Dear BellaDear Bella,

I need serious help. I broke up with the father of my 2-year-old daughter because I found two ladies in his room and when I asked him about it, he told me to piss off.

I don’t know what went wrong. Now the problem is that I still love him so much I can’t even think straight.

The worst part is that he is now living with that new girl of his. We have been dating for four to five years but he just woke and changed in one night.

I need advice on how to get over the break up.

Need Help

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Dear Need Help,

I was actually hoping that the New Year would start off with some good exciting news that perhaps women are getting stronger and wiser.

This email dashed all my hopes. I think you should take the advice of your child’s father and “piss off”. Why would you want advice on whether you should actually leave this man when he was clear to begin with? You cannot love someone who doesn’t love you. Love is a two-way street. You seem to be suggesting that his sudden non-interest in you happened overnight but I am pretty sure it didn’t.

There must have been some signals you ignored.

But then again you claim that you love him so much you can’t even think straight. Someone once told me “when your heart is broken, fix your mind” and I will borrow that old saying from my friend who left me with that message weeks before he died.

My dear, getting over the break-up depends on your ability to accept the fact that this man isn’t worth it. Think of it this way, what sense does it make fighting to get over someone who could get over you in the blink of an eye? Move on. Learn to love yourself first…It perhaps is the greatest gift of all.

Best

Bella

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