BUSINESS AND LIFE: Have a drink on me!

A friend recounted to me a statement made by a bartender at an all-inclusive hotel where she spent the weekend, and while it was humorous, I saw behind the laughs to a deeper meaning. She said a guest was annoyed that the bartender did not get his drink “just right,” and displayed his annoyance vociferously. After the guest left the bar, the bartender, mainly to himself, but she overhead, retorted, “If I had listened to my mother, I would be wearing a shirt and tie, and not a t-shirt saying, ‘Have a drink on me!’”

She could not stop laughing while recounting the incident, however, I was able to see beyond the laughter to the serious issues raised by this statement and determined that this was going to be the topic for this week’s article.

What you may be asking are the issues raised by this statement, uttered by a young man, in his early to mid 20’s, at a point of frustration? The issues I see include:
1. Regret
2. Acknowledgement of a mother’s guidance, direction and love
3. Missed Opportunity
4. Unfulfilled Purpose
5. Second Chances

So often in life, we use that word, “If,” and though there is an old saying, “If climbs no hills,” we often fail to pay heed and so the cycle of “If,” continues. The young man was obviously expressing remorse for his failure to listen to his mother’s words of advise, encouragement, hope and love, in particular where his education was concerned. I can only imagine, (since I was not there and so could not engage him in discussion) that in his younger school days, he was not interested in learning and his education and would often play truant, and his mother unceasing words that he needs to take advantage of his school days to “make something of himself.” He heeded not those words and either left secondary school before reaching 5th form or having reached 5th form did not do well at the CXC examinations. This then limited his further education and job opportunities. He secured the job as a bartender at a top hotel and he may have accepted this as his fate, however the words of the guest, and I daresay, this may not have been the first guest who would have treated him with disrespect, brought to the fore the feelings of regret, remorse and recall of his mother’s words of advise and guidance. It also conjures his unfulfilled aspirations.

He had the opportunity to complete his secondary education with good grades and though he spoke of a “shirt and tie,” this speaks to missed opportunities to fulfil one’s purpose. We all have a divine purpose and we have a responsibility to discover it and fulfil it. These words tell me that in the quiet moments and at times when the actions of others make him feel less, he reflects on the life he aspired to, the life he could have had; the life he was destined to live. One of my sister Connie’s advice to us was ‘when we settle for less than we deserve, we get less than we settled for.” And this is such a case.

He settled for less than he was destined to be, less than his potential revealed, less than his mother desired for him, and in so settling for less, the life he has is less than he even settled for. He settled to be a bartender, not because that was what he wanted to do but what he could most likely get. He maybe did not give it his best because for him “it was just a job,” and he got less than he settled for: the disrespect of some guests and the wearing of a t-shirt which he did not like, as he does not like the words, “Have a drink on me!”

This is where I now come to second chances. Were I present when this scene unfolded, I would have told the young man that it was not too late to heed the advice of his mother, that he could go on to fulfil his purpose and live his dream, that he need not make the words and actions of others make him feel less. I would tell him he has the opportunity to make the change he desired. I would tell him that while he is bartending he should aim to be the best bartender, that he should cultivate his habit and attitude of excellence and this will carry him into his next step of his journey, for excellence is a habit. I would advise that he saves to enable him to further his education or invest in what he desired. Bar tending provides the opportunity to meet people of all walks of life and he should use this opportunity to build his network of contacts who may assist him on his life’s journey, for the guests are not all disrespectful, rude and obnoxious.

I would advise him to go back to his mother, and I am hoping she is still alive, so he can apologise to her, ask for her forgiveness and tell her he is ready to heed her advise. I would tell him to ask her for guidance and direction on his options. I would also tell him to find others who can help guide him, who have already walked the path he intends to walk, to be open to advice and analyse the advice and arrive at the decisions best suited to fulfil his purpose. I am sure his mother’s heart would be gladdened and she may declare, “God truly answers prayers!” Mothers typically never give up on their children even when they stop talking. If she were dead, I would still advise that he makes the change and fulfil the promise she saw.

The fact that in his mid 20’s, the young man could still be referencing the words of his mother tells me that parents, guidance, aunts, uncles, elders should not give up on their children. They should continue talking, giving advice, guidance and direction and importantly never cease praying. Some may not be receptive at 13 or 16 but may be receptive at 18, 19, 20, 21, 25, 30 or older. A parent’s job is never over, so keep loving, keep talking, keep praying, for at the right time, they do pay heed.

I can be contacted at [email protected] or Tel: 767 449 9649.

Until we meet again, may the Lord continue to Keep Us in the Palm of His Hands!