My husband lives with his ‘best friend,’ a man

Dear BellaMy husband has a home he bought 14 years ago. He has a male roommate, which he calls his best friend, living there the whole time.

Before we got married my husband’s ex lived with both of them in the house. She eventually cheated and moved on to get married to man who could share a home and live with just her, like the way it should be.

I got married to my husband in 2008 but I got my own home a year before that, which he helped me pick out. But our fights have been terrible and he always ended up getting kicked out.

The thing is since we got married he has never actually ‘moved in.’ He had never brought more than an overnight bag. He always goes back to his home

All he does is blame me by saying I keep on kicking him out all the time, when in fact all he does is make excuses all the time when I ask him about him moving in.

I am so sick of his need for his male friends. He doesn’t make our marriage work because its too easy for him to move to his home he shares with all his single friends now. That house of his has become a bachelor pad.

I do think he’s gay at times but he will never admit to it.

I told him some days ago that it’s either he sells his home and make a life with me or he can his divorce me by saying he abandoned me for a man.

How can I ever get pass any of this to ever have a future with him anyway?

Please help.

Lost Wife

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Dear Lost Wife,

From a mile away anyone can smell trouble in this relationship. First of all, why do you two have seperate houses? If your husband bought his home 14 years ago, why didn’t you just move in when you two fell in love? Why did you go get your own house in 2007? Probably you knew something that you are not expressing.

I find it strange that after getting married in 2008 that you two are not living together as husband and wife. Is it that he is expecting you to move to his house while you expect him to move to your house? This is an issue that you have to work out between the  two of you. It seems to me that he doesn’t want to leave his house while you don’t want to leave yours.

Another thing that you two need to look into is the relationship your husband has with his male friend. It appears that he wants to spend more time with him than you. So have a chat with him on that and ask him what is really going on there.

I think eventually you two need to take a hard look at the relationship. I think right now it is not working because you two fight all the time and you hardly spend time together for it to grow.

Now is the time for a good, frank, face to face discussion and see what can be salvaged from this.

Bella

Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at dominicanewsonline@gmail.com. Dear Bella is published Tuesdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.

 

Disclaimer: The comments on this page do not necessarily reflect the views of DominicaNewsOnline.com/Duravision Inc. All comments are approved by DominicaNewsOnline.com before they are posted. We never censor based on political or ideological points of view, but we do try to maintain a sensible balance between free speech and responsible moderating.

We will delete comments that:

  • violate or infringe the rights of any person, are defamatory or harassing or include personal attacks
  • are abusive, profane or offensive
  • contain material which violates or encourages others to violate any applicable law
  • promote hatred of any kind
  • refer to people arrested or charged with a crime as though they had been found guilty
  • contain links to "chain letters", pornographic or obscene movies or graphic images
  • are excessively long and off-message

See our full comment/user policy/agreement.

123 Comments

  1. DL Wifey No More
    May 31, 2017

    He’s obviously gay. Starting fights and repeatedly getting kicked out by wife is the #1 sign of a gay husband. OK, now she knows the truth. Doesn’t mean she has to leave him. Quit giving him head and use a condom with him. If he paid for the house, ask him for it or just stay quiet until he dies, get revenge on his “friend” by kicking him out once hubby kicks the bucket.

  2. Alaska Dominica
    June 24, 2014

    The Irony behind this is this woman is just as stupid as many women through out the world the would have doubts about their husband and the still persue marriages i’m on the down low and i love my men like fowl love corn but these stupid woman just want live you alone
    they are so needy and lonly so they don’t care they just wanna be loved but on another not i would like to sheed some light on some issue every and i repeat every man is gay every woman is gay………………. it just takes the right moment , the right situation and the timing to catch him or her in the moment / act example when they desperately need money , sneakers bills paid , a trip , an evening of drinking etc in little Dominica i have slept with over 500 men all protective sex 300 married dudes so guess what your papa is gay and watch out for the pastor,,,,,,, the politicians , the men who are dirty and rugged who call them self thugs Oh please they are men in the day and ladies at night

    i think Dominicans need to be less critical of gay men and because nothing is gonna change maybe i should publish my list to shake up Dominica don’t be fool we all are gay in one way or the: other its just the time and place ,and the sutuation will be a fuck session

  3. Anonymous
    November 12, 2013

    tell the man u want to rent ur home n u move in wit him and u will see for ur self if he gay or not if he is run for ur life boyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. DOMINICAN
    May 11, 2013

    Then move into his house with him, and simple ask the friend to move out. you need to make time for your marriage. If he fights over the friend moving out than he is covering something.

    • Home&Away
      May 30, 2013

      You two should have worked out living arrangements when you got engaged. Like Bella said it appears you suspected something was a foot but supressed it. Strange all the same. Decide what it is you really want then discuss the issue with your husband: ask him straight up. If he insists on making his relationship with his ‘friend’ more important than with you then move on my dear.

  5. Diva
    January 24, 2013

    So you keep putting him outside but you expect him to give up his home and come and move in with you? What man or woman in their right mind would give up the sure roof over their head to come and live with their “mate” who constantly putting them outside? & When you can answer that question, you will know what to do.

  6. December 24, 2012

    Am I reading this story right? It seems a man lves with another male. He gets married to a woman. She lives for a while with the man and his male friend. The man eventually divorces his wife. He marries again but continues to live (at least part time) with his male friend. His wife is not sure if her husband is gay. She seeks advice. Now either I’m not reading his correctly OR this man is one confused and sick individual. It looks as if he was on the downlow but GOT CAUGHT between the two lifestyles and now scarcely knows what or where he is. He may also have married this woman to use her as a cover to convince certain people that he is a regular straight guy. Unfortunately this marriage seems to have been based on false pretenses. To “Lost Wife” I say this. Find a pastor who is well spoken of and recommended. Tell him your story. See if he will sit down with you and your husband and talk this out in a counselling session. If so, if your husband agrees to put this man (and all other men for that matter) out of his life immediately and for all time and LIVE WITH YOU well and good. But he must do it now. No waiting. No time to think it over. I don’t normally approve of sparation or divorce. But this is not a normal situation. It appears (unless your husband’s repentance proves otherwise) that this “marriage” was based on a false commitment. If this is the case no reasonable person is going to fault you for leaving him. It may be the only SAFE and HEALTHY thing to do. Sincerely Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist. http://www.livinghopeminisdtries.ca

  7. Rational
    November 14, 2012

    While he may or may not be gay, ( I think he is) he is for sure a coward. She is an idiot and that’s all to be said. What kind of woman cannot keep her man at home? Who would allow their husband to have a home with his “best friend” (boyfriend)? If she had any shred of self respect she would walk away. Are you so desperate to have “someone” that you’d settle for miserable life with a man who is clearly gay? If you have to ask, he is. Divorce and move on. Better luck next time. If he’s not gay, he must have a nice little line up of ladies. Either way there is no positive outcome. Chin up and move on.

  8. diamond girl
    November 8, 2012

    girl, let me tell you what to do… tell him that you want a freesome with his male friend and see what he says..
    :-D
    then write back to bella so that i cant give you some results depending on his answer

    • Jersey Gurl
      January 30, 2013

      I agree………mister Gay no ifs buts or maybe…lol

  9. wiseup
    November 1, 2012

    You all Fail to realize the point here you know. Keep in mind the woman(wife) is saying that the man ex girlfiend was having the same problem. All that house business and kicking him out can be dealt with. He having the same problem in the past. My god can’t you people see that something is wrong.

  10. Married n happy
    October 30, 2012

    All u Dominicans too ignorant talking about buggar!If the woman was treating him like a man and not a dog he would have moved in long time with her but she treats him like a dog and maybe his friend makes him feel more comfortable at home.All u might think i am a buggara too but i am a married woman for 11 yrs n have three kids. My relationship has been fine living in “our” house even if there was just a few problems like all other relationships.

  11. DA CLILD
    October 28, 2012

    the husband and his partner bought the house togeather, they are man and woman check it out the woman befor her had a problem to and left to marry another man,marrying to this woman was a cover up

  12. JustMy2Cents
    October 26, 2012

    ok, does your man show any “homo tendencies”? If so your “woman’s intuition” is sound. If that’s not the case, like you said he’s either making excuses to get away to his “Bachelor Pad”, or B. Does not like being around you. You claim that all he does is blame you, but what do you do to help the situation? Here’s the truth; your man has not broken out of the single bachelor/frat-boy type life style. Women y’all walk right into danger sometimes with your eyes wide open, then play victim in the end. The other thing you did wrong was to get seperate homes. What on earth were you thinking? should’ve given him an ultimatum: either he leaves, or I do! And another thing: Women y’all need to understand something, just like y’all need your female companions, we like hanging around our male friends. I do understand that something is definitely wrong with your relationship however. If your man rather spend more time with his male friends, you should ask yourself a question, then you should ask him a question. Communication is key. y’all argue, and go to seperate houses.. What about speaking to a professional, what about seeing what problems lie within? In a relationship sometimes, theres always going to be that moment: the one that sparks that alarm. Then, you seek help from someone professional. Things like these could be solved.

  13. Justice and Truth
    October 26, 2012

    There must have been telling signs prior to the marriage which she ignored. Some women do that. They think the man will change after marriage or they will change him. It does not usually work out that way. He could prove to be a hanger for her jacket. This is what she is experiencing, a non-caring husband. Even though she does not boot him out of the house, he may not change. When she does, it may be for a good reason, not fulfilling his marriage vows. He made a vow in the presence of God and appeared to have no intention of fulfilling it. God knows the heart. Woe to him! His day is coming.
    Woman, get out of that type of relationship. It is an ill wind that will blow you no good during your life. You will never be happy with him. Surely, you can do better than that, finding a real man who will love you; not one whose life is a mixed-up mess.
    In a marriage, there should be one house not two. It is not as if the other one is a cottage out of town. Your house or his house is not a home if he does not love you. Open your eyes.

  14. jerseydominican
    October 25, 2012

    sasa i do know how to speak english why do you think am a male :lol: :lol: :lol: back @you

  15. Anonymous
    October 24, 2012

    There is another story behind this marriage, something don’t add up..and we can babble as much as we wish, but the story lies between…more than four walls…by the time we figure this out we will be commenting on another article..am I right Bella?

    In other words…monkey knows which tree to climb..

  16. hopefull
    October 24, 2012

    gay or not gay why sell ur homes why not rent them out and buy one i didnt hear anything children are their any

  17. DD
    October 24, 2012

    The heading should have read, “My husband lives with his best friend, HIS MAN.”

  18. I'mWondering
    October 24, 2012

    Was this a business arrangement at the onset and then it turned on her end?

    Logically, i cannot understand why a woman would marry a man and not live together from the onset – especially if they are in the same city, area, etc.

    granted – you both don’t need to sell your houses – you could have bought a “together” house instead of all this his house, my house issue.

    I really believe that this is NOT a real marriage because no woman IN LOVE would settle for that crap .. and 4 yrs later you have the balls to give the man an ultimatum?

    Come on – if it’s not working – DIVORCE – you knew the deal before

  19. Pondera
    October 24, 2012

    The woman is as confused as the man.

  20. Dr
    October 24, 2012

    Apparently you can’t speak or write English either it’s not cant is can’t, and it’s not your it’s you’re. So don’t correct anyone if you’re not better

  21. Resident
    October 24, 2012

    My opinion, move in to his house and rent or sell your own. Kick out the friend period. Is the friend paying rent or something?

  22. Too hard too long
    October 24, 2012

    DNO, Where de THUMBS UP ting nah? You still working on it? We missing it, you know!!!! I want to ‘thumbs up’ some people dere, man. (And thumbs down a few too!!!) :)

  23. Too hard too long
    October 24, 2012

    I don’t think he is gay at all. I think he wants to run away from the marriage.

    She always “puts him out” after an argument. What man, in his right mind, would move in with a woman who puts him out every time? He has his house but she wants him to leave his house and move in with her. Well, she know he had his house before she bought hers eh, but she still bought hers. So, I don’t see the problem – live in your house and he will live in his.

  24. Marcus Hill
    October 24, 2012

    “If your husband bought his home 14 years ago, why didn’t you just move in when you two fell in love?”

    Bella,

    With all due respects this is not good advise for our young people to read. People should not be having sex before marriage, farless to move in.

  25. AmazingFace
    October 24, 2012

    I don’t think he’s gay, just weak, and a coward at that. Could be he just wanted a peaceful life. King Solomon used to leave his palace and go chill out on the roof when his wives and concubines were stressing him out.

    The man probably realize from the time they were loving Mamzel just waiting to kick him out for any little thing, so he holding on to his house to have somewhere to go when she start to act up. I mean, come on, think about it. You loving a man, all you making plans to get married the following year and you going house-hunting for your own house, when your boyfriend/fiance have one already??? Mister must have realized that marriage was doomed from the start.

  26. Man alive
    October 24, 2012

    Your husband is neither gay nor bi … He is having his cake and eating it.

    His is a single man with a wife … And a single guys life.

    He is probably also cheating on you …. All DA men do that and he has lots of time to do it.

    Ulitmatum time … Sell his house oar yaours, kick his friend out and be with you … Or not. You may not like the result.

  27. SXM DIVA
    October 24, 2012

    Dominican women Majority of them dont know how to respect a man period i see lots of them out here, they shout too much talk too much quarell too much and dont spend quality time with thier man,this is a fact, dont argue look into it very well make a reserch.at least this woman complaining said it plain, he always get kicked out, woman i hate it when a man or a woman when quarelling sai=ying its my house get out of my house, trust me i will never return to that home am a woman my husband told me that twice but the point is that its our not his,so am going no where for another woman to move in , but u said its your house thats the basic problem dont lament on the man is gay he is no gay, its just that some of u women pretend to be so nice when u dating but after marriage u want to treat the man like u pushed him out of your Virgina not he servicing your Virgina , it goes both way men too. you all need to control your emotions and someof u think u own the man now his life belongs to u to rule ,Hell no am a woman and i dont want my husband to have me that way either , Woman you blew your marriage, with your rude and ignorant attitude to me the man, dont want u as a wife no more maybe you are voilent and u not saying he dont want to be in bondage.and maybe how u got together is not what he is seing for him to marry u is that he loved u, and wanted to spend the rest of his like with u, if he was gay he will be digging pit as they say he will not want u so.get your act together and pray to God to turn your husbands heart to love and forgive u, and accept u back , u rent out your home and go and live in his, cause to me, ANY MAN THAT LEAVES HIS HOME AND GO AND LIVE WITH A WOMAN IS NOT A MAN , HE IS A TEBE AND TO ME THIS MAN IS A MAN, HE DONT WANT U FEED HIM HE WANTS TO FEED U, GO READ YOUR BIBLE GOD MADE IT CLEAR THE MAN /YOUR HUSBAND THATS IF U ARE HONEST HIS IS YOUR HUSBAND CAUSE SOMNE OF YOU LIE A LOT.GOD SAID THE MAN IS THE HEAD OF A HOME NOT U WOMAN, BE TEMPERATE PLEASE, MY ADVISE IS RESPECT HIM AND BE THE WIFE NOT A MONSTER, WHY WOULD U BE PUSHING HIM IN AND OUT , TODAY GET OUT TOMOROW COME BACK IS HE YOUR POPPET HELL NO IF AM THE MAN AM NOT COMING BY U RENT YOUR HOME FOR INCOME AND MOVE TO YOUR HUSBANDS HOME AND RESPECT HIM, I BET IN HIS HOME U WOULD NOT USE THAT CRAZY WORD GET OUT OF MY HOUSE U WILL RATHER SAY I WILL LEAVE YOUR HOME WHICH SOUNDS GOOD, U WANT TO LEAVE U LEAVE NO ONE ASK U TO LEAVE, SO WOMAN GO AND THINK YOU DEAD WRONG STOP EMBARASSING AND SPOILING THE MAN HE IS GAY THATS ENOUGH FOR HIM TO KICK YOUR , BE CAREFUL.

    • Opinionated
      October 24, 2012

      Very good, a voice of reason coming from a woman. :)

    • Funny
      October 25, 2012

      Boi look essay..your advice longer than the article itself man..I cannot strain my eyes like dat awa….see trouble boi…you had plenty on ur chest man? hahahaha

      • James
        October 28, 2012

        hahahahaaaaaaa…Funny I was thinking the same thing.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
      • wiseup
        November 1, 2012

        looool smh….

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  28. Justice and Truth
    October 23, 2012

    Two different homes in a marriage? Pride and self-pride. It is a real commess. Who wants to live such a life ? Take time to do good.
    Some women have no pride and respect for themselves. Why would you fall for such a man and want to be with him and worst yet to be married to him? This type of life and a married one is a complete mess. It will never work and end in happiness. Do you not want children with a husband? Why would you associate and even marry a man like that? The man is making a mockery of marriage and so do you. He has depicted that he does not want to be married ot you and have a faithful marriage. He is not in love with you and does not want the marriage to work. He married out of pretext. It is a game of pretense. If you are godly spiritually enlightened you will know that God did not bless such a marriage. It is a doomed one. Why push it? He is relaying a message to you, one of it is, his infidelity and homosexuality. Surely, based on his actions you should have the instinct to know this. Leave him alone! Get out of this mess! Build a better and happy life for yourself with a man who is not attached to men in such a manner and one who will love, respect and cherish you as a woman and wife.
    Woman, worship God and pray to him for his blessings, graces and enlightenment and He will reveal your error to you. He will protect you from such a man.

  29. October 23, 2012

    Mylady,come and live with me,u need a real man

  30. Anonymous
    October 23, 2012

    This is actually not that difficult to resolve. My husband had owned his home for several years before we got married. And, he also assisted me in buying my own home before we married as well. After we married, I refused to live in his home because it was the home he had shared with his ex and he refused to live in mine because it was not the manly thing to do. Solution, we bought a home together so that we would both be on neutral ground. My house and his house are now being rented and bringing in income and we live in “our” house.

    • Opinionated
      October 24, 2012

      What if there are financial constraints in purchasing a new home?

      • Anonymous
        October 25, 2012

        Then they should sell both homes and invest in one home together, (both names on the deed), if in deed, both parties are interested in having a good marriage.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  31. Think About It
    October 23, 2012

    Ha ha ha you marry a cheechee man a mal mama a buller a fag all in one.Woman put wheels on your heels and run as fast as you can.If it walks like a duck it is a duck not a chicken.

    • Opinionated
      October 24, 2012

      What is your evidence that the husband is bisexual? Living with another man does not make one gay. It is time people stop jumping to conclusions about others without evidence.

  32. princess
    October 23, 2012

    he has a house you go and live in it and kick his male friend out and sell your house to him if your husband goes and live with him he is a guy man

  33. Zenfan Zombie
    October 23, 2012

    Madame, with all due respects,your husband is digging in pit toilets.In other words your husband is a poo-poo pusher.You saw what was happening when his ex was living at the same house and you still choose to marry this man.Open your eyes and stop living in denial.Divorce this buggar man and move on.There are many kind non-buggaring men out there who are looking for good,god fearing women who still have desires for men.Girl, get a comprehensive medical check up every three months for a year just to be safe.

    • mj
      October 24, 2012

      right on!

    • Tut-Tut
      October 24, 2012

      @ Zefan Zombie…”kind non-buggaring men ..” :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

      fenx for the laugh. woosh

  34. commentary
    October 23, 2012

    plain n simple mamselle is really a ”lost wife n dat story jus not makin any sense at all..stupessssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!

  35. Anonymous
    October 23, 2012

    bella you should have asked the woman why she keep kicking out the man.A man is a man, he already knows its ur house and when u keeping kickin him out because u all dont agree on something then……. I would have dont the same thing…. you lucky he even keep coming back and then u wanna say that the man is gay..You wanna play boss so the man leaving you to rule ur house and not him. Humble urself lady

  36. Grotesque
    October 23, 2012

    I think he’s scared of her attitude thats Y he kept his house, just just so that he could take refuge from the constant nagging!U run and buy house without agreeing mutually what is the fate of the old? pls! Is not all man that soft headed

  37. (.) (.)
    October 23, 2012

    This is what you need to do…. have a friend or cousin house-sit for you for a while….pack your bags and just move into his house without even mentioning it to him. Go there and behave like you are the boss of everything (you are the wife, remember that)no battyman should have say over you . Put your foot down and show him you mean business and if he objects to your actions, you give him the ultimatum…it’s either he accepts your being there or you both separate. It’s either your husband is gay or living a bachelor life. I MORE BELIEVE HE HAS SOMETHING SPECIAL WITH ‘his best male friend’. How many men you see who is willing to leave his wife or girlfriend to go spend time with another man? I don’t care if you have a mansion and he lives in a cage….that husband of yours has alot hiding under his belt. Battyman using you to hide his homosexuality.If and when you doing his laundry, check his draws (sliders) to see if it has caca.

    • Too hard too long
      October 24, 2012

      Act like she is “the boss of everything”? Some women not easy eh boi. Act like she is the boss of everything and expect the man to just “take” that behaviour. You want your husband to act like “he is the boss of everything”? you think you would enjoy that?

      • (.) (.)
        October 24, 2012

        Oh please….I’m the boss of everything at our house.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
      • is me self
        October 24, 2012

        some of these b”tch$$$ so disrespectful.most of them don’t want a husband,they want a dog too kick everyday.since when having pride means ur gay?she kicking out wat she expect him too do?best mamzel stay an rule her castle an mister stay in his truuuu wi

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  38. smh
    October 23, 2012

    mon par mem quonette sar pou de quont comess sar lar! smmfh…Good luck

  39. ???????????
    October 23, 2012

    ???

  40. October 23, 2012

    theres 3 sides 2 every story his side her side & the truth
    :wink:

  41. the knot
    October 23, 2012

    My wife has her own house in the city and I have mines in the country we simple rotate where sleep every month,the man in love with his house

  42. Queen Bee
    October 23, 2012

    This is wrong on so many levels……………….I do not know which one to begin with…

  43. Anonymous
    October 23, 2012

    Sister i smell trouble , the only reason your husband doh wonna move in with you is because he mix up. mr is a bogarar and he giving you serious competition .

  44. grell
    October 23, 2012

    this man is gay all the way,a friend he lives with his other wife.

  45. October 23, 2012

    Married since 2008, it is four years now and your so-called husband still goes between your house and his, where another man lives. He is more like a “mating partner” to you–if at all you guys mate–why do you even refer to him as “husband”?

    However, your example is the message that I try to speak to the rest of us, pertaining to the Love, marriage, and sexual conducts in our lives; for in most cases one has nothing to do with the other, especially where Love is concerned.

    Most people think that “true marriage” is the physical ritual conducted by another human being like their self. And yet it is obvious that this is the marriage that is full of vile, discord, and disdain–it is not of God.

    People are getting into those marriages to please society, not God, because society looks down on a couples–even though they are living together in love–because they didn’t do the physical marriage ritualm before a large crowd.

    I believe in the “spiritual marriage” where
    “Love” –not human affection– bonds two people together by their personal vows through faith in the presence of God.

    In this marriage, sexual conducts is justified before God, just as all of our other sins are justified by our faith and trust in the blood of Jesus Christ. After Spiritual marriage couples can do physical marriage, it is their choice–but as human beings, we were not called please other people–we are called to please God because of His mercy and compassion of Love for us.

    So “Lost Wife” you said it yourself, as you admit that you are “Lost” You alone can find yourself.

    The first steps are to walk away from Get out of that relationship of yours! It is not marriage, it is not Love, and most certainly it is not Life–but it the most sorry way for a person to exist in this world. You need to know that truth and to acknowledge it.

  46. two cents
    October 23, 2012

    Can he be more gay? Come on now!

  47. african queen
    October 23, 2012

    after reading i must say the man is living a two life and his GAY GAY ALL THE WAY.MOve on my dear u find happiness some where and with any man BUT NOT MISTER.

  48. UDOHREADYET
    October 23, 2012

    No one can solve your issue but you. My mother always told me that a man should never follow a woman. Meaning if you live in Canfield and he lives in Roseau you two should move to Roseau. There are always extenuating circumstances to every situation but this one is simple, one of you have to give in. Take a look at your marriage vows and see whether either of you are doing what you said you would do. Gay not gay friend or no friend house or no house, the issue is between you and your husband; mainly you being a wife to him and him being a husband to you. It’s easy to label things, circumstances and people you don’t truly understand it’s our human nature, sometimes the best thing to do is to sit back and let the cards unfold, cream will always rise to the top and what is hidden will eventually be revealed. UDOHREADYYET!

  49. October 23, 2012

    This is one dumb made up story. Wheel and come again.

  50. hmmmm
    October 23, 2012

    u always kicking the man out n u wnt him to cum n leave with you….d man build b4 u u never moved in with him but u wnt him to move in with u…wen he sell his house n u kick him out where you want him to go…u have ussues woman not d man..u dnt sound like a fun person u sound like a bossy one mayb dats y he doesnt wnt to be around u…

    • Grotesque
      October 23, 2012

      I would like ur comment a hundred times, Cuz she really sounds like a woman who want 2 have her own way in this relationship. Whats the point of buying another house? The Gay talk sounds more like a nagging wife who is obsessive!

    • As if....
      October 24, 2012

      I totally, totally, totally agree. If he had female friends, she would say he running woman, he has male friends, right away he gay. I can tell she bossy, annoying and a nag. She still admitting to constantly kicking out the man. So if he had gotten rid of the house where he would stay? So long he has his house you just coming and commanding him to sell it. “I told him some days ago that it’s either he sells his home and make a life with me or he can his divorce me by saying he abandoned me for a man.”

      She is a dirty woman, he better get rid of “that thing”

  51. WAITUKUBULI!
    October 23, 2012

    :?: :mrgreen: :oops: Abomination has take over this beautiful nature island!I don’t know or saying that this so called husband is a happy man with his male friend.But why would he not move in and live with the woman he marry to make his wife?My brother,tell the woman straight forward who you are and what you want!Madame,please give him a test yourself and find out whether he loves your back better than front!

  52. FED UP
    October 23, 2012

    If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it’s a duck. Your husband is gay. Move on!

  53. wow
    October 23, 2012

    Move in with the man and rent out your house!!!

    • Reader
      October 24, 2012

      That’s exactly what I was thinking. Guess some people just like to complicate thing.

  54. south
    October 23, 2012

    miss your husband is gay there is no question to that it is plain to see he spends more time with his man friend than u.get real and wake up and smell the cofee

  55. Francis Chicago
    October 23, 2012

    I think something wrong from the start but marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled;but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

    • Justice and Truth
      October 23, 2012

      @ Francisco

      Oh Yeah! You think the bed is undefiled and for everyone? I have heard and read about this but not on a godly spiritual level.
      Think again. Some people deceive themselves that because they get married they have a right to do everything in bed. You should know what I mean. God knows better. It takes a godly spiritually enlightened person to know this. Consciences and actions are to be examined.

      • Francis Chicago
        October 24, 2012

        Justice)undefiled am talking about straight sex only but whoremongers and gay immoralities regarded in a different light.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  56. jerseydominican
    October 23, 2012

    people there are two side to story myside and yourside its not a way one story she knew something was wrong but look the other way

    • joseph theophille
      October 23, 2012

      there are three sides to every story not two, the three sides are your side, my side, and the right side.

    • Justice and Truth
      October 23, 2012

      @ jersey dominican

      You mean, “a one-way story.”

  57. Asher
    October 23, 2012

    Would She Make a Good Wife for Me?
    Character Basics

    □ How does she show submissiveness in the family and the congregation?—Ephesians 5:21, 22.
    □ How does she treat her family?—Exodus 20:12.
    □ Who are her friends?—Proverbs 13:20.
    □ What does she talk about?—Luke 6:45.
    □ What is her attitude toward money?—1 John 2:15-17.
    □ What are her goals?—1 Timothy 4:15.
    □ Is she now working toward those goals?—1 Corinthians 9:26, 27.
    □ What type of entertainment does she enjoy?—Psalm 97:10.
    □ How does she demonstrate her love for Jehovah?—1 John 5:3.

    Assets

    □ Is she industrious?—Proverbs 31:17, 19, 21, 22, 27.
    □ Is she financially responsible?—Proverbs 31:16, 18.
    □ Is she well reported on?—Ruth 3:11.
    □ Is she considerate of others?—Proverbs 31:20.

    Danger Signs

    □ Is she contentious?—Proverbs 21:19.
    □ Does she try to involve you in sexual misconduct?—Galatians 5:19.
    □ Is she verbally or physically abusive?—Ephesians 4:31.
    □ Does she need to use alcohol to have a good time?—Proverbs 20:1.
    □ Is she jealous and self-centered?—1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.

    • October 23, 2012

      @Asher

      What is your point with all of these Scriptures above? You have simply labelled the Wife to be the “shrew or the villain” As far as the story is concerned–that is not the case at all.

      If anything I would say that they are both at fault, so what about the Scriptures, for example this one here which commands a husband to love his wife an “Christ” loves the “Church” and is preparing Her to be “His Bride”. Ephesians 5: 25-28; Revelation 21: 9

      The husband is supposed to represent the head of his family–wife and children– just as Christ is the head of the Church, we are His Body–and He is the One perfecting us, the Church, just as a husband was meant to conduct a perfect marriage and family Life. Therefore, he needs to be the perfect family member to begin with.

      You ought to look into the Scriptures to tell us if you believe that man, in the story, had any business taking a wife, in the first place. As far as we know, he is not the victim here, it is the wife who is “grieving’ as she claims to be lost.

      So if you want to put yourself in that story, it is clear that you will have to be the “wife” and to send the Scriptures that qualifies the man to be your husband–there is plenty of them in the Bible as well, you ought to know that, since you are the one who started this.

      • October 24, 2012

        he also said: woman submitte to your husband,and keep her mouth stil,hmmm

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
    • 123
      October 23, 2012

      What about him??

    • Hidden
      October 23, 2012

      You may be on the righ track. That woman has been unfaithful to the man all along. She is living a life of deceit and adultery. The man is not stupid.

    • Justice and Truth
      October 23, 2012

      @ Asher

      Life is a two-way street. In brief and in general, “Would he make a good, caring, conscientious, loving and faithful husband?” This is what you should also concern yourself with, not one-sided as you quote from the Bible and using it for your own means.

  58. dr a
    October 23, 2012

    after reading this story i dont think the guy is gay ,it could be he dont want the woman to rule him (her house ,his house)and get the better side of the deal.

  59. No Name No Warrant
    October 23, 2012

    I suspect this couple lives in the US and lost wife married Rock Hudson to get the green paper.

    Rock Hudson was some gay actor dude and he lived with his man-friend. But was also married to a lost wife.

    Why does this read like Deja-Vu

  60. justsaying
    October 23, 2012

    My question is was living arrangements considered when you all decided to get married? It’s ok to have yours and he have his but the decision of residence after marriage was supposed to be a pre-marriage decision not a post-marriage one. An “overnight bag” does not equate to living together. U might as well be single. And the fact that he prefers the company of his male “friend” than being in your company is questionable.

  61. dg
    October 23, 2012

    Honestly, as soon as i start reading this, i sense a bossy, controlling behavior in that woman. its obvious that she wants to have her cake and eat it. You are no longer a totally independent woman. I think the logical thing is to move in with your husband since he has had his home for 14 YEARS. You keep kicking out the man, how do you expect him to feel?. you are taking away his manhood! Now, try moving in with him and putting your house up for rent. If he IS in fact gay, then the truth will come out and you leave him high and dry and move on with your life. In the meantime, protect yourself against STDs.

  62. October 23, 2012

    From what i just read it seems

    1.like your husband is gay and dont want to tell u,

    2.he is a child,if he dont want to move in with you and is expecting u to move in with him.WELL THEN that sounds very childish.

    You both should have gotten to know each other better before getting married.COMMONSENSE………

  63. Envar
    October 23, 2012

    To begin with, this is not a marriage, a big part of the story is missing and in this hard economic time it seem that you all are rolling in doe. because the sensible thing is to rent one house while you live in the other, i am happy that you all have two houses i do believe that a woman should be so independent as to afford her own home and the man as is norm should provide a home for he and his wife.

    Lets not be hypocrites, your husband loves ass, hard muscular ass, he enjoys the presence of the male and basque in their presence.

    A divorce wont be hard in this case i do not think there would be any fight move on get a man who loves the company of woman and you can have a son so you eventually have a male living in the house.

  64. Sukie...Sukie
    October 23, 2012

    good answer Bella, Lets see what is the outcome..hhmmmm

  65. STRAIGHT & PROUD
    October 23, 2012

    This is very obvious my dear that the guy is interested in men. Who gets married and after 4 years still dont live together when you both are in the same country? I must say though you have love for him to be bearing this kind of life style for so long. It may be the extra “manly” odors and feelings that have u hooked. Body ordors have alot to do with attraction. Its a scientific fact u could look up. In the mean time find a way to assert yourself and stop this gay behaviour from ur husband.

  66. Citizen K
    October 23, 2012

    your husband using you for a cover.

  67. STRAIGHT & PROUD
    October 23, 2012

    This is very obvious my dear that the guy is interested in men. Who gets married and after 4 years still dont live together when you both are in the same country? I must say though you have love for him to be bearing this kind of life style for so long. It may be the extra “manly” odors and feelings that have u hooked. Body ordors have alot to do with attraction. Its a scientific fact u could look up. In the mean time find a waybto assert yourself and stop

  68. Free Mind
    October 23, 2012

    Smells gay
    but that’s probably because not all the details are known? does your husband’s friend have a wife? or a girlfriend? Obviously they have separate rooms since his former wife used to live there. In addition I certainly wouldn’t sell my house if I’m constantly getting kicked out of yours. especially a house I bought 14 years ago and am certainly further in my mortgage payments than you are. why not move in with him and rent your house on short term leases. At least you’ll make some money to pay your mortgage and you’ll have a closer look at your husband’s lifestyle with his friend. Have you actually spoke to your husband about his friend finding a place? Is the house a 2 story and the friend lives upstairs? Can’t judge but there are so many possibilities to just jump on 1

  69. MUDD
    October 23, 2012

    My girl you didn’t learn well at all. If his exgirlfriend left him because there relationship was not growing with the male friend in it what make you think you can make it grow. Batty man he is.

  70. Unwanted
    October 23, 2012

    If you think your husband is gay then honey HE IS!! How can you be married and your husband living elsewhere with another man? It’s not as if you all are in different countries/islands or states? I almost want to think you knew the man had his issues and like many others you inserted yourself with your kankan his ex cheated on him. Newsflash she didn’t cheat on him, she just got it right and buckled the hell outta boomboom town! You need to do the same

    • AmazingFace
      October 24, 2012

      “boomboom town”…..*dying of laughter*…that one is the winner for me, hands down.

  71. ISLAND GIRL
    October 23, 2012

    NOT EVEN BELLA CAN SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM EVEN THOUGH ITS AN EASY ONE,BUT U CAN SOLVE IT YOUR SELF BY TAKING OF THE MASK ON YOUR FACE TO SEE THAT YOU ARE JUST A BIG COVERUP.SIMPLE BUT TRUE YOUR SO CALL HUSBAND IS GAY.

  72. G
    October 23, 2012

    He is GAY, plain and simple. Well you can leave him to, don’t wait on him.

    Do what your heart tell you to do.

    Why, one night you sleep over his house and see what goes on there or just pop up on a surprise visit.

  73. dominicanoversee
    October 23, 2012

    He could be gay or not,but why would this man leave his house when she mention that she keep putting him out ,whenever they fight.It shouldn’t be like that,you are self and he is too,what happen to what is urs is mine.U two don’t need to be married plan and simple……

  74. Piper
    October 23, 2012

    You want HIM to file for divorce? You seem to be the one with all the stress, why don’t YOU file for divorce?

    By all accounts you dont have a marriage. While it is still fresh and since you did not mention children, I suggest you talk to a lawyer and YOU file for a divorce.

  75. simply blessed
    October 23, 2012

    he is just using you as a cover up for people not to think he is gay. Legalize gay marriage and see how fast he leaves you. stop being a cover up and move on. you have your own house, live your life.

  76. jerseydominican
    October 23, 2012

    here we go u need to talk to ur husband

    • October 24, 2012

      :twisted: hey I have one good solution:

      fellas lets buy a larg bottle of hennesey conaiq,and get him to drink with us,go back home and show who the boss :lol: :-D :mrgreen:

  77. loot
    October 23, 2012

    y marry and u haven’t lived in the same house for at least a year..dont rush marriage ppl

  78. ani
    October 23, 2012

    story doesnt make much sense to me, might sound better if names were given. THEN that would sound spicy

    • Envar
      October 23, 2012

      yeah i believe or give a better clue……

    • (.) (.)
      October 23, 2012

      would you like someone to come on here and mention your name in a sour relationship?

  79. ella
    October 23, 2012

    After readijn your story your husband is a gay.

  80. ha ha
    October 23, 2012

    please lady how stupid can u be???? the man issss gay he acts gay.he prefers male company to yours.

  81. assuass
    October 23, 2012

    i want to her the husband side of story

  82. Observer
    October 23, 2012

    She didn’t train him right!

  83. Jase
    October 23, 2012

    He’s living a double life and is enjoying it. Thanks to you – you encouraged his actions from the beginning of the relationship; therefore; there is no turning back for the dude. He is gay and proud! You should move on with your life and get someone who will love and appreciate you much more than him. You only his cover up for his bad habits.

  84. Shameless
    October 23, 2012

    Look lady, I think you are married to a battyman on the down low. Plain and simple 8) 8)

    However, if you think he is straight then thats you opinion. At this point, you need to drop the man if he wont move in because he is PLAYING YOU for the fool he thinks you are. Give him a week to move in permanently and put the house for sale or rent it to bring in some more income. If he wont do it, divorce him and move on before its too late.

    Assertive, NOT Agressive!

    • jerseydominican
      October 23, 2012

      why do think he needs to sale his house why can’t she sale her house.

      • October 23, 2012

        BUT WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO COMMENT. :-x

        1. you cant speak good english :cry:

        2.is not SALE is SELL :lol:

        3.YOUR A MALE,that is why you think she should sell her house why cant he do the same,since his house is older than her’s. :lol: :lol:

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
      • Justice and Truth
        October 25, 2012

        “Sell!”

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  85. opinion
    October 23, 2012

    married, live in the same country but differnt houses..hmmm. i have to question his relationship with that forever male friend of his, or maybe he just doesnt want to live with u. But then, y get married.. i’m baffled, but maybe someone has a good advice for you..

Post a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

:) :-D :wink: :( 8-O :lol: :-| :cry: 8) :-? :-P :-x :?: :oops: :twisted: :mrgreen: more »

 characters available