BUSINESS & LIFE: Sponges

In my introductory session when I teach, one of the things I tell the students is, “I don’t want any sponges in this class!”  There is almost always a collective, “Sponges?”  I go on to explain that sponges are people who sit in a class and say nothing.  They listen and absorb everything that is going on, learning from the sharing and experiences of others, however they offer nothing and so none can learn from their experiences.  To get anything out of them, you have to squeeze and in some cases, squeeze so hard that it becomes a painful process.

I tell them they must come prepared to listen and learn however they must also come prepared to share so that others can learn from them.  Learning is a two way process, you get so much more when you share, when you work with others.  Throughout my student life, I have worked in groups and with others.  Often times, I would be the teacher, explaining things.  I remember one friend saying to me while at Cave Hill doing my undergraduate degree, that I was spending so much time helping others, I would fail.  I said, “No, while I was helping I was reinforcing what I knew.”  Many times, someone would ask me to explain something that I took for granted and in explaining I would truly understand the concept, so that irrespective of how the question was phrased, I understood and could answer correctly.

Sharing also makes others more willing to help you when you need help.  I remember in my final year, I just could not understand a concept in Production Management and try as I could, I could not get it done.  I remember asking a friend who said that she could not understand why I could not get this, as it was so easy and I grasped the more difficult ones.  Three days before final exams, I still had not understood the concept and asked another friend, who spent about two hours explaining to me and like eureka, I got it!  I have never forgotten that good turn, for many persons would not have devoted two hours to someone three days before a final exam. When I thanked her most profusely, she replied, “Valda, you would have done the same.  You have spent so much of your time helping me and others, this is a small way to say ‘thank you’.”

This weekend I was facilitating a Teambuilding and Leadership Retreat and in discussing the concept of servant and authentic leadership, which I have written about before, one of the tenets is connection and relationship with others.  How do we build relationships?  How do we connect?  We connect and build relationships by sharing, by opening up to others, by welcoming others into our world.

In organisations, very often there are too many sponges; people who are unwilling or afraid to share, to be vulnerable, to reveal their true selves.  They keep their opinions and feelings to themselves and expect others to guess their needs.  When those needs remain unfulfilled as they are unknown, they become even more resolute that their modus operandi, being a sponge, is the right way to be, and so the cycle of unhappiness continues, which mushrooms into disgruntlement and low morale.

It is easy to recognise those persons for their unhappiness is palpable.  You see it in their eyes and movements; you hear it in their voices and words.  They say I don’t need anyone but truth is, they do need others.  They are just not willing to admit it and in their denial, they become more isolated and cynical.  They do not trust others and believe that people are out to harm them. Unfortunately sponges are present at all levels in the organisation and are even more destructive when present in the leadership.

We need to believe the best of others and that does not mean that we are oblivious that people make mistakes and a few may wish us bad, and give of our best to others.  We need to know that others are willing to be of help to us and that we are loved.  We need to reach out for help and reach out to help others.  We need be prepared to show our vulnerability.  We need to be prepared to learn from others and allow others to learn from us.  We need to be open to the beauty of others and of this world.  We need to know that others are here to love and support us and to be our friends and we in turn must be friends to others.

We need to reflect on the words of Bill Withers song, “Lean on Me.”   We need to be there for others when they are in need and we need to reach out when we are in need.  We just have to call and be open to the call of others.   Sponges are often those afraid to share their joys and especially their sorrows.  Let us not be sponges and work with sponges to open up and share more.

I can be reached at [email protected] and Tel: 767 449 9649.

Until we meet again, May the Lord continue to Keep Us in the Palm of His Hands.