DEAR BELLA: I put my cheating husband out; now his family blaming me


I have a serious issue. Two years in a row my husband vanishing during the carnival and that ain’t funny at all.
Last year same thing happened. He said he made a day break from jouvert and he came Monday night at the end of carnival.
He stayed home the Tuesday. But Bella I recalled that Mister never look like he was in carnival.  Not sweaty. Not messy. Nice and clean. Anyway I let that pass.
This year now, he decide well, he going jouvert. I say well let’s go.  He refuse to have me come telling me is he and his boys.
I say well ok. Bella you not hearing, I never see the man until Ash Wednesday early morning? Just in time to go work? And the same boys he say he making day break with, asking me for him.
Bella I not no sot. I never watched him or talk to him when he came home Wednesday but as he left for work, I packed his clothes.
He came home around 6 and saw all his  clothes on the porch. He ask me what is that about.  I never answer. Anyway he took them and left.
Now his entire generation blasting me on Facebook and whassap saying I’m no good and I put my husband outside after he gave me everything.
Am I wrong? Am I to feel bad? Because I honestly don’t feel I did anything wrong.
Even if a man gives you everything must he two time you?
Well Bella I say let him go and stay where he slept two nights.
Estranged Wife
Hello Estranged Wife,
You made your decision based on what you felt you needed to do. It is clear that you don’t need much explanation from your husband about his whereabouts.
Why would a man lie about being by friends? That’s creepy and it seems like an excuse a cheating man would make.
His family aren’t the ones in the kitchen so they wont feel the heat you’re feeling.
Sometimes women especially have to take bold steps to get respected. And men too.
If the marriage is to be mended then there must be openness, trust and especially forgiveness.
Talk to a close family friend or your church leader about it in case of reconciliation.
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  1. Fool-Me-Once
    March 9, 2019

    Let his “Boys” rescue and take him. Although I am all for forgiveness and reconciliation wherever possible, one cannot be vex with his wife for excercising her God-given spirit of discernment and plain common sense. As one who was thankfully given a second chance for stepping out, I must say that Dude needed to man-up and try his best not to go down that road again. Unfortunately, he stumbled again and arrived home only hear his wife sing “Hit the road Jack”. To make matters worse, his family have taken to social media to berate and vilify his wife instead of working inconspicuously to lobby and petition on behalf of his apparent guilty behind.

  2. Honest
    March 9, 2019

    This … is laughable lol so you put out your husband from ALL you house (you all both worked hard to build) because you assume he cheated on you with no evident especially on carnival day, he could have done the cheating any other day…WHY CARNIVAL? ……maybe carnival is the man thing and he needs some time for himself, so he probably uses a silly excuse to get away…..I blame you self lol…I think she likes too much attention, which the husband gives to her

  3. Man bites dogs
    March 9, 2019

    Hi lady what’s all the big noice about my grandfather vanished one carnival day for 10months on his return grandma asked him where have you been? Grandad reply was I lost my way darling!! You see grandad was senile.

  4. March 8, 2019

    He took his clothes to quick. He did not even stay and talk and explain where he was to you. He was where he was not suppose to be . Some woman come from foreign and he spend that weekend with her.

  5. Bwa-Banday
    March 8, 2019

    But I doh see with you at all! The man don’t like carnival anymore so he spend the time at a retreat praying and fasting. Some women too like day-bar. By the way Bella have her man doh. Is you that now kra-nan-nah. You better go and find that man before you lost him for good instead of staying here and playing mah-jor.

    • Bad english
      March 9, 2019

      First off, you need to learn how to correctly write a sentence. ” lost him” makes no sense. should have been before you lose him. You write the way you speak and that’s terrible.

  6. waww
    March 8, 2019

    But you pack all me clothes in a garbage bag :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Maysiay ehbeh carnival doing things. My girl all you had to ask him was how was Lumination or powder fete lol

  7. Dominican Bwoi
    March 8, 2019

    “Two years in a row my husband vanishing during the carnival and that ain’t funny at all.”. LOOOL let’s be serious, that is kinda funny, especially how you said it :lol:

  8. Smh
    March 8, 2019

    Why is only his clothes you put on the porch? You should have put everything he gave you on the porch as well, better yet you should have left his house and go, when he came home he wouldn’t have met you in his home.

    • lula
      March 8, 2019

      @Smh…Are you that naïve? You damn well can read and put two and two together and see that man has something going on outside of his marriage. It is SOUTIWEYS like you that make marriages are the way they are today, this one cheating on that one or vice versa. Unless you are one of those benefiting from someone else’s marriage. His clothes are not the only ones that should be on the porch. The wife should throw him on the porch. His family to soutiweh as well and wicked

    • Mellie
      March 9, 2019

      Put his … outside! She deserves every damn thing house and alll for wasting her damn time! 😡

  9. Kermit
    March 8, 2019

    I understand where you coming from but I can guarantee you nobody not putting me out of a house I paid for whether I am a man or a woman.

  10. Family Guy!
    March 8, 2019

    Bella this is nonsense!!! there is no concrete evidence that you caught the man cheating, this was all based on assumptions and coming to her own conclusion, magway sahh!!!!

    • Frank N Stein
      March 8, 2019

      SMH, Kermit and Family are the members of the family attacking the girl. See how they run here and postiing lol. You all have no say.

  11. Frank N Stein
    March 8, 2019

    Girl say to the family: Let the as….. bray! You owe them nothing.

  12. March 8, 2019

    To hell with his family and what they think about you..When he go out there and kokay another women and bring home your death sentence they won’t say ….!!…Just because he provided for you and gave you everything does not entitles him to go out there and stick his manwood in another…If you did the same they’d be calling you all kind of names…Kudos to you..You did the right thing!!..And don’t forget..Doh take him back!!!..

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