A lot of times I’ve been asked my likes and dislikes for women. Truth is women can get on our nerves, but we just can’t seem to do without them. But how can we? God made them and gave them unto us for a purpose.

If your woman is ugly, more than likely she can cook and clean well. If she is cute and sexy, more than likely she can’t do anything in the house effectively. So what should we do? One way or the other a woman is needed.

Here are my dislikes:

1. Boring women: I hate women who do not talk much or do not know how to conduct a sensible conversation. Ever go out with a girl with friends and in the middle of talking about politics, she starts talking about a famous school teacher? Ok? How is that related? Or when you ask her to comment, she says “I don’t know hehehehe” or “ok, really hahaha”. Stupes. Some women don’t even know how to get a man excited about his day. She just can’t stimulate discussion.

2. Talkative women: Yes, while I admire an intelligent woman, I hate women who talk too much. Some women like to take over a conversation and control it. If she asks for your opinion, she tells you what she thinks you want to say, and she blabbers and blabbers. She talk so much that she bores you to death. One moment she is talking for half hour about her family then she starts about her favourite pet who died. Arggghhhhh!

3. Farting women: OK ladies. We know God made butt and holes and we know the purposes of it, but for the love of Mary, if you wanna fart, just go somewhere and do that – away from us. And a woman’s fart is one of the worst to smell. It is almost poisonous. Believe it or not, I had an ex who farted and almost caused a total blackout of my mental state. I regained consciousness when she turned the fan on.

4. Nasty talking women: Most women like to talk nasty. And I don’t mean sexual nasty, I mean talking about their period, when they farted, how it smelled, and all kinds of gross things. Please keep it to yourself if you want some sex.

5. Gossipy women: Women who love to talk about other people are not my kind. You ever had a girlfriend who always come home with some news about somebody? It’s like every night: “Nice guy? Guess who taking Janet man?” Gees, it’s irritating.

6. Secretive women: Ever met a girl who keeps everything secret? She does not want you to know anything about her past. People like that are not to be trusted. If she is shy to talk about her most intriguing childhood experience, that’s a stop sign.

7. Girls who have no fashion sense: I love a woman who can dress, not overdress. Some women are like natural models or fashion designers. They make their man look great. Sometimes the look of your man says a lot about your woman, especially if she lives with you. If you live with your woman and you look like a paro, then she is probably mentally ill.

8. Women who can’t cook: Now if she can’t cook, find someone else. She is a waste of time. After the sex is finished, what else can you love? A lot of these young women nowadays are all about beauty, style and fashion, but they cannot cook to save themselves but they love to gossip and fight over man. That’s why husbands use them as side meat because they have no use otherwise. If you’re 18 and can’t cook, you need to get a life.

9. Cheating women: If your girl has ever cheated on you, that’s a sign to move on. She will do it again. Cheaters don’t change. They only cool down for a while. Cheating women cannot be trusted and they lie a lot.

10. Vegetarian women: Now this might sound petty, but if your woman is a herbivore, most times it’s not a fun life because as a meat eater she will want to gross you out with her stories. And usually women who just eat grass are not really looking healthy and sexy. I mean come on. You can’t even enjoy a KFC with her. She only want fries because “it comes from the earth”. What the *&^%?

Anyway, that’s my top 10. More to come another time. See ya next Friday.

Nice Guy is written by an A-Hole so don’t take him on. He has woman issues and would like some help (writing is his therapy). He is also seeking a Nice Girl to compliment his column. He can be reached at nicestguyonline@gmail.com.