DEAR BELLA: I am falling in love but not single

Dear BellaDear Bella,

I have always dated guys that are younger than me or the exact same age.

Like many of the women out there I have gotten hurt by a man. I said to myself that I won’t ever be able to love so deeply and trust anyone again. I guess I was wrong.

About a year and a month ago I started talking to this man who is about seven years my senior (I am 27).

We became friends and would talk to each other via WhatsApp all day. Slowly but surely my feelings for this guy keep growing. For some reason I believe everything that comes from his mouth.

The thing is I live in the United States and he is back home in Dominica. I know that I love this guy and I am definitely falling in love with him. We see each other via Skype, we tell each other ‘I love you,’ we trust each other, we have told each other that we are not single.

I am planning on visiting him sometime this year. However we are totally different from each other, he loves going out with his friends and I am more the home buddy. He is reserved and I have more of a crazy side to me. I guess I write all this to get your input on things.

However, the most important thing is that I am not single. I have my boyfriend, however because of my past, I don’t trust him 100 percent.

Do you think I should continue with my boyfriend or go with the new one and see what happens? What do you think?

Need Answers

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Dear Need Answers

You are playing a dangerous game.

I have heard about cyber love stories that materialized into something beautiful but we live in serious times and you should be on your guard always.
How is it that you are able to spend so much time with this guy and you have a boyfriend? This could signal the death of your relationship with your current boyfriend.

For all we know he too could have another interest who is taking up the time when you’re “web loving your new love interest”.

But this is not about him. This is about you and whether you should continue this long-distance affair or not.

I think you should give it the “wait and see” approach. Visiting perhaps isn’t a bad idea since you may get a chance to know him better. But take things slow.

All that said, you cannot have your cake and eat it too. You need to come clean with your boyfriend and let him know about your new interest. You cannot love two men at the same time. You need to establish also whether if what you really feel is love.

I am in no position to judge your situation. What I can say though, is that time has the answers to many questions.

In your situation, time will tell but you cannot get positive results if you’re on a negative path.

Best,

Bella

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13 Comments

  1. UDOHREADYET
    February 17, 2017

    L oving someone else while you’re with someone is cheating.
    I nquiring about visiting the person when you’re already with someone else… means that its you who isn’t trustworthy!
    E veryday that passes that you spend thinking of the other guy is one less day in your own relationship.

  2. The Eel
    February 16, 2017

    When you have a girlfriend and she accuses you with another woman you denied it to the bone. You come on line and made yours public. There is nothing to tell, for you have already made up your mind. However, when two many different men know your body, it no longer belongs to you it belongs to them

  3. @boyfriend....
    February 16, 2017

    So this is what you have been doing all along. Not returning my calls and text and you blame it on being busy. How do you even look at me in the eye and tell me you love me anyways and you do not trust me?? I am so pissed bruh! you better not let me catch you or else…

  4. mary waner
    February 16, 2017

    remember karma okay..

  5. Shameless
    February 15, 2017

    Child tie your waist, banday yourself and come to the nature isle for some real fresh “COCONUT” water to get your groove on. The cyber stuff is just the start but a few rounds of glo-coco-chaud with a likkle-wine will make you mack-in-time in double-time thus leaving a smile on your face and a glow to your being 8) . Doe-malaay with Bella or the Rev because they are just jealous. :twisted: :twisted:

    Always Assertive! :mrgreen:

  6. zandoli
    February 15, 2017

    Bella, if this woman comes to Dominica she will more than likely have the time of her life. She will be on vacation, having sex with this guys 3 times a day and she will return to the States madly in LUST with this guy all the time thinking she found the garden of love.

    I don’t see that Dominica fling going anywhere.

  7. February 15, 2017

    But what am I hearing there nuh. Women giving men competition now. When men have double partners ladies complain so much.

  8. February 15, 2017

    Need Answers:

    Having a boyfriend does not make you not single. If you were married you would be not single.

    Why would you even initiate a cyber affair with another man when you have a boyfriend :?: What kind of woman are you? You are two timing your boyfriend and this is not nice!

    On the other hand your new flame knows you have a boyfriend. What kind of man is he? If he hooks up with you would you want him doing this with another woman? How do you know he will not? Even worse how do you know he is not already doing it?

    It seems you have not met this man. How can you fall in love with somebody online? Love is a real life in-the-flesh experience, not something on a computer screen.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

    You both know the other has somebody else and is willing to two time. How could you ever trust each other in what is suppose to be a permanent monogamous relationship? Obviously you know you both know you could not. So this is not a good foundation for a…

    • February 15, 2017

      Continuation:

      So this is not a good foundation for a marriage. At your age you probably want a relationship to be a sound one that could lead up to marriage.

      The best move you could possibly make is to receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Find a lively Bible believing church and begin attending on a regular basis. Read your Bible daily beginning at the Gospel according to St. John. You will meet new friends. Slowly but surely your live will be transformed.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  9. BIG PETE
    February 15, 2017

    Bella, you should stop sugar coating with these desperado’s…be straight up with “need answers” . You no longer love your so called boyfriend, leave him then come to Dominica and find out your prince charming is another coushonie, maybe have two or three more woman pulling on a string. get ready to have your heart broken again.

  10. Concerned
    February 15, 2017

    Let’s just hope this guy is not from vieille case cause he is taken…..lol

  11. February 15, 2017

    I smell chaos ahead don’t leave what you see for something you doh see trust me my girl its not worth it not all that glitter is gold.

    • Peace
      February 15, 2017

      I don’t agree. Sometime leaving what you have for what you not yet see is called faith!

      Having that though, you both need to come clean as you and him are intentionally hurting the others that you are involved with. Not cool

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