Dear BellaDear Bella,

I am in a situation that is giving me a major headache.

A young lady I had relations with two years ago met me recently with a baby girl, about two years old, telling me the child is mine.

She said she kept it a secret because she didn’t want to break up my marriage.

She said the child is mine and she would never ever give me a “jacket”.

Bella, this took me by surprise. I do not know what to say or do. The child does not really look like me. She looks like her mom. But I do not understand why she would keep that a secret.

I knew it was odd when she just left without notice. She just ended the relationship and left Dominica.

Now, she is telling me all that was a lie. She is now telling me that she left to have the baby and stayed with relatives abroad.

I do not want my wife to know about this as it could mash up my marriage but I cannot live knowing that I might have a child out there that I am not supporting.

I am a family man and knowing that this baby could be mine is killing me inside. But it all makes sense to me now. I always knew that there was something more why she would leave me especially when we had a good thing going on.

Help please!


Hi Daddy2B,

First things first; You need to first establish that the child is indeed yours.

If it is your child, one of the things you cannot do is shirk your responsibilities to the child.

Irrespective of what it might cost you in with regards to your wife, you need to take responsibility for your child. If this is your baby your wife would have to know eventually.

A child should never suffer because parents are irresponsible.


Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at Dear Bella is published every Monday. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that results from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.