Dear BellaEDITOR’S NOTE: After a brief period of absence, our column ‘Dear Bella is back. The column will be published every Monday.

Dear Bella,

My boyfriend is cheap. I mean stingy. In Dominica, we say “Petit-Manyeh”. I’m sorry for saying that but its true. He counts every dollar. I know it might look like what he is doing is simply being prudent with spending but lately, it got worst.

He refuses to spend money on things he needs and when I get things I want he claims I’m wasting money. Recently my birthday passed and he never bought me anything. He believes that to show love, it is only to be intimate.

I mean intimacy is fine but I like to feel appreciated. I buy him gifts all the time. He never buys me anything. His definition of love is always being around me, talking to me, kissing me, hugging me, that kind of thing.

He wouldn’t go to restaurants and have dinner because he thinks its cheaper to cook the food. He would prefer to buy wine and dine at home. He just wouldn’t do the normal things a couple does because he’s trying to cut cost.

He is working and he gets paid well. I’m thinking he better be saving to build our dream home because if that’s not it then id be sad to know that I am being deprived of the finer things in life because of a cheap lover.

I need your advice, should I keep complaining of just leave well alone?

Cheapskate

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Hello Cheapskate,

Material things are not the backbone of your happiness. But I understand where you are coming from. There are many different languages of love. I mean people show love in different ways. It seems his way of showing you love is by being affectionate. Your way of showing him love is by always giving him nice things.

I think this case is one of those “much to do about nothings”. Leave it alone. There are many serious problems people are facing in their relationships like dishonesty and cheating.

Please don’t think that I am trivializing your situation. I just want you to understand where this can lead. It can lead to you being tainted as a materialistic person.

Who knows, this lover of yours may just be saving to build you your marriage dream home.

Appreciate the way he shows you love. Some women get material things and never experience the love of a man. Be content with where you are in your relationship and what you have.

On the flipside, if it affects you so much, maybe during a home dinner you can lay him down and express your concerns. Not in an aggressive way but in a sweet way.

Perhaps you may get a gift on your birthday. But if it doesn’t happen then remain calm and let your relationship blossom,

Best,
Bella

Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at news@dominicanewsonline.com. Dear Bella is published every Monday. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that results from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.