Dear Bella: I am between a rock and a hard place and don’t know what to do. First of all you have been doing a good job giving advice and opinion; keep up the good work. I am being forced to choose sides between my second cousin and my aunt.

They have been great people to me; I used to live with my cousin and she used to take care of me financially at one point in my life and my aunt on the other hand got me my first job soon after I finished school and I lived with her for approximately two months pro-bono.

My aunt’s boyfriend told my aunt that he slept with my cousin which is her first cousin and told her that they are still corresponding. My aunt made a big confusion and our family split apart for the exception of me not choosing sides. I am still speaking to both of them. My cousin said that there was no such thing but refused to stop talking to my aunt’s boyfriend. To tell you the truth Bella I don’t know what to believe because my aunt’s boyfriend is a big time liar and he will tell her one thing and go back and tell my cousin another.  Now my aunt is telling me to choose sides.

Dear Anonymous,

You must let you aunt down softly, but still speak the truth which may hurt her. Apparently, this showdown is as a result of a man who is not even faithful to your aunt. Let her know that she needs to stop making this man cause disunity within the family, and you would never choose him over them because that is what she’s basically asking you to do. Tell her how you mean so much to her as well as your cousin and she knows in her heart that her boyfriend is shady, but she is just denying it.

Tell her your cousin was not right to sleep with your aunt’s boyfriend; however it takes two to tango, and while it may be hurtful she has to learn to forgive her cousin eventually. Say to her that you do not want to get caught up in this confusion but you just want your family back the way things were and that’s why you cannot pick sides. Also avoid discussing the matter with your aunt and cousin or participating in any of their gossiping of each other.

Bella.

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