Am I a sex addict?

I think I have a problem. It started when I was roughly 12-years old. It was then I notice that I love sex. At first I thought it was just hormones or a teenage thing since we were told in school we normally go through that stage.

But as time goes by I realize that love for sex has turned into a burning urge. I want it more and more. No matter what I do, I feel I want more. I have been with a lot of guys hoping that one of them would put out that fire but it won’t stop.

In a sense I know something might be wrong, maybe an illness but on the other hand I am really enjoying it.

So I am getting more and more confused. I am 17 now. Am I a sex addict? Will this thing pass?

What should I do?


Dear Anonymous,

Based on your description you have a sex addiction. It leads to unhealthy sexual practices and habits. It is a disorder which can have damaging implications to you emotionally and psychologically.

It can be treated but it requires you to first admit and accept that you have this disorder. Having done this you educate yourself about the disorder to learn ways by which you can treat it. The treatment comprises controlling the impulses or addictive behavior and this requires discipline and commitment.

You may be enjoying the feeling but you need to be mindful of the need to develop healthy sexual behaviours and practices which does not include a variety of sex partners. You should also consider counseling.

Ironically Dominica News Online’s health column published an article on Wednesday, March 30 called “Compulsive Sexual Behavior.” It is very informative and you should read it.


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  1. February 7, 2013

    Anonymous: Your letter was posted two years ago But unless you received genuine help for your problem you are still suffering. Others out there – men and women – have the same problem. So I am writng this hoping that you will look back at your column and find something helpful n my comments and maybe somebody else will also. Anonymous, first let me say I don’t think you are a “bad” person, just a sinner like the rest of us. Unfortunately, you fell into a trap when you were very young. I congratulate you for having the courage to reach out for help. There are obvious reasons why you must break free from this lifestyle. I want you to consider them again now even though you already know them because being truly MOTIVATED is a key to your deliverance. (1) You run the risk of becoming infected with a STD, even HIV. (2) You run the risk of an unwanted pregnancy. (3) What you are doing could trigger depression or another serious mental illness. (4) What you are doing will give you a bad reputation which will cause good and descent men to turn away from you. (5) This lifestyle will bring you into contact with bad people who will hurt you terribly. Your life will become a series of failed relationhips and endless hurts. You deserve better. You can change! So here goes. Yes, you do have a sexual addiction. An addiction comes when ANYTHNG gives us intense pleasure. Our body adjusts accomodate the intensity of that enjoyment. When we don’t receive it our bodies naturally crave what they have become used to. Sexual addiction is one of the worst because of the dangers involved, because it touches in some way so many parts our beings, because it affects many areas of our lives, and becaue it involves other people. This is why God gave the human race laws to live by and some of these tell us hat we MAY do and what we MUST not do when it comes to sexual behavior. One of those laws is simply this. Sex belongs in marriage. Outside of marrage between two people who are not legally married to each other it is a sin. But you are already trapped in a sexual addiction that involved your body (and this includes your mind) so it must be treated like an addiction. Please talk to a medical doctor, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist. If you don’t know where to find a good one you can ask a school counselor (make sure he or she is a qualified and reputable one), or talk to the administrator at your nearest hosptal. Ask to speak to them in private. Share your problem. Ask them if they will recommend a doctor – if possible a mental health professional. The cost is something you must ask about so don’t be afraid to ask about it and see if hey can accomodate you in that respect. Anonymous, the other side of your problem is spiritual. You need to encounter Jesus Christ and be saved – born again – by personally believing that He died for your sins on the cross and rose again! You must then receive Him as your Saviour. Please get your Bible or New Testament and read 1 Corinthians 15:3-4, Romans 1:16, St. John 1:12, and Revelation 3:20. I invite you to visit my website Go to the right margin. Click on to the EAGLE COURSE. This 12 Lesson Workbook Manual can be studied from the screen OR copies absolutey free! The very first lesson will explain how you can received Jesus Christ as your Saviour. When you do this He – Jesus Christ the Son of God – will begin a healing work inside you that will completely transform your life. In fact it is so powerful, if you get to Jesus first you might not need any further treatment! Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

  2. Jeffy
    September 9, 2011

    Do your parents love and take care of you?

    Most girls who develop problems like this is because their dad never looked after them and cared to listen to them.

    the best way to learn about God, is to look at a really good relationship between a child and its father.

    God is that perfect father. He listens and cares.

    Talk to him. He can hear you.

  3. sincere
    May 31, 2011

    sweet heart you r so young like myself and for u to already be sexually active thats disturbing furtute more before marriage. u need to seek god and to pray to him for dileverance from this sickness and start to leave a pure and chaste life. and telling her about marriage is not out of cpontext because the bible said if we can not control our sexually desires we should marry. this is better than commiting fornication

  4. orange
    April 4, 2011

    u should get tested first and foremost

  5. orange
    April 4, 2011

    shawty you should get tested..and try and start over

  6. ...some advice
    April 3, 2011

    It bothers me that someone would suggest to this girl to get married to solve this issue. Is this muslim person talking even considering the implications of marrying someone who is still a child?

    Furthermore, it bothers me that so many seem to think that what the young lady is going through is in some way evil, wrong or unnatural. Having a high sex drive is something which happens. The young lady simply needs to seek guidance on how to not make the situation affect her negatively.

    For starters she should visit trained persons, who can assist in the area of her dilemma. She can talk to the experts at her local family planning/planned parenthood organisation. She should be taught how to use protection for the times she does have sex with someone else and learn how to satisfy her needs by herself as well.

    • Muslim_Always
      April 3, 2011

      Ah you want her to fornicate but you find it a problem to marry. What a sick society!

  7. Muslim_Always
    April 2, 2011

    The age of consent laws need to be reviewed. It is Allah who place these urges and feelings there, the thing is she needs the correct channel to release that tension. Young ladies should be able to get married at 12 and 13 in this country.

    Dominica is a hypocritical sick society. Our people are too shallow minded. Jesus cannot solve the problem because he is not the creator.

    If she was in an islamic country all she would have to do is ask her father to find a suitable partner for marriage for her. It would be a family affair. The girl still has a right to consent to the individual when her father presents her. Or, the girl has a right to point on someone she is interested in marrying then she takes it from there.

    People in Dominica are so ignorant! There are many girls her age going through that that is why they are experimenting. They using their black berries at school to watch porno whilst class going on. You think those students easy!

    It is time for Dominicans to face the reality and change our stupid views on family and marital life!

    • BMI
      April 2, 2011

      I consider myself to be opened minded but, this is one of the most disturbing opinions I’ve read on DNO. Wow. I don’t comprehend views that allow pre-teen girls to seek marriage. Basically, you’re saying because she has urges she needs a husband? So what about the 2 year old girls that start discovering they have holes in many places. Or the six year old that saw mammie and daddy having sex and decides to experiment with her male friend, then realizes that she enjoys that little tingle she gets. Should we as Dominicans prepare them for marriage also? What about the 8 year old girl that first gets her period, we all know sexual urges comes along with that also.
      I do agree that not only In Dominica people are very hypocrite towards sex. It’s one of those pesky things we sweep under our rugs. Let’s pretend that women don’t love sex, and play with themselves the majority of girls experience sexual urged way before men, (ladies supress it) that’s what were taught.
      I’m an individual that can discuss this topic openly with my parents or whomever, and because, I wasn’t hindered, I was able to suppress my urges and remain a virgin well after high school. That’s why councillors have jobs, these things we shouldn’t have to run to a councillor to discuss behind closed doors.

      • Muslim_Always
        April 2, 2011

        My friend you have blown the issue way out of context with the 6 year old.

        I’m talking about ‘teenage’ women whom Allah has out of his divine mercy and wisdom placed these characteristics of sexual desires and child bearing for example to marry.

        The people are saturated with polytheism, their minds are clouded with western gibberish. The reality is these young ‘teenagers’ are oppressed. It is their right to express those sexual desires through a proper divine channel called marriage. It is healthier and more spiritually sound to allow a 12 year old young woman to marry a young man at 13-16 years old with conditions of course depending on the factors surrounding that marriage rather than these young girls are engaged in masturbation, pornography, lesbianism and all the other ills which are forbidden by Allah. Why is it that the right seems wrong and the wrong seems right in our societies?

        I’ve explained briefly the role of the parents in that. Many people would run to a counsellor, yet, fail to apply divine law in their lives.

        • BMI
          April 3, 2011

          “Teenage” women, Really? The mentality of a woman is not present as a teenager, that’s why they are labled seprately…..Anywho…But one could say your views are gibberish as well, this is humanity (a lot of Muslim migrate and adapt to western customs because they are against views such as yours) we are all entitled to our own way and customs, simply stating that Dominicans should practice Muslim customs is a little far-fetched…Don’t you think? Plus, you reside in a predominately Christian society. No, my statement about a six year old is not out of context because, its sexual gratification. It’s a cycle that’s not spoken about.
          I do however know several Muslim girls whose parents courted them at a pre-teen age in order for them to get to know there future husband. But, marriage came after high-school.
          My main issue with pre-teen girls getting married for sexual pleasure, especially in Western civilizations where they are not taught how to be wives at an early age is bothersome. How does sex teach you to be a good wife? I could go on forever but, I won’t. We will go in circles. We need to remember that she is seeking advice not a lecture.

        • Muslim_Always
          April 3, 2011

          @ BMI: Could you kindly show me from the bible or any divine text where 16, 17 or 18 years is the age of consent please?

          Second, divine law is superior to man made laws. There is nothing wrong with marrying a ‘pre-teen’ as marriage in Islam is different. It is not just about sexual gratification, many muslims marry yet do not consumate the marriage for reasons agreed upon by both families.

  8. sexy maggie
    April 2, 2011

    I’ve read everyone comments. Some positive and some very negative.I’m not against wat u said, I know we all have freedom of expression and opinions.I agree.what some of us fail to realise is that this young lady has a problem which is not her fault.we are not all perfect.she might have faults in that area.we all have faults in different areas too.He who is without sin cast the first stone.

    To the young lady I suggest u seek help because your life will be destroyed at a very young age. I will say a prayer for u.


  9. shabin
    April 1, 2011

    :: :mrgreen:

  10. shabin
    April 1, 2011

    you know we dominicans like to bla-bla to much.i think if someone has a probleme we should learn to give advise and not to insult the person as if we ourself are perfect. i think we d/ca are too hypocrites we are to narrow minded

  11. D
    April 1, 2011


    • Muslim_Always
      April 2, 2011

      Continue to hide, this is the reality of your young girls. They want “tit!”

  12. dj question
    April 1, 2011

    my girl i am one to…… but i have one woman……… that is life…. u love sex love ur sex. dominicans to so. they maybe worst than u 8)

  13. D Girl
    April 1, 2011

    Don’t feel alone, satan is using this to control you, sex is one of the most controlling sins.
    I’m sure a lot of people feel controlled by sex, we just aren’t able to admit it.

    I pray that God delivers you from this.

  14. humble
    April 1, 2011

    Girlfren learn to control ur urges!!! Its mind over matter u head says yes in ur heart u don’t want to be like this. U are too young for that I think u had a horrifying childhood seek help my girl! Before its to late ill pray for u and ignore the negative comments some of us have no heart we forget there is a God! Pray a lot and seek help from a psychologist!

  15. D
    April 1, 2011

    Girl there is nothing wrong with you. People have different sex drives. Fine you ONE GOOD MAN to settle down with and enjoy him and much as you want. A high sex drive becomes an issue when you are sexing any and every one. If puts you as risk for disease and heart pain. SO play with that kitty by yourself until you find mr right

    • dj question
      April 1, 2011

      i like that. thats true 8)

      • me too
        April 1, 2011

        D I totally agree with what you said. I’m a woman and I too thought I had a sex addiction and I seek professional help only to learn that what I have is just a strong sex drive and since I’m afraid of STDs and can’t go around sleeping with Tom, Dick and Harry I’m just enjoying self pleasure until I find that special someone.

  16. Truth, Justice, Love, Peace and Unity
    March 31, 2011

    The best advice is Bella’s advice. This teenager is addicted to sex if she has to think of it all the time and wants to have sex all the time and can’t get enough of it. This is indeed a major problem and by no means one that make her happy. How does she feel within herself and the day after having participated in this with different men/boys?
    This is indeed a major problem. Something is radically wrong with her. This addiction is governing her entire life to the point that she may not be able to function normally at school, if she is attending school. It is abnormal. In time, as she grows up, she may very well become a prostitute. She does need immediate counseling.
    Yes! She needs the blessing and grace of God to overcome this vice. She must go to church, pray to God and ask Him to release her of this satanic, deadly addiction which could eventually destroy her.
    She should attend a Healing Mass/Service, if not a few. God is capable of weeding out this addiction from her. How He would love to do so that she may live a normal, godly and happy life. God did not create us for bondage of any nature. He wants us to be happy in this life and to be happy with Him forever in Heaven.
    God knows our heart and what is imbedded in it. If she wishes to be healed of this addiction, she must approach Him with a humble and contrite heart of sorrow for her sins.
    Young girl, you have a bright moral future ahead of you and obviously a legal future career. Concentrate on this for time flies and waits for no one.
    The best solution is to pray to God and ask Him to assist you. Of course, seek counseling from an authorized person.
    The only hope and help for the world, for human beings, is Our Lord Jesus Christ. Freedom in Jesus Christ.
    May God assist you to change your life around. God bless you young girl. I wish you well in Jesus Name. Amen – So be it!

  17. £
    March 31, 2011


    • mkayla bertrand
      April 1, 2011

      that is so not cool 8)

  18. All out
    March 31, 2011

    From country to town they all salop.

    • Anonymous
      April 1, 2011

      I would love to know what is sa**p about that.. the young lady has a problem so she sa**p? pure ignorance ……… go educate yourself idiot

  19. 7.5"
    March 31, 2011

    If areyou 17, and you like it so BAD, I wonder if you have more grip, I wonder how many times a day you does do it, 5 times?………

    • kiki
      April 12, 2011

      u taking about grip girl. that girl have to get a big thing to satisfy her eh…. cuz trust me no man doh want no woman that take all sizes it have in dat world

  20. natural dominican
    March 31, 2011

    babes nothing wrong with you…i love it too…day night night day and even during eclipes…hola baby we will love it together

  21. BMI
    March 31, 2011

    She definately needs help.
    I wonder if she was sexually assulted(fyi: sexually assult girls usually have higher sex drives that can become uncontrollable) alot of the women\girls we go around calling malpop do have distrubing past and are constantly trying to fill that void.

    • Slim
      March 31, 2011

      BMI = Body mass Index are you greater than 35 BMI then you must be obesse.
      Question is why would a fatty call itself BMI or is it Boss Me infertile? lol

  22. Love
    March 31, 2011

    We all need to pray for this young lady .All them names calling won’t help.. that’s y she’s asking for our help… So young lady get some help first, go to a pastor don’t go alone (now a days u can’t trust not even pastors not all of them but some prey on young ladies) so bring a friend with u somone u can trust and talk to, Start somewhere;;; Go to church, Call on God, (Pray) think of what if it were ur daughter, sisters, mother or girlfriends what would u do or say to them? What help u would get to them or what would u tell them?? This is very serious, i hope u get the help u need befor it’s to late. God be with u, U r a brave young lady and I belive u can get the help u need. coming forward u really want to stop that addiction. U r in my prays, God bless u, be strong in the Lord.

  23. MR burns
    March 31, 2011

    I wish the whole of Dominica was like that.

    • Burning FlAME
      March 31, 2011

      de whole of DA like that just check de wet fet in G/bay

      • look story
        April 1, 2011

        G/bay is not the whole of D/ca iidiot…………….cuz am from Roseau and am deffintely not no sal*p……… put u good!!

  24. thinkresponsible
    March 31, 2011

    to me i know u wii… wat u say der d a ge u start n d age u have.. hummm i thot u plug.. i thot ur man in jail gwada.. so nnow is ppl man u goin behind for sex cuz u say u addicted… child behave ur self…

    • M
      April 1, 2011

      Seems like you’re describing yourself….If you have nothing encouraging and positive to say, please stay quiet and chew on your words…but plz try not to choke.

    • look story
      April 1, 2011

      thinkresponsible my a$$ ….. dats how u think for a responsible person…….smhhhhhh

  25. young doinican
    March 31, 2011

    my girl ur a sal*p

    • M
      April 1, 2011

      It takes one to know the other….wonder what does that make you????

      • look story
        April 1, 2011

        i agree wit you M…… thing eh D/cans like to throw stones eh and they living in glass houses……….wey wey wey ……….allu have to much guttss papa…..but as the old saying goes it will take a person of the same caliber to know a person of that same kind…… so u must be the HBIC OF S*lop!!!! take that and choke on it young doinican

  26. DESIE
    March 31, 2011


  27. African Queen,
    March 31, 2011

    put your knees down and just talk to the lord, he will listen, because he said suffer little children and come on to me,he is the best help for you right. just place your trust in him.

  28. wehhhhhhhhhhhh
    March 31, 2011

    relax allu self and youtube the talking cats..its a JOKE get allu moral heads out allu a**

  29. £
    March 31, 2011


  30. the one
    March 31, 2011

    my girl there is nothing wrong with dat as long as it is one man u have

  31. From Possie With Love
    March 31, 2011

    Easy whore in the makin…..check me out nuh i know some ppl tha can out it for u

  32. anonymous
    March 31, 2011

    girl come check me i will fulfill all your cravings 24 hours a day.

  33. sweet pum pum
    March 31, 2011

    People show their ignorance in all different ways some of them you cannot blame they
    dropped out of school long before they left kindergarten if you catch my drift… :mrgreen:

  34. hmmm
    March 31, 2011

    jus remember that while you trying to be satisfied, you are inadvertedly gaining a reputation.
    and if you care about how people perceive you, you would not want to be known around the country like that cos when u do find somebody to out the fire they will not be serious because they heard about u from their friends or firends friend..

    • long ago
      March 31, 2011

      once upon a time when i was growing up there was a girl call shirt jack in DGS who was like dat.Later when i grew up for real i heard of one called sharing time.

  35. real recognize real
    March 31, 2011

    “one man cya satisfy her…she need more wood for the fiya”
    I-wayne made that song with you in mind man? lol
    girl get help before its too late

  36. wow
    March 31, 2011

    she is jus 17 and she said she been with alot of guys hoping one wil put out the fire hhmmmm u keep going like thi one will diffinately put out ur fire for good.. so i suggest u admit u have some serious probs and seek god my dear child u are still very young

    • under the radar
      March 31, 2011

      those urges + her young mind = serious disaster when older more mature and scheming people come into the equation. she will be a mess 10 years later. time is of the essence.

    • 99
      March 31, 2011

      Have you passed 99 yet? then if you talk about 22,23 24 you not at addict stage yet.At 17 you hot whats going to happen when you reach 34 when you really hot?Maybe you might all die from something before you turn 25.

  37. Ora- Et-Labora
    March 31, 2011

    Words destroys thoughts. When the intense urges come around ( and the will ) destroy them with words, rebuke the the thoughts with the words of Jesus Christ. If you aren’t married then you should be engaging in sexual activities.

    What you don’t kill will kill you. The Lord is able to deliver you from every temptation that comes to your mind. Hope you receive true deliverance.

    • Pastor LLEB
      March 31, 2011

      take her in to your church nuh! I am certain Pastor ‘s rod is waiting to really cool it down in the name of the lord.Pastor will place a bible in her hand the man of ……….. is upon her and the rod of salvation will penetrate her so young gorl whine ur waist.

  38. mouth of the south
    March 31, 2011

    omg where can i find them woman dere nuh,,,, my woman just laying on the bed while i well hard,,, she keep saying too much of something not good,,, i can’t even tell u the last time i blast,,,, well hun if u think u have a problem then read dr emanuel’s article,,,, but if u was my woman u wouldn’t see it as an addiction nuh babes,,,, energizer in my waist

    • shatta
      March 31, 2011

      lol boy u deadly

    • sweet pum pum
      March 31, 2011

      Trust you to come with dat answer :lol:

    • under the radar
      March 31, 2011

      waw… and to think. your mouth taking so much energy from you. where would you find energy for kokay. why dont you power up the earth so we wont have to use all this oil. lol… just messing with you MOTS

      • eltigre
        March 31, 2011


        if only I could find a womqan like that who got soooo much energy,I dont think I could sleep at nite,

        March 31, 2011

        Boy friend talk is cheap, but you/we need money to buy it………but not all barking DOGS can bite……

        Now young lady…we all like SEX….even if some does not have the ability, but the disire is always there…maybe there is a reason for your need to belong, which leads you to believe Sex is the answer, untill you search for that reason then you will always be in search…..PLEASE SEEK HELP, sex is only a moments pleasure that we all crave for…but remember this, love making and SEX are two different things…. so for your own GOOD please…..take Bellas advise, because she gave you the best advise on this topic..your’re 17yrs …… think of your education….and who knows some day you might be the one counselling others….on that same topic…be strong…’re not alone….

  39. sayyyyyyyyyy wha
    March 31, 2011

    so having continuous sex with one person isn’t enough?
    why muliple partners? hello STDs

  40. FIRE
    March 31, 2011


  41. Seriously Speaking
    March 31, 2011

    It’s a natural thing for some to have really strong urges, but its for us to control them. When the urges come on try changing your focus, think of other things. It’s aint easy but God will help if you take steps to help yourself.

    • under the radar
      March 31, 2011

      people who are very occupied in a variety of other activities that are productive and beneficial have less mental room to accommodate excesses like these sexual habits here. she needs to get on with the healing process while she is still young.

    • Pumping man
      March 31, 2011

      Easier said than done church sister.You all give the best sex cause allu are taught to hold it back when allu release a man or woman can die.Wood can kill so can cocos.I have had a few church virgin sisters in my time after church woodmented. stand up lie down sitting nightly after service.

  42. Canefield East
    March 31, 2011

    I think he/she needs to read that article by Dr. Emmanuel. It is very informative and helpful. This addiction can have serious implications.

    • woody
      March 31, 2011

      you crazy canefield east.You staying on your balcony watch canefield flat eat ice cream listen to Matt in the morning Compere tigre and Lapin angelo etc go to work come home,go service saturday night , go donkey beach for a soke watchTV then go to bed what you know about addiction? I have your weekly routine. You there playing virgin.

  43. wehhhhhhhhhhhh
    March 31, 2011

    *in talking cats youtube voice*–>dominican girls alllu to damnnnn sal*p…stop making sweetttt eyessss for people mannnnnnnn…(u kno da the rest)

    • sweetness
      March 31, 2011

      not all dominca girls that sal*p an stop sayin wat u want d girlis tryin to make a change in her life an god is able she will . so please if u cant say something good BOUT SOMEBODY JUS SHUT UR UP PLZ

      • November 16, 2011

        retarded the person is reciting a video from you tube..its an inside shut da hell up!

    • Anonymous
      March 31, 2011

      it doesnt mean that she is a sal*p , it just mean thar she have has a problem wheather spiritual, emotional or physical. There is no reason for name calling on a public website as such. some of you people are too disrespectfull.

        March 31, 2011

        You know what you are? a two timer or…’re not stable in your decition…

        …..don’t be God and Devil at the same time ….you seem to serve two master… break people then you try fixing them…

        “girl come check me i will fulfill all your cravings 24 hours a day”
        she needs support not more confusion….

    • dominican abroad
      March 31, 2011

      chupessssssssssss where dat coming in anonymous

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