Dear BellaI am 24 years old and I don’t know what to do.

I have been in a relationship with a married man now for some time now. I really love him but he has a wife and child in the United States.

He keeps on saying he loves me very much and don’t want to lose me and now I am pregnant for him.

But I am confused because sometimes he say he loves his wife and other times he changes his mind saying it is me he loves.

Now my ex is saying he loves me very much and wants me back.

My mother told me that I shouldn’t have another child now because that will tie up my feet and she wants me to get married one day. She also said that it doesn’t look good because my present boyfriend is a married man.

I really need you advice.

Unmarried Girl

Dear Unmarried Girl,

As your mother pointed out this whole affair doesn’t look good because your “boyfriend” is married. As a matter of fact all affairs involving married men and young ladies like you don’t look good.

It is obvious the married man won’t leave his wife and child in the US for you. As you mentioned he keeps on saying he loves his wife but then changes his mind saying it is you he loves. He is obviously playing with your mind and is tricking you.

For your own good, you should get out of this relationship now. It is not good for you and in the long run you are the one that is going to get hurt.

If you are pregnant for this guy, I encourage you to keep the child since I do not encourage and condone abortions.

Concerning your ex, have you mentioned to him that you are pregnant? If not, have a chat with him and let him know. See his reaction. He could even end up adopting the child as his own. I have seen it done before and it has worked out well.

The possibilities are endless without this married man in the picture.


Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at Dear Bella is published Tuesdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.