Dear Bella: I need some advice about a situation I am in. Currently I am a working woman and because of my job I don’t have much time for relationships. However, I grew up in a Christian home where I was taught to respect myself and not just give myself away for free.

Recently, this man has started coming to my work place and flirting with me. I gave him my number; we spoke on the phone all the time and I started to fall for him. However, when I did some research, I found out that he lives with his girl friend who has two children for him. When I confronted him he said he didn’t want to spoil a good thing by telling me, and that he really likes me.

He told me that he’s not going to leave his girlfriend but he doesn’t see any reason why as two adults we can’t have some ‘fun’ discreetly. To be honest Bella I could do with some ‘fun’ in my life and I figure if we keep it a secret there are no victims involved.

What should I do?

Dear miss,

As a young adult you should know what is done in darkness will come to light, and what you do with this man will come out one way or the other. You sound like a respectable woman and it’s clear that he is only trying to get in your pants. YHe only sees you as a potential booty call. I don’t have to spell it out for you, because you are already aware of his situation.  Putting yourself up to this man intimately will only make you more attached to him emotionally. Usually a girl can feel strongly for a man if he is her first sexual partner and regarding this circumstance it will only end up in heartache for you. It’s clear: “he’s not going to leave his girlfriend.”

As a Christian then you must be strong not to stray from your beliefs. I’m sure there are many single guys out there you can get to know and share a relationship with and be committed to as a Christian would, rather than have to be looking over your shoulders and worrying if some crazy woman is going to call you up at your workplace or confront you in public. Save this embarrassment to avoid being known as a ‘home-wrecker.’

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