I cannot ‘stand up’ with my wife

Dear BellaMy wife and I have been married for 17 years and we have three children. I consider her to be the most beautiful and sexy woman in the world.

However for about a year now I began to realize that I cannot have a full erection or ‘stand up’ when we are intimate. At first it started like a ripe fig but has gotten from bad to worst. Presently it cannot even ‘stand up’ at all when I am with her.

So I dreaded that I was getting impotent and my wife and I agreed to get some viagra.

However, about six months ago I met this young lady and to make a long story short, we ended up getting intimate. The thing is as soon as this young lady even touches me it stands up straight like a sergeant in a parade. This was a big relief for me because I realized I was not impotent.

But the problem persists with my wife and I have to use viagra when I am with her and go natural with the young lady.

Now I am feeling guilty and I want to stick to my wife and go natural without the viagra when I am with her.

What should I do?

Need to stand up

 

Dear Need to stand up,

I think years of marriage, the rigors of life and the stress of raising children have taken its impact on your love life. Below are some tips to bring the ripe fig back to life. And also stop seeing the young lady. This will eventually bring pain to somebody.

  • Communication is the key to a healthy and active sex life in a marital relationship, so talk with one another more!
  • Share with one another your sexual desires.
  • Talk with one another about your expectations concerning lovemaking. False or unmet expectations can hurt your marriage.
  • Sexual intimacy is a continuing process of discovery. True intimacy through communication is what makes sex great.
  • Sex in a long lasting relationship can deepen and become a richer experience. No matter how many times you have made love to each other, the wonder and awe of mutual attraction can still be there.
  • When life becomes busy, and schedules are hectic, plan for sexual encounters with one another. Make sex one of your main priorities.
  • Try to set the mood in advance.
  • If you want to have good sex at night, start the foreplay in the morning.
  • Let your spouse know you care and are thinking about him/her throughout the day by notes, e-mails, phone calls, hugs, etc.
  • Don’t expect your spouse to be the only one in your marriage who is responsible for romance. You both need to take responsibility for having an intimate and successful marriage.
  • Hold hands more often.
  • Schedule date nights.

Bella

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123 Comments

  1. strength
    April 24, 2012

    these men are just liars. they are making excuses for their nastiness. These married men ar worst. I feel sorry for some wives. Some of u think is u alone they have fool yourselves. Now the style is married man loving married woman. my God look curse. How can u be married and loving another married person. For thing i know God destroyed 2 cities because of nastiness. Look out

  2. strength
    April 24, 2012

    try new things boring women all u want to do is lie on ylur stomach fool. there are millions trying to do what u dont want to fool

  3. Anonymous
    March 30, 2012

    so when a young woman write and says she sleeping with a married man the response is… u wrong, u wrong, u wrong!

    and when a married man write and say he sleeping with a young woman.. the response is about his ripe fig??

    look nonsense!

  4. Anonymous
    March 21, 2012

    u don’t have any feelings for your wife anymore so u cant get hard for her at all.Am sure u realize that for yourself.come on,but your wife will always be your wife.

  5. :-)
    March 2, 2012

    I hope is not those small short-crop fig he have.

  6. KI
    February 27, 2012

    please cant u all see this dude is fronting to get you all reactions. funny how one person talks about sex he gets 105 comments. hmm why not talk about.God ,the holyspirit,eternal life.

  7. cwell
    February 27, 2012

    HA AH AHA HAHAHA HAHAAH AAHAHHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA

  8. Anonymous
    February 25, 2012

    maybe if he would fertilize his crop his banana would not get ripe

    • AnAmerican
      February 28, 2012

      Roll that by me again? What?

    • jesus we need mercy
      May 8, 2013

      hahahahahahahahaa allu dominicans is the best

  9. Truth
    February 24, 2012

    I understand. It’s both of you… women have their intuition and so do men. Your little head knows something your big head cannot see/comprehend. In this instance listen to your little head and try to figure out why it doesn’t like your wife. Most likely she in turn may feel the same way but it’s not so easily visible.

  10. sexual healing
    February 21, 2012

    i really enjoyed this one….Guys think outside the box….ladies you all are no exception….take care of you’all sh.. If it was a woman in your position I would SAY to her leave the dude cuz one of the main reasons for a woman to not give her all in bed is if she has the inclination that her bed mate has another mate of his own….but my friend this ripe fig thing is an excuse for you to shop outside…spend some time thinking of All the advice you got on here…check with your Dr. Cause all you men too hate to visit ur Dr. When Last you checked ur pipes? And for all those of you who gave rotten advice or just said sh…there are people out there with these problems even if DNO may be fabricating some stories some one with a similar problem might just stumble upon this….you never know…lets just try to be more positive when writing Genius good Advice…I guess your girl singing “I aint leaving him”

  11. toopa too
    February 17, 2012

    @ Anonymous
    YOU ARE SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!

  12. freakie-Tees
    February 17, 2012

    The wife is aging and the young flesh is more exciting and tantalizing.Dump the wife and check the young ting for sex.

    • dominicansSOIGNORANT
      February 18, 2012

      TYPICAL DOMINICAN MAN!

  13. country girl..
    February 16, 2012

    Wa Pappy Dominique ni DR LOVE….Dr. Phill where are you….
    Now….my diagnosis..Your little RASCAL…IS THAT THE STORY YOU TOLD YOUR JUMP OFF? you don’t feel for your wife no more….WHY NOT TELL HER THAT YOUR DAMME WIFE IS INTERESTED IN OTHER MEN….QUESTION…HOW OLD ARE YOU…AND HOW HARD CAN YOU GET IF YOU’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 17 YEARS…YOU OLD SHOULD STICK TO YOUR VIAGRA..BECAUSE WHEN THE TOP UP AND BUS FEAR STOP OP COMING OROUND…..YOUR HEN IS GONNA FIND A YOUNG ROOSTER…
    YOU WILL RUN HOME TO WIFIE…SHE WILL BE GETTING HER GROOVE ON…NOW SEE WHO HAD THE PROBLEM?….

    NOW VIAGRA WILL DO SHIT FOR YOU…IF IT DOSE…EVERY ONE SHOULD TIE THEIR GOAT…JUST DON’T PASS CLOSE TO MY DADDY PIG PEN…ROVER WIFE JUST HAD PUPPIES..JUST STAY AWAY SHE IS STILL IN PAIN…HARD

  14. eatinginbed
    February 16, 2012

    I read all the comments made but not one ever addressed this guy’s problem. I think he loves his wife very dearly and wants to satisfy her in bed at all costs. I get the impression that there is not too much wrong with their love life except that lovemaking has become somewhat routine and monotonous, as does happen to couples married for as long as they have been.

    I also got the impression that neither of them are very innovative when it comes to making love. They seem to have completely forgotten the most delicious aspect of intimacy, “sucking”, or “eating” as it is most affectionately called.

    If he was to open her up and eat her really sweet, he would find that he would immediately get the most erect hard-on he has ever had, while at the same time making her reach great heights of ecstacy she has never experienced when she would cum in his mouth allowing him to swallow her sweet and most precious juices.

    This would engender the exact opposite reaction in her, whereby she would automatically gravitate towards his prick (hopefully it will be “BIG” and “LONG” because all women like it that way) and without being asked, she would take the hard wood in her mouth and proceed to eat it sweet as well, and perfect union will be achieved when he would cum in her mouth and she swallows his thick juice, making them the perfect, loving, married couple

    • AnAmerican
      February 28, 2012

      Dang Shawty, you real graphic on here! Yeesh! This aint right and you know you can’t be writing all that on here man! LOL! Goodness!

    • :-)
      March 2, 2012

      Ok ok ok… ok… ok ok… ok…………ok enough

  15. Think About It
    February 15, 2012

    He’s just a player tired of his wife and want something new in his life that old punk arse.I hope and wish he would stay up like a tent pole and never get deflated so he would have to stay home all the time and never walk the streets again,man you take the cake shame on you. LMAO

    • AnAmerican
      February 28, 2012

      17 years….wouldn’t you be tired?

  16. toopa too
    February 15, 2012

    These married men sick!!!!! They want to live both statuses. If there is a problem with his performance with his wife then why he cannot talk about it? he never said that they did not have a good relationship but just the sex thing. Come on….it seems like only his conscience is in the way of standing with his wife. Maybe the young girl is more experienced in her wiles. That man should be ashamed. This young girl could well be a rat carrying some diseases. Married men like you who run around with much younger women will get whats coming to you because you take an oath before God. If your marriage has problems seek help. If the problems cannot be fixed then leave…get a divorce and move on. Wanting to enjoy the fun of the single life while being married will only cause The wrath of the Almighty to come down on you when you least expect and too late will be your cry. Over the years have seen the fall of many a married individual who lived the double status been brought down low or dead. Take warning!!! And to all the young girls….if any of this type approach you with any proposal be sure to TELL THEM OFF!!!! Keeping your dignity and self respect will stay with you. But getting involved with a man whom God have cursed will just cause you to share in the curse. those type of men have a history of affairs with single women outside their marriage, seldom have one single lover and cannot commit. I am talking from experience!!!!!

  17. (DSI)
    February 15, 2012

    Sir I think u tring to say u have no filling for ur wife . But what u must remember . U mad a vow . Now u don’t have filling , tell ur wife the truth and ull see how fast u stand up next time . May be the sex is bored so. De damm poor lady can start doing something to excite it now that she no u how u fill . But u not saying anything how she nows if it bored she maybe all have an idear u cheating wake up man . Talk to wify , after all.

    • bram bram
      February 15, 2012

      it’s “feeling” not “filling”

  18. Waitukubuli
    February 15, 2012

    I agree with LR – It is all psychological. He is no longer excited about his wife. It’s all “up there”- mentally. Indeed, he needs to cut that crap and stop blaming everything else but his appetite for other women.

    Marriage now-a-days is treated like a rendezvous.

    Keep up your nonesensical acts – sleeping around- you will wish you could stand up like a “ripe fig” when you get what you get.

  19. LR
    February 15, 2012

    zo ka tweh mwe la ….look advice…gosh i cant stop laughing out loud! [email protected] dr love 101……true that in marriages the men and some women think the mission is over and so many times that cause marriages to fail but it still dont mean sex is all….BE SPONTANEOUS BE BE SPONTANEOUS.! i just find “mr canna stand up” is being selfish..cause gosh the woman poke maybe crying for attention…cus right now he getting satisfied else where and poor her getting “ripe fig” longing to maybe feel a hard ^*%$ inside der!!lmfao

    • baby
      February 15, 2012

      SO TRUE IM LMAO

    • JAMES
      February 18, 2012

      some men just stink….Man go home 2 ur damn wife and stop fooling urself…U MIGHT JUST SUPRISE URSELF ur damn PIG..

    • AnAmerican
      February 28, 2012

      What is zo ka tweh mwe la?

  20. LR
    February 15, 2012

    well it seems like u get pretty excited when u meet the young lady “mr cannot stand up” but when you are with your wife you are not….and its the whole idea of intimacy with your wife that has u feeling like a “ripe fig” so cut your crap with the young woman….really and truely these days no matter what you do u cant get men to b faithful…..im sure if you told your wife what exactly the problem is in the first place maybe she could have done something to spice things up….the kids and the home and work to take care of and you but yet you turn and be a cheat!! COMMUNICATION!

  21. Anonymous
    February 15, 2012

    As far as i am concerned, you are an unfaithful evil dirty rat. You cannot please your wife, now you going to dig elsewhere and then try sticking it back in her?? You sicken me!!!

    • CHING CHONG
      February 15, 2012

      AIDS he want to gived d lady

  22. Francis Chicago
    February 14, 2012

    Fallen mankind, walking out the vanity within their mind searches for ways to fulfill sensual, fleshly lustful passions,and when they find them those passions pull on their carnal nature.Sinful nature of man it is a differnent way of walking, outside your design.

  23. Lone Cowboy
    February 14, 2012

    One more thing “Mr cannot standup”….LEAVE the young woman alone, your’re being unfauthful and that’s adultery. Stick to your wife, preserve your family.

  24. shy
    February 14, 2012

    Well i will have to do what it takes to keep my husband because it seems like it’s a war now to keep your man.I don’t know where i will get money but i will go to the salon more often and i am not that big but i will still go to the gym to get more flexible.Oh ,he will have to dish out more money if he want me to look good.Well home distroyers the war is on, bring it on :-x :-x

    • ....
      February 15, 2012

      big ups to u @ shy!…i when dey married is when dey seeing light and is when dem home wreckers seeing more light too…it good to divorce dere bloodclat when u fiond out and take dem for all the shit they dont have and more! mofos! i hate a lying, cheatin married man! n dem woman still have guts u know! wck say..doe fink u have d rite cus u pass on d ride….truss me is juss a ride u takin!

      is war dat out dere for husband and man dem days with dem gartez wass dey have out der! i will jump all way, sing all song open all open for my husband eh even if i 40+!

    • AnAmerican
      February 28, 2012

      Erykah Badu has a song called “BOOTY” girl please. You can work out all day, get your hair done, EVERY DAY, ya know “Nails done, hair done, EVERYTHANG DID” (Drake), it ain’t gone mean nothing when the lights go out! Dudes, REALLY don’e be checkin for the superficial stuff real talk…

  25. Guada massive
    February 14, 2012

    d problem is most women when they’re married just forget d part of bein sexey & attractive for their husbands.wear sexy outfits,hav d nails & hair done, continue d resturants, a bit of clubin, family seabaths, all these things stimulate yr sexual life;13yrs of marriage & still bein dat sweet sexy lady when he first met me

  26. Advice
    February 14, 2012

    Maybe u need to spice up your sex life with your wife. Rather than having sex in your king size bed- take her out- make love in the most impossible places with her (I am sure that’s what you are doing with the young lady). Talk dirty to her and take on a new image and a new attitude in your sex life with your wife. Bring some wine and fruits to bed, whip cream and some hand cuffs. Show her who’s boss. Excite her so that she will turn you one. Do the freaky with her too and not just the other woman.

    Let her see a new man in you- teach her to swing on chandeliers and climb up the walls like a tiger.

    Try these new things and you will see surprising results.

  27. C/bean Gnius
    February 14, 2012

    Really and trully when i read some of the comments on here, i have a total understanding why slavery lasted so long. Everytime the slaves would plan a revolt, a slave would sell out the plans just to go live closer to the master.
    Or why south africa with all the gold and diamond and lands are oWned by the whites.

    WE BLACK PEOPLE HAVE NO UNDERSTANDING OF THE REAL VALUE OF ANYTHING..

    Our lands and its natural resources are worth way more than a f****** lousy bridge. When we allow all our resources to be taken over by foreigners with more paper(money)than we do, and our kids have to work like slaves just to make a living i hope the bridge wouldnt seem useless at that time.

    We need to get rid of that beggars attitude…

    • bwadiab
      February 15, 2012

      How do you know that the ones commenting on this issue are black, or even “Mr. need to stand up” is black? Come on, open your mind.

  28. SOut city shabin
    February 14, 2012

    lol ripe fig boss mi bab a leh DNO

  29. Serena
    February 14, 2012

    Boy oh boy, been married for quite a couple of years now. Gotta make sure that Mr. Woody is very numb before he leaves that house. Work or play. :wink: :wink:
    Someone else will have to deal with the ripe banana issues if that someone exists. :wink:

  30. Domerican
    February 14, 2012

    Man if you were so smart you would have figured out that this young woman of yours is no good. If she can sleep with you, a married man, I wonder what else she is doing in your absence.

    • bea
      February 15, 2012

      thats to tell him she will sleep with anybody else deh cant leave married man alone and think is good deh doing than sin on them shame

      • AnAmerican
        February 28, 2012

        Yeah, no sin is higher than the other…NEXT>>>>>>

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  31. KoKo Naughts
    February 14, 2012

    OK, that is my area of expertise aself aself aself. Sir, you call that certain young lady moments before wifey gets home and tell her what you wanna do to her. Then as soon as wifey gets home…by lavway!! ..BTW I hope that info gets to you before wifey find out about certain young lady eh, or else you will have to write us back with a diff problem.

    • SOut city shabin
      February 14, 2012

      lol lol what i seeing there na

      • AnAmerican
        March 3, 2012

        What does your name mean? SOut, “I heard” that mean, house n versus field n…gansta shawty

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  32. Envar
    February 14, 2012

    Listen to me dude, you have some nasty dirty ways and you so full of guilt that you get anxiety when you next to you wife< come clean man you like carling young tings. Secondly there is something in your subconscious that you dread about your wife, maybe a guy put a shot on her and you know it and little by little that knowledge consumes you or maybe you were never in love wife her and just began to realize it.

    change your cokay setting, mans spice up your marriage sex life get a dildo bring the young ting you have over make some 3some or get out of the woman's life before it turns into a disaster.

    stupid excuse you sick….

    • AnAmerican
      February 28, 2012

      HUH? Are you for real? Anxiety? Look, clearly his sex life with his wife is a bore.

      What is a cokay? I mean, the 3some…well thats just nasty, but it may work for them.

  33. Toosense
    February 14, 2012

    Well i will expeerience anything with my husband as long as it keeps him at home. I doh want my man going out there and eating no rotten coconut and then coming and eat my sweet relish.If i have to go on my neck for him i will. I think you and your wife need to talk about your sex lives and come to some kinda reasoning about it. Don’t just stay there and eat in cougar town and when u finish say i don’t like my wife’s food. When another man will start eating from your pot then u will cry.

    • Anonymous
      February 14, 2012

      Yes I.

    • pahwol
      February 14, 2012

      well said toosense, well said. Stop eating from every other person’s pot. add a different ingredient to your pot and spice it up a bit, give it a different flavor when you can. but doh leave your good clean pot that you have been working on for years for something everybody putting their hand in. watch it, it might seem good but it sour.

    • LR
      February 15, 2012

      @toosense you doh lie at all….many of these couples fail to talk bout their sex lives…same thing he up and about doing with the young woman…sure it aint different from wa he been getting through the 17 years…..man think bout themselve too much what if she start feel he cya tan up and find she want fresh buddy….how would he feel bout that for real…some men just too dun selfish….!! with all these ish out there next thing he will bring home something …

    • INPUT
      February 16, 2012

      to the person who gave the thumbs down it seems u just like the man or maybe the young bratt that’s giving him the free food. Stupees

    • AnAmerican
      February 28, 2012

      OK, WHY is everything you saying a “SIMILE” or your using too much “PERSONIFICATION” I need a translation on what you said.

      What does “DOH” mean? You DO or your DON’T.

      Relish? Is that how your referring to yourself? Coconut, as in ALMOND JOY coconut, that may be a little sweeter than relish. You put relish on hotdogs…ok, I quit….

  34. Cari
    February 14, 2012

    To the women out there. I’m sure most of you would have tried everything possible with your boyfriends and husbands. One day, for some reason, he had an affair. Why is it your fault. You were advised to try new things even when you did everything in the book. Some of you agreed to be defiled from the behind, starved yourselves to stay slim, break your butt at the gym, and gave him babies. Plus you are educated. Yet he still got another woman. Is it still your fault, or are the men just plain ‘woof, woofs’.
    Then one day his fun and sanity came to an end when you got another man. Strange eh.

    • INPUT
      February 16, 2012

      well when and if that happens leave the dog alone kiss him out cause that is what he will deserve.

      • INPUT
        February 16, 2012

        kick him out sorry

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  35. Dominican
    February 14, 2012

    Man, your wife will feel sexy again when she get her own young flex. The medicine working for you – it will work for her too. When she start taking it I hope your soldier doesn’t go back to being just a ripe banana.

  36. come on
    February 14, 2012

    leave the kids by grandma, and just you and your wife stay home get some porn videos and look at it together and explore. wifey now and then ever so often give him a lil bend without panties for example you in the kitchen his coming pretend something falls and bend over and pick it up making show the fruit is grnning in his face. if this man still does not comes up he has a serious unfaithful problem

  37. bea
    February 14, 2012

    as a married woman new things help been married 14 plus yrs and my husband and i try new things all the time it will help just this weekend we did a few new things and hmmmm that’s all i will say …take her out its not only penetration but get a little more freaky get some toys make it excited some oils

    • KoKo Naughts
      February 14, 2012

      Married 14 yrs and just this past weekend allu try a FEW things..a a, allu wasn’t doing nothing before, man? Me, after 1 month I was recycling stuff already wii..

      • Dominican
        February 15, 2012

        after only one month you already recycling? You didn have much, man?

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0
  38. Anonymous
    February 14, 2012

    Your battery charge in Estate man!!!

  39. REFRESH
    February 14, 2012

    DR LOVE 101, some of what you say I agree … if you do not give it to your wife the way she wants it try new things, it is true we ladies get tired after kids but what is the man excuse… he can try something new too… why is the blame always on we women…he is the one with the trouble NOT the wife and he needs to stop saying he love his wife and go to the young thing when he is the one having the problem… remember he said he and his wife talked, what did they talked about, I am sure she did not tell him to go find another woman, Why so fast he get another woman (young) after he and his wife has been together for 17 years… eh!… he needs to go fix himself and make love to his wife because if he not giving it to her she will find another MAN….

  40. fatty batty
    February 14, 2012

    GET TO THE sea and river and you see how the ripe fig will stand up you and wife bring back the fun times you and her once shared , talk ,hold hands take moonlights walks send the kids to grandma and grand pa and do fire works every corner of the house u wish it’s yours talk about the fun days laugh and get ur selves in the mood and see what happens.

  41. C/bean Gnius
    February 14, 2012

    Some women think that getting a man and marrying them is all it take. As soon as they get the ring, they stop being sexy. You meet them slim and sexy, now they get fat, they start to look dull and dress up in old granny clothes…

    Women here are some advice i always give my women friends..
    1. If they man get attracted to you if you slim and sexy who tell you he will be attracted to you when you get fat and dull?
    2. Keep your ish tight and interesting, high heels and lingerie, stay of the bed and for god sake do something other than missionary position.
    3. Do your hair now and then.
    4. Try new things even if you not use to it, do little research whether is xxx dvds or kama sutra.
    5. Always remember a man want a lady in the street and freak in bed.
    6. Dont be afraid to ask if he like how and what you do and be open to improvments.
    7. If you dont want to do things to please your man, their are alot of people waiting to do it. So when you say i dont do this and i dont do that, prepare to share him with someone who willing to do this and that…

    Thats the best advice you will ever get coming straight from a man… lollll

    • Phenomenal Woman
      February 14, 2012

      @C/Genius: You are so right!

    • REFRESH
      February 14, 2012

      C/Bean, I hear you but some men are so stupid and hasty, if and when the woman say give it to me hard, or let’s try it that way, he right away will say oh you F*** another man how the hell you know that and so forth, trust me DA men want to e men so tell them to try new things when their wives say lets do it that way WELCOME it and not beat them or call them names… than sex in bed will be DAMN!!!!

      • Advice
        February 14, 2012

        If the man has to ask you some dumb questions while you in the process of spicing up your session. Stop walk to wards the door and show him the way out. That’s some crap. Some DA men really suck!!!

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0
    • shy
      February 14, 2012

      Marriage is not about competing with other women.It’s just like if he gets cripple you have to stay with him because you entered into it for better or worst.The body changes with age ,it dosen’t matter what you do.Some men just dirty always want diferent flavours.

      • Milly
        February 14, 2012

        NAH NAH NAH, ITS ALLWAYS ABOUT A COMPETITION, CAUSE ITS LIKE A MAGNET, ONCE A MAN IS MARRIED…ALL OF A SUDDEN WOMEN SEE HIM, AND VICE VERSA. SO ITS UP TO U TO DO THINGS TO KEEP UR MAN. AND EXCERSISE IS NEVER A BAD THING, KEEP URSELF HOW HE LOVED AND MET U. KEEP IT REAL, NO EXCUSES. I AGREE THAT SOME MEN WANT DIFFERENT FLAVORS, BUT U HAVE TO MAKE URSELF A COMBINATION OF FLAVORS TO KEEP UR MAN SO HE WONT NEED ANOTHER ONE. !

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 2
      • C/bean Gnius
        February 14, 2012

        In a perfect world you wouldnt have to compete because you are married to him. But in this world everything is a competition, even to survive its a competition..

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0
    • beautiful lady
      February 14, 2012

      C/bean Gnuis

      i agree with you to a certain point, it is true that after some woman get married they just let themselves go, but a man should know that after having kids there are possibilities that his wife or woman can gain weight. it is true also that to keep the relationship going that we must try new stuff, but some men exaggerates, if u know ur wife cannot do certain things why put her in uncomfortables positions to please yourself, after sex both partners should be happy, not one happy and the other one in pain. so look for positions that both of u will find pleasure doing (especially her). and lots of man needs to know how to keep romancing their wifes, women are not the only one to keep the fire burning. u dont expect to treat the woman any old kind of a way, talk to her anyhow leave everything up to her to do never call to say i love u or whatsoever and when u come knocking on heavens door the pearly gate must open and welcome u in with a smile and all that. its not suppose to be that way.s So my dear c/bean gnuis, we both have very important roles to play if we are willing to keep this thing going

      • Lady-like
        February 14, 2012

        Caribbean Genius, it is so very backward that the modern woman is put into this constantly revolving cycle of mental slavery of ‘keep doing, and do more to hold your man’.
        Which man, you? When she owns her own house, car, and a salary that is 3x yours? 8-O She can afford to pay a night at a hotel with a young buck, you know… Even as a married woman.

        Young unmarried women eventually get old and fat too. Lots of single women have droopy breasts and overlapping, stretch marked bellies. Don’t pin point married women just to find a sore excuse to justify your dirty little ways.

        Is it a form of masculine control? Letting women think that they are worn out after a while, so you get another girl, then dump, then move on, or juggle 4 at a time??, with your broke a**? :oops:

        Hahahaha. You all have moved on so much that you’ve reached the depths of the pit toilets and are stuck there. Check yourself.

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 2
      • C/bean Gnius
        February 14, 2012

        i totally agree..
        But men are very easily turned on, and if you cant turn on a man then something is wrong. The man said he doesnt have that problem with the younder sexy girl which means it have to do with attraction to his wife.. She lost whatever attracted him..

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1
      • C/bean Gnius
        February 14, 2012

        @lady like

        If you want to have a healthy marriage in this modern world? Yes the woman has to do to keep her man and vice versa.
        But its all good if the modern woman want to spend her money for a one night stand, or drive in her ride while her husband walks with the younger i will do for you woman. Or lie in her big house thinking how much she achieved while her husband in the small house pleasuring the young i will do for you woman.
        Life isnt fair and thats the first thing a child learns. It is what it is…..

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0
      • Lady-like
        February 14, 2012

        Oh please, wutever, i dun with this discussion. You men get women with perfect bodies, perfect everything and are never satisfied. I understand perfectly why dildos and lesbianism are so common these days. Maybe you’d like to comment on buggery?

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0
    • bea
      February 14, 2012

      well at time dem man take up things that more dull dan deh wife so its not always that way

    • bram bram
      February 14, 2012

      I agree with what somebody below said. They say they wanr a woman who is a lady in public and a freak in the bedroom, but when you start being freaky they want to know where you get that from, and they start to mistrust you. So as far as I see either man doh really know what they want, or they know self what they want…more than one woman! Sometimes a woman well want to be different but just for the man not to say she “come out” and question it she will act the usually. Communication and trust is key where the couple can talk about ANYTHING. THE MARRIAGE BED IS UNDEFILED. Fellas don’t be so closeminded and let your woman show you what she can/ or is willing to do…so you have no reason to look for thrills elsewhere!

    • shh
      February 15, 2012

      c/bean Gnius
      you doing all that and yet they still go.

    • LR
      February 15, 2012

      are you kidding me…..seriously????u can go on your head they will cheat…u do hair bla bla bla bla and the list goes on…..these d/ca men dont kno wa it is to appreciate let alone see your hairstyle they might more complain and say u wasting money so non u can do to really please them and i think its time some of us women stop do things to please these bastards cus they na satisfy…

      • bram bram
        February 15, 2012

        I agree with you, but i’m just saying when it boils down you want to know it’s not on you. Yes at the end of the day if a man want to stray he will…i always say if man can cheat on halle berry is not me so they wouldn’t cheat on. magwesa..what to do.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0
  42. D
    February 14, 2012

    After 17 years of marriage? Some men are not easy eh. I want your wife to find out you cheating on her for her to give you a lick of wood on your waist and you will see what happens to that “ripe fig” of yours. Man your marriage vows said “for better or worse.” It never said to include somebody younger when your “ripe fig” cannot “stand up.”

    • Folly
      February 23, 2012

      you have to be from the North… I just lmao on ‘lick’

  43. shy
    February 14, 2012

    For me i think you just want to cheat.How you expect to stand for your wife when you have somebody new and probably younger than her?I wonder how you would feel if she fliped the script on you

    • Milly
      February 14, 2012

      i AGREE, FURTHER MORE, DONT U THINK UR WIFE NEEDS UR “RIPE FIG” ATTENTION? ALL THE TIME IT STANDING UP FOR SOMEONE ELSE, SHE NOT GETTING NON, AND WE WOMEN DO GET HORNEY. SO I GUESS SHE NEEDS SOMEONE WHO CAN GET IT UP….HOPE UR NOT MAD WHEN SHE (AS SHY SAID) FLIP THE SCRIPT. CAUSE WE WOMEN ARE VERY SECRETIVE, SHE WONT COME ON BELLA FOR U TO FIND OUT!

  44. Gangsta
    February 14, 2012

    Ok, so should wifey go get a young stud out there and fulfill what you are unable to accomplish with her?
    Think about it. You think it’s right that she is the one who has to suffer?
    Plus, I take it that you’ve been faithful for 17 years…??? Then suddenly you are seeing someone younger…??? Ummmm, this kinda gets ‘strange’ here….
    Makes one think that your problem is psychological…. Also, yes, you may be suffering from some degree of impotence… you’ll soon find that you’ll need a new fling to get it up again… watch and you’ll see…

  45. Pure Honey
    February 14, 2012

    Bro how you like your chicken –Do you like plim on it or not. How bad can your wife chicken be anyway with or without plim on it. I came across some terrible and stinky chicken and yet uncle wood take me into the battle zone armed and dangerous. Wait until a next dude going down town to shop for you and you will need gwopwelagra instead of Viagra.

    • lol
      February 14, 2012

      Good post!! had me laughing

    • LR
      February 15, 2012

      im in the office laughing really loud and my boss thinks im crazy seriously …lmfao @GWOPWELAGRA

    • Folly
      February 23, 2012

      Thats the best post ever.. You guys have me screaming down my office!!

  46. Original Eagle-Eye
    February 14, 2012

    He MET A YOUNGER WOMAN!! Ladies sometimes we become complacent. He may be using the infidelity as an excuse but clearly the fire has left the room between them. Time to reinvent your bedroom tactics and take it to the outdoors. Buy her lingerie and other sexy outfits. Fall in love all over again. Revisit that which first turned you on. Sometimes people just get complacent in relationships. 17 years is a long time to throw away make your wife your girlfriend and start all over.

  47. Phenomenal Woman
    February 14, 2012

    Nice advice Bella. Both of you need to try new things to enhance your sex life and save your marriage. Getting involved with this young lady was the worst thing u ever done, u need to get rid of her or else your marriage will be ruined. LADIES: No matter how hectic or stressful life can be at times we need to take time to cater to our men or another young lady like this one will surely take over! I wish u luck my friend :)

  48. Keeping it Real
    February 14, 2012

    This sounds like a spiritual attack on your marriage. You have to start telling yourself that this woman was given to you and she does her best to please you, now you need to start focusing on those things and enjoy her. And it shouldn’t be about sex- how about days of just layign there and touching or talking? Just spending intimate time without “trying” to stand up. The thing about trying is taht it makes us more nervous and we don’t get the result we want. Stop trying.. just start enjoying the moments and it will get back to you.

    Second you have an issue that you need to deal with. How did you end up with another so quickly? Could it be that you were emotionally involved with this young lady and this led to a physical involvement? We need to guard against these things.

    Break the link between you and this yound lady. It is a pathway to disaster for your marriage. You need to stop it NOW.

    • Barbie Doll
      February 14, 2012

      @Keeping it Real: Very good advice…couldn’t have said it better

  49. Dominican Child
    February 14, 2012

    My boy get adventurous! Take ur wife out on a drive n go up a feeder road or in a shed! Let her give u head like in the days bk, u will see how stiff u will get!

    • sexonthebeach
      February 14, 2012

      i agree my brother so many romantic spots it have in dominica ….u lapsing wi pal i find

    • Dominican for sure
      February 14, 2012

      Yah DA have romantic spots, but ppl fraid to take the risk, with all the kidnappings and robberies, etc

  50. oh really!
    February 14, 2012

    I hope this was not just a reason to go out and try something new. If you need viagra for your wife…then use it.

    Allu can still check allu sin. Doe know y u had to add 2 more legs to the equation.

    I think is just an excuse. You wife complaining about your soft willy ?…NO.. u just too self centered and ego centric. How u think ur wife would feel about u having another woman. BWENASS!

  51. Ebony
    February 14, 2012

    YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT THE ISSUE WITH YOU WIFE IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE AN EMOTIONAL ISSUE AND NOT A SEXUAL ONE.

  52. Ebony
    February 14, 2012

    Y

  53. pool bwah
    February 14, 2012

    Padna u need some serious Vio water to drink for u to stand up like a banan corn

  54. papabat
    February 14, 2012

    @….. You doe hear nothing yet maybe at least the wife behaving herself unlike one wife who go on a trip and then when evidence start to show she lead the husband to believe it was his package she was carrying. Now nobody holier than her. lol mi daybah eh!!! Thank papa Jah I single

  55. big
    February 14, 2012

    my boy i have a medicine for you. squeeze some lime in an ice cream cone, put one passionfruit, a young coconut then drink that. when u done eat the cone and my boy, u will be the last man standing trust me.

    • Anonymous
      February 14, 2012

      that works for real?

    • yes
      February 14, 2012

      How an icecream cone holding all that? lol

    • Anonymous
      February 14, 2012

      yah i checking that best i just put that in a glass man

  56. doh tie me
    February 14, 2012

    ‘it started like a ripe fig’ then ‘stands up straight like a sargeant in a military parade’.. :lol: :lol:

  57. February 14, 2012

    I think the wife not doing a proper job… cause if he find his wife sexy then he is attracted to her sexually…. but probably she acting like mother theresa when it comes to business… let your wife know that all kind of styles have to come through when that time comes… lying down on her back and just taking a jook jook not going to work after 17 yrs of marriage… she have to get wild like a cougar n tear your meat apart…

    • I IN DAT
      February 14, 2012

      YA TRUST ME YA DAT WORKED FOR ME

      • Anonymous
        February 14, 2012

        well i have to try that one we :)

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
    • plain jane!!!!!
      February 14, 2012

      jook jook! LOL! u killin me! lol!

    • pahwol
      February 14, 2012

      ki ca!!! “tear your meat apart”. what that mean…aye aye…whooosh that tickle me…i guess she have to really put it on him. its a pity though…because different positions and freaky sex is not what makes sex enjoyable, wild and satisfying – all de time. it is the foreplay that will prep them for de session. not because 2 freaky people lie down together that means they will always have a sparking sex life. wine and dine each other as though you all first meet each other. look at her like you might lose her any day and she has to do the same. that intimacy all you will develop will keep you all close and a very touch will be a “jook jook” session waiting to happen. in my humble opinion.

    • LR
      February 15, 2012

      @mouth of the south….what do u consider to be a proper job huh? cooking,cleaning,take care of kids and him….etc etc lets just say….and who the ass taking care of her….so only sex she getting and still say she na do better job??and yes if he find she sexy and attactive he should stand up so therefore she aint the one wit he issue afterall…the same eye he already cast on another he well distracted so he more curious in wat the lil side ting have to offer…what about her needs?is he alone want to be satisfied? too many times we make it seem like its the man alone that need to be sexually content….that’s if he even give the woman an orgasm after sex..he sound like the kind that would just take it and go sleep and doh bother if she cum or not….

  58. .....
    February 14, 2012

    papa mi gawdddd…Look things in Married Life…u mean to tell me is so it is den…whoosh

    • February 14, 2012

      stupessss…. you doh know married people that having better sex… get your ring for you to experience urself…. why do you think sex is for married couples hhhmmmmmm

      • DR LOVE 101
        February 14, 2012

        awah wi Mouth not all married people having better sex at all. Most of it is a ploy and hypochrisy. They empty and unsatisfied and afraid to talk. Men ego big they won’t want their women to tell them honey let’s try this, women shallow and naive they fraid if they say I would prefer this then their man will ask where you get that from. It’s a lose lose situation, so they do the same ole, same ole and come in public and front, while they’re bursting for excitement inside. Many women become tired and lazy in marriage especially once they have kids. They don’t take care of themselves. A big ole panty and flat taytay on a bed. Those men, kanson with holes, their belly big, or they’re always tired.

        Cook together, brush against each other, use your veggies, be creative. Send flowers for no reason, put a sweet note in his pocket just so. So once you married the conquest is over. I’d be dammned if my husband for 6 years take me for granted. Stay there and say I’m not doing this and that, and the same thing he’s knocking you for, Shequana and Lawansha doing it and stealing your husband. I’m a professional slut for my husband.Dominican women need to liberate themselves sexually and our men need to embrace it and flex with it, because they damn well like it so

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 43 Thumb down 3
    • Anonymous
      February 14, 2012

      lmao!! yes we .. u see the power of the young flex!!!

      • plain jane!!!!!
        February 14, 2012

        i looooooooooooooogve that peice!

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

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