Caught up in a family conflict

Dear Bella: I am between a rock and a hard place and don’t know what to do. First of all you have been doing a good job giving advice and opinion; keep up the good work. I am being forced to choose sides between my second cousin and my aunt.

They have been great people to me; I used to live with my cousin and she used to take care of me financially at one point in my life and my aunt on the other hand got me my first job soon after I finished school and I lived with her for approximately two months pro-bono.

My aunt’s boyfriend told my aunt that he slept with my cousin which is her first cousin and told her that they are still corresponding. My aunt made a big confusion and our family split apart for the exception of me not choosing sides. I am still speaking to both of them. My cousin said that there was no such thing but refused to stop talking to my aunt’s boyfriend. To tell you the truth Bella I don’t know what to believe because my aunt’s boyfriend is a big time liar and he will tell her one thing and go back and tell my cousin another.  Now my aunt is telling me to choose sides.

Dear Anonymous,

You must let you aunt down softly, but still speak the truth which may hurt her. Apparently, this showdown is as a result of a man who is not even faithful to your aunt. Let her know that she needs to stop making this man cause disunity within the family, and you would never choose him over them because that is what she’s basically asking you to do. Tell her how you mean so much to her as well as your cousin and she knows in her heart that her boyfriend is shady, but she is just denying it.

Tell her your cousin was not right to sleep with your aunt’s boyfriend; however it takes two to tango, and while it may be hurtful she has to learn to forgive her cousin eventually. Say to her that you do not want to get caught up in this confusion but you just want your family back the way things were and that’s why you cannot pick sides. Also avoid discussing the matter with your aunt and cousin or participating in any of their gossiping of each other.


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  1. mr CURIOUS
    February 5, 2011

    there is nothing for u to choose between stay the same as u were b4 to them. if a decision most be made dont be the 1 to make that decision ok

  2. no sir-ree
    August 4, 2010

    Just tell them “that is alu business and me self not in it”

  3. Pnuts
    July 26, 2010

    Dear Anonymous,

    U do not want to be known as the family crook by choosing sides so just stay neutral, besides this issue is between the aunt and the cousin and their personal life. That should have nothing to do with u so do not get involved. Stay away from discussing the other whith either one, at the end of the day blood is thicker than water, I hope your aunty realize that before she let a cheater destroy her family. Good luck.

  4. CB CUZ
    July 26, 2010

    girl u a an adult i hope so dont let your aunt or cousin or anybody else tell you what to do or who to talk too Make up your own mind act like it and stop asking bella for these trivial advice. You should know by now what you have to do and what is right “who ever takes sides always ends up alone and as the crook” think about that

  5. Righteous!
    July 26, 2010

    According to the story Bella, the cousin has denied sleeping with her aunt’s boyfriend. Also it is a stated fact that the man is a liar. The Aunt should wise up and bump his sorry a**. For whatever reason he is trying to divide and conquer the family. At the end of the day, the aunt should remember that blood is thicker than water….if the cousin did indeed sleep with the boyfriend, she should admit that she was wrong and allow the healing process to take place. I suspect that she slept with him because if she didn’t, why would she allow that prick to destroy the family.

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