DEAR BELLA: My boyfriend is a cheapskate

Dear BellaEDITOR’S NOTE: After a brief period of absence, our column ‘Dear Bella is back. The column will be published every Monday.

Dear Bella,

My boyfriend is cheap. I mean stingy. In Dominica, we say “Petit-Manyeh”. I’m sorry for saying that but its true. He counts every dollar. I know it might look like what he is doing is simply being prudent with spending but lately, it got worst.

He refuses to spend money on things he needs and when I get things I want he claims I’m wasting money. Recently my birthday passed and he never bought me anything. He believes that to show love, it is only to be intimate.

I mean intimacy is fine but I like to feel appreciated. I buy him gifts all the time. He never buys me anything. His definition of love is always being around me, talking to me, kissing me, hugging me, that kind of thing.

He wouldn’t go to restaurants and have dinner because he thinks its cheaper to cook the food. He would prefer to buy wine and dine at home. He just wouldn’t do the normal things a couple does because he’s trying to cut cost.

He is working and he gets paid well. I’m thinking he better be saving to build our dream home because if that’s not it then id be sad to know that I am being deprived of the finer things in life because of a cheap lover.

I need your advice, should I keep complaining of just leave well alone?

Cheapskate

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Hello Cheapskate,

Material things are not the backbone of your happiness. But I understand where you are coming from. There are many different languages of love. I mean people show love in different ways. It seems his way of showing you love is by being affectionate. Your way of showing him love is by always giving him nice things.

I think this case is one of those “much to do about nothings”. Leave it alone. There are many serious problems people are facing in their relationships like dishonesty and cheating.

Please don’t think that I am trivializing your situation. I just want you to understand where this can lead. It can lead to you being tainted as a materialistic person.

Who knows, this lover of yours may just be saving to build you your marriage dream home.

Appreciate the way he shows you love. Some women get material things and never experience the love of a man. Be content with where you are in your relationship and what you have.

On the flipside, if it affects you so much, maybe during a home dinner you can lay him down and express your concerns. Not in an aggressive way but in a sweet way.

Perhaps you may get a gift on your birthday. But if it doesn’t happen then remain calm and let your relationship blossom,

Best,
Bella

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13 Comments

  1. licia
    July 24, 2018

    or just maybe he’s saving up to propose to you!

  2. Josh Shaw
    June 19, 2018

    this Bella must be a joke!

  3. mine
    June 18, 2018

    You should stop buying him gifts. Pray to God about it.

  4. Paul
    June 18, 2018

    My girl go work for your money all you DA woman too lazy .. doe like to work and love man for what they have… majority of DA woman not working nowhere and expect man too give them things… all you to damn lazy.. and don’t want to educate all you self to be independent.. just look at them all over roseau buYing cloths to look good and they have nothing to offer but sex … what all you think for good loOKs all you ther for man… my advice to you DA woman ..go to school and learn stop the sewo..go and look for work for all you to do… and stop depending on man for their money..

    • Dominican Male
      June 19, 2018

      Actually you will find that Dominican women are more industrious and educated than the men…
      I mean just look at the graduating classes for the High Schools and State College :)

      • true wi
        June 20, 2018

        industrious on their back….

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 4
    • true wi
      June 20, 2018

      sock it to them paul…

  5. Me
    June 18, 2018

    Tell him he is skating on thin ice.

  6. DA fails
    June 18, 2018

    Girl you being used and abuse, how women so gullible, he building allu dream home for his dream woman then he go spend his money :lol:

    • H
      June 18, 2018

      Borjai, your comment reminds me of that movie i just saw ‘Acrimony’

  7. Sams
    June 18, 2018

    Lady my advice to you you are not married ask him to set a wedding date if he can’t leave him maybe he only there for what he can get from u and his dream wife is waiting till his pocket full from yours

    • Hello
      June 18, 2018

      True.
      I was once married to someone like that.

      Presently my children working, and we laugh about it… but during that time it was very stressful.
      I mean he did not want to buy food for the home, clothes for the children, basically he wanted to have nothing to do with spending money in the home.
      I on the other hand did not care since my salary was sufficient to take care of my three children and myself.
      As the saying goes “no sex no love” he left home with everything he owned – I mean everything.

      We now live comfortable and happier lives.

      My advise to you is – assess the situation and if you see that in the long run it will not work for you especially when children begin to come – leave this relationship for a much more healthier one. Once where the two of you will work together in building a very happy home

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