DEAR BELLA: I am 50 and want a child

Dear BellaDear Bella,

I want to have a child. I am 50. I have always been scared of having children because of selfish reasons like they would invade my space and deprive me of a great body and peace and quiet.

Now I am of age -well I feel younger than I am- and I find myself gravitating towards people’s children.

I am starting to believe that I want children of my own. Is it too late for me?

Too late

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Dear Too late,

You are never too late to accomplish anything you want in this life unless of course if you are no longer above ground.

I think, however, that because of your age you would need to speak to your gynecologist about whether in fact, you are in shape to have a child.

You did not state clearly whether you suffer from any ailments or if you are married divorced or a widow.

What I can tell you, however, is that if you want something you should go after it, once it’s viably possible.

Best,
Bella

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43 Comments

  1. Keke
    October 2, 2019

    Call me my numbers is 6123801 i am are French boy

  2. mary waner
    March 22, 2017

    nothing is to hard for God

  3. mine
    March 10, 2017

    ITS a high risk wanting a child at 50. For you selfish reason you said he or she would invade your space dont let guilt kill you. If you really want a child go check a gyn and see what advice he or she will give. God luck.

  4. Greg Cadette possie
    March 9, 2017

    Check me out I drinking four magnum, three Guinness, a red bull, and one shot of zayeed and I ready for you. Triplets in December for you.

  5. MR. PROLIFIC
    March 9, 2017

    The Head Line : Bello I want a child this cannot be right because Bello has no child for sale. May I wish you success. You are young and capable, and have enough to offer a child but finding the right man is almost impossible. You need a natural man and this one has not been born yet. So be happy and enjoy. WHAT YOU COULD DO WITH RIGHT NOW is a caretaker she will supply you with everything you need. Good luck and god bless.

  6. african queen
    March 9, 2017

    .adopt one

  7. March 9, 2017

    I was disappointed in BELLA.

    *You are never too late to accomplish anything you want in life.* The Bible tell us there is a time and season for everything n life. This is not only scripture. It is common sense!

    *If you want something you should go after it, if it is viably possible.*

    What a person WANTS in life should not determine his or her actions. Our DESIRE could take us outside the will of God. Our WANTS could easily lead us into trouble.

    To tell somebody to go after something because it is viably possible is misleading. Viably possible :?: A mature adult female would probably find it is POSSSIBLE to get pregnant. If she wants a child she may think it is viable. However the fact that a pregnancy for a woman past a certain age brings various risks for both the mother and the child must be considered. This is best determined by her physician.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

    • March 9, 2017

      Continued …

      I am concerned that she says nothing about her marital status. It takes two to tango!

      If she is married I hope this is something she would discuss with her husband and then her doctor if her husband is in favor of having a child. Adoption is a possibility that could be considered.

      If she is not married she should dismiss the thought. God does not want her fornicating to have a baby. This is not the way to have God bless the new family. For her to go looking for man to father a child with her is trampy to say the least. Would he help her raise it? This would not create a family history she would be happy to have the child learn about.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

      • Kharie
        March 9, 2017

        How do you know what God wants for her???

        Did he whisper that to you in your ear??

        I just cannot stand you evangelist, always projecting all you beliefs onto people. So if she wants to fornicate to have a child, then so what?!

        The same bible says God knows every thought that passing in our head even before we think of it (paraphrasing here)…
        So she did not ask you what God wants her to do. She wants a child, you should have left well enough alone with your first blog where you advised her on the medical complications etc.

  8. THE NANNY
    March 9, 2017

    Stupes. Woman go adopt a child or roll your roseary!

  9. JOSH SHAW
    March 9, 2017

    Ebeh Bella look torry . I wonder who she going make child for? And when she there on walkin stick child outside at all kinda hours. that is providing all goes great from conception through to birth. LOOK TORRY

  10. March 8, 2017

    IT’S never too late once the good lord grant’s you favor im 46 n looking for my second.So in case you are looking for a father hook me up seriously!

  11. Don't worry
    March 8, 2017

    50 is not to old Janet Jackson and other people have healthy kids at 50 as Bella say talk to your doctor first….As long as you are health go for it…..No one can determine your destiny for u…All the best.

  12. ask Janet Jackson
    March 8, 2017

    Ask Janet Jackson to help you. She just made a child at 50 ..

  13. Johnanna
    March 8, 2017

    Don’t listen to anyone saying that you are selfish or that you are too old. Sarah, the beloved wife of Abraham had her first child for him in her 90s. What God bless no man can curse! Continue to hope and pray!

  14. black nobility
    March 8, 2017

    Talk about selfish :(

  15. March 8, 2017

    My Dear, remain selfish, I had 5, didn’t think of myself but them. Today, it’s all me. They are successful, and I’m bathing in my own success. You will end up with a Don syndrome child, and at your age, who will take care of that child?

    • March 10, 2017

      It sounds like you did things right, you deserve your success, and your words of caution are worth considering.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  16. Iamanidiot
    March 8, 2017

    I dont think you shoould have a child at 50, at 10 years old you’ll be 60, at 60 I dont think your eyes is good to help Little Jack Sprat with his homework , at 65, you think you’ll be able to go to Grammar School for PTA? Doubt it, at 18, the child going to have to start taking care of you.

  17. Britny
    March 8, 2017

    Stay selfish as u are your great body is more important that being a proud mother. By the way if your brain was in good shape u would regconize u can maintain a great shape with having a child. Milliona have done it. Here we are more into poor dieting that eating healthy. By the way do a little research so u can be educated on the risk of child bearing at your age. But also be minded with cutting edge of human meds child bearing is still possible but u have to change your selfish ideals. Be informed also I know a particular lady here who had a babe at 52 and the child is now bout 4 and perfectly healthy but this was not her first child.

  18. LifeandDeath
    March 8, 2017

    How about a Unicorn? U think Bella can arrange for that too?

  19. viewsexpressed
    March 8, 2017

    I am disappointed in part of Bella`s response to this desperate 50 year old woman wish to have a baby.

    “What I can tell you, however, is that if you want something you should go after it, once it’s viably possible.”
    That`s the part I find worrying. I feel your response could be more accommodating. There are or may be obvious risks to consider and also, probably would recommend adoption and /or fostering. The feeling and natural cry for motherhood is showing itself obviously, s I feel for this lady. Please be advised accordingly, and consider all options and advice. Whatever you decide consult family, counsellor and friends. At least, this has to be a good father involved.

  20. DLP needs to be retired
    March 8, 2017

    You gonna need to find a guy that drinking plenty seamoss :lol:

  21. Noreen
    March 8, 2017

    You are on your way to menapause unless you’re
    talking about intro, then lady give yourself and the
    child a break.

  22. televangelists are false prophets
    March 8, 2017

    so make your child nuh. you acting like is Bella that have to tell you how or give you permission.

  23. Tell it like it is
    March 8, 2017

    You didn`t give any information that could allow someone to provide you with meaningful advice. Are you still being selfish? Best advice I can give is that you talk to you GP who may be in a better position to help you. Best of luck.

  24. zandoli
    March 8, 2017

    Bella
    There is always the option of adoption. Unless this woman is willing to go through IVF, the prospect of having a child is zero. Adoption is the most viable option in my opinion.

  25. kingman
    March 8, 2017

    That is a problem in our society now, women think and put career (nothing wrong with that) and life style before family, when they do check they are lonely and looking for company. There must be a good balance.

  26. Carisma
    March 8, 2017

    You were being selfish before and now you are being selfish again. At 50, how much and what quality of time do you hope to have with a child? Have you even given any though to the child? Have you given any thought to who would father the child? Think again, and maybe the suggestion of adoption or even fostering would work for you.

    Once you have a child you cannot change your mind, so if you start feeling like your space is being inviaded or any other such feeling, you will create problems for the child.

    • Dominican
      March 8, 2017

      So she can foster and give it up if she feels her space is being invaded? Having a child and fostering should carry the same amount of responsibility. If she can do one she can do the other. The only diff should be her health condition. If is extremely risky at 50 where the female body is going through drastic changes esp where hormones are concerned. A doctor’s continuous care is vital if you are even fertile enough. It will takes a lot of money too. The first thing to consider therefore is your health.

    • Fairness for all
      March 8, 2017

      However, on the other side of the coin, an older person can give more to a child than a young teenager can.

    • Locs Girl
      March 8, 2017

      Whether she adopts or foster, your questions still remain.

  27. March 8, 2017

    Don’t do it.

  28. papa
    March 8, 2017

    Stay selfish insteamulation

  29. March 8, 2017

    I definitely hope this woman consults an obstetrician. At age 50, a woman’s risk of bearing a child with a congenital chromosomal abnormality like Down’s Syndrome is more than ten percent. Perhaps she might also consider finding a baby or small child who needs a mother? Lord knows there’s need….

    • zandoli
      March 8, 2017

      Down Syndrome is not even the issue here. The probability of getting pregnant is close to zero.

    • March 9, 2017

      Steve, you gave a wise answer.

      This woman could bring hurt to a child and problems to others. Definitely, it would NOT be the right thing to do.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  30. bois caraibe
    March 8, 2017

    Come on Bella, there is the adoption route. A 50 year old having a child in this part of the globe may do more harm than good, both for mother and child. I am no doctor but have read quite a bit on the impact that having children at that age can have on the health of the child and the mother, especially if it’s her first. but as you said, the choice is always with the individual if she feels so strongly about it.

    Good luck.

  31. Mother
    March 8, 2017

    Think about the child, not yourself.

    • Anonymous
      March 8, 2017

      Amen! you want a child but who says such a child wants you as a mother?

    • DA girl
      March 8, 2017

      Exactly. Think of the health complications both you and that child could have, more so the child. You have illnesses like Down-syndrome, Autism and a range of other physical and mental disabilities that child could develop, not to mention a premature birth if your body cannot handle it. The lifetime complications of premature babies are endless. How much time will you have with that child? Do you have the energy and will to deal with a growing child?

      This is something you need to think long and hard about. Is this about what you want or what’s best for the child. A child is not a puppy or kitten, and even pets need love and attention so much less for a human being. Good luck. If you do decide to go that route I hope for the best for both yourself and your baby.

      If you decide to adopt I wish you all the best as well.

    • I watching you
      March 8, 2017

      If only others would do this… Instead of make a child to trap man, build toilet, spoil mans life, get a pension etc… There are some real wicked women out there.

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