Dear Bella: I really need help. Not even professionals are helping me in this situation.

For the past three to four months, I have been having problems with my husband since one of his friends started visiting our home. My husband started going out a lot, coming home drunk and abusing me in all kinds of ways. We are in court for the abuses and the way he has been treating me.

My husband start telling me that I need to find a job and our intimate relationship was cold; we’re fighting for no reason, so I said to myself something is not right.

I have a protection order against him based on the abuse, and he is taking this for granted, but what I never realized was that one day, I took the decision to go somewhere and I met my husband and his friend with a woman! Surprise! Now I understand why he was treating me like this!

Now I have a big problem. I don’t know what to do. Should I forgive him or divorce him? I am not pleased.  My husband is getting worst and lying to me about the woman. When I saw him I found condom in his bag. And all of that! God help me ’cause we have children and they are very young. My situation is critical.

Help please!  Help!

Dear Madam:

If professional counselling and a protection order are not working out for you, I do not know what else will.  A period of separation may be the answer at this time, or ultimately a divorce if this persists.

Also you have to be certain that he is having an affair. Walking with condoms do not mean he is having an affair with the woman. What really concerns me is the abuse. This is unacceptable and dangerous. It may get worst.

Do you have family members who can take you in until this has settled?

I think you need to get away from this, whether it is temporary or permanent.

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