish I had gone to med school.

    I wish you best of luck in every thing.

  7. Ms Twitter
    April 23, 2014

    stupes! what coshonie story dat nuh?? Even the story of Cinderella more interesting than this nonsense.

  8. Dash
    April 23, 2014

    She ain’t no woman. She’s a child still. A minor

  9. 767
    April 23, 2014

    8-O wth did I just read? Fiction much? High school student living in a world that doesn’t exist..maybe you should spend more time in your books.

  10. magic
    April 23, 2014

    Your boyfriend friends are not your friends… They are the same niggas who would hook him up with a next girl and still call you “sis” also they will try to get with you and tell him you’re a ho

  11. Hard Drugs
    April 23, 2014

    :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :?: :?:

  12. concerned citizen
    April 23, 2014

    Way papa so.long I looking.for a good.dear Bella article and this is th Bella giving me after all.this time .Stupes go back to.the drawin board yea

  13. UDOHREADYET
    April 23, 2014

    The story sounds somewhat immature but in all due respect I’ll share my thoughts.
    Your comment;
    ‘After he left I went over to two of his guy friends to hung out and completely forgot about him.’
    Women/girls these days are too friendly/familiar with their boyfriend’s friends… that alone creates a situation of mistrust, it’s also a sign for those looking on that they cannot trust the woman. In the same way a man cannot be too friendly or pursue friendship with his woman’s girlfriends. Some people will say differently that it’s not an issue blah blah blah but that’s a lie, those very same people believe that their intentions and interests can be hidden with words but body language, interest in hanging out with his/her friends, eye contact, conversation all tell a woman’s/man’s true intentions/interest.
    Get your own friends, met and greet his, end convo, draw a line… don’t cross it.

  14. budman
    April 23, 2014

    this story is complete fiction

  15. bomboclat
    April 23, 2014

    Lol….that post not making no sense!

  16. Shakespeare
    April 22, 2014

    Go easy people. This is the modern day Romeo & Juliet. Where thou at Romeo? Sitting on a hard cold bench!

  17. Efficatious
    April 22, 2014

    This is a waste of space putting this online. obvious the so call guys were not up to his standard and style.You show no manners and respect for him so his gone.Well done men we have what it takes. Girls you must first respect and then love your man,these two must go together,your mom should have told you. Standards my dear girl standards

  18. dat
    April 22, 2014

    To me this story sound like a children malee.

  19. frenchman chocolate
    April 22, 2014

    That trash is not worthy of Bella’s attention. It’s like idle gossip.. Miss need help, when you have such petty isuues, take it to the internet bug called @ Simply the Truth. That alien strain seem to have all he answers.

  20. dirty crate
    April 22, 2014

    see that’s the difference between a man and a boy i would go get her and give her something infront of them that would make her tremble just to say hi to another guy the next time around some real boo doop boop

    • Baoui Woman
      April 22, 2014

      Woy! Some what? LOL. Haven’t heard that one in a while.

    • rescue 911
      April 22, 2014

      Men don’t hit woman

  21. rescue 911
    April 22, 2014

    Immature fairy tale

  22. Not Surprised
    April 22, 2014

    boy mister worse than a woman start hanging around your female friends my padna see if she likes it

  23. laura
    April 22, 2014

    This is one post Bella should have kept to his/herself. C’mon too childish.stupessssssssssssss

  24. Massacre Girl Abroad
    April 22, 2014

    Lol a story book I read there man! Awa wii allu make my day 8-O :lol:

  25. wow
    April 22, 2014

    seriously ? what did i just read? sounds like its a high school child that wrote this cause doesnt sound like something a grown woman would sit down and consider an issue just saying

  26. EG
    April 22, 2014

    LOL!!!This is hilarious!!!

  27. %
    April 22, 2014

    This story is one of the reasons why i believe many of these things are just MADE UP. “”Artificial Stuff”””!
    THIS ONE IS Tasteless, and forced me to just Stuppesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

  28. 2Cute
    April 22, 2014

    8-O Child go in your books.You sound 12.

  29. blah
    April 22, 2014

    Such a lame story she sounds like a child.. but on the other hand good advice bella for some real adults out there with real insecurity issues and friendship with males or females issue…

  30. Dosand
    April 22, 2014

    Are you for real? this is so lame.

  31. papa met
    April 22, 2014

    mr sounding saftttt

  32. Educator
    April 22, 2014

    Bella, you still alive?

  33. Observer
    April 22, 2014

    This is written like a story…but if it is true, then they the young lady should beware of this guy. This is obsession, not love.

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