DEAR BELLA: I want a girl who loves me, not for my money

Dear Bella

I want a girl who loves me for me and not because my family can afford.
I am not going to fool myself and say that I have the looks to go with it because I know I am not handsome.
However, I was raised in a good home by a family who did all they could to ensure I have what I need.
But I have noticed that all the women who showed interest in me since I remember myself, they were more fascinated by what I have.
My vehicle, my nice home, my parents name and the fact that I always foot the bill when we go out and whenever they [the women] needed to keep themselves together.
The last woman I had we dated for a few months before i realized she had her man and possibly using me.
I even think some of the financial requests she made was to help him out.
Bella I am 36 and I want to settle down and get married but how can I know for sure the woman will not just be seeking an inheritance from me?
Cautious

Hello Cautious,
Because we live in a small country, it’s a bit hard to hide your family status since everybody knows everybody in little D.A.
Now having said that, being cautious when it comes to matters of the heart is very wise. Even the bible calls us to guard our hearts because everything flows from it.
However, while you are being cautious, not every love interest must be measured with the same yardstick as the others who may have used you.
Sometimes love can come around and you chase it away.
I think you should have an open mind. Go on dates. Observe the behaviours but don’t judge anyone.
If you have a girlfriend or someone claims to be interested in you and they are quick to ask for money and financial favours then this could be seen as a red flag.
Someone once said to me because planes are crashing does it mean you need to stop travelling?
Look at it this way. Because some women are after your wealth, does it mean you have to hide yourself under a rock?
Nothing is wrong in observing the people you meet.
But don’t forget to live. Go out. Have fun. Date.
Love will come around. When it does you will know it and you will seal it with marriage.
I hope this helps.
Bella

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18 Comments

  1. Shabine_Thickerzz
    June 11, 2019

    I make my own money and I’m single 🤷🏻‍♀️ If he’s serious we can talk… No I’m not joking…. The one thing I truly care about isn’t money cuz my parents spoil me and i actually have a job and I also dc about looks… The ONE thing I care about is 🙃🙃

  2. Dan the American
    June 10, 2019

    Have you tried being “dis-owned” for a while?
    Instead of showing your money, try cutting your living expenses by 1/2 or 3/4s, move into a cheap place, and see who’s interested then.

  3. June 9, 2019

    In this highly materialistic world, where people worship money and materials more than they worship God, finding someone who really loves you because of your personality and responsibility is difficult. People begin to strategize on how they can fake love to get what they want and as the saying goes, when money done love done. People no longer want to build as a team, they want to come with everything already built and they just enjoy the fruits of your labor, and if the tree become empty, they move on to the next honey tree. So be wise and do your homework. I love you is so easily said these days, but very few people mean it. All the best and God bless bro.

  4. Nana-Lain
    June 9, 2019

    @Cautious…..Since you are so worried about your status in life when it comes to finding someone to love ‘you’ and not your money, why don’t you look for someone who is on the same level with you instead of looking for a poor girl whom you think is after your money? Im pretty sure there are ‘well-off’ girls in Dominica

  5. June 8, 2019

    Cautious, if you are looking for love to show up to you, you will never find Her, because She is Spirit, the Greatest Character of our God of Spirit in Truth and Holiness. In other words, God is Love who binds people together according to the relationship

    It is not about your physical & material assets; otherwise, who would be together in Love, in the World, today?

    It is not that you cannot find someone who loves you, it is that you have not become bonded to your “True Love”, especially if you keep walking away from her because of your lack of hope; for hope plays a great role in this, you know!

    We interpret human affection for Love, and believe that the passion and lust of our mind, sowed there by our human senses is “Love” but that is the gravest flaw in us.

    But Love will take you to the One who is destined to be your “loved one” and bind you two together. Nothing in your Life can break that “Cord” which is from God, Love Himself.

  6. trust me
    June 8, 2019

    in this day and age my brother? :-|
    Good Luck!

  7. Boy your my advise to you since you can afford go somewhere in Africa and get a lady she will remember how far she come from, but doh forget what you must do as a man, otherwise you may just be your own problem.

  8. My brother you say you can afford go somewhere in Africa and get a lady boy she will remember how far she come from and won’t want to loose out.

  9. Man bites dogs
    June 7, 2019

    Welcome to the World of love 😍 please allow me to explain, money my man is the fruit of love no money no love from whichever ways you look at it. When you have lots of money you will also find that you will have lots of flys hanging around for your money also call honey sorry pal in todays Dominica there is no such thing as love honour and obey.

  10. Ti Garcon
    June 7, 2019

    Just go plug one, that’ll hold her down

  11. Eye-of-the-Needle
    June 7, 2019

    Bro, based on your personal description, you appear to have been blessed materially which makes you a magnet for both well meaning and unscrupulous interests.

    May I remind you that sometimes love can be kind and other times love can be cruel. There are even times when “love don’t love nobody” as the Spinners sang years ago.

    Do not give up on your pursuit of love. Many times it turns out to be a game of trial an error that requires us to invest a most precious and limited commodity, time, during the courtship and dating phases.

    I urge you to strongly consider the prudent advice provided by Bella, especially in the last three paragraphs.

  12. DA Nation
    June 7, 2019

    My brotha doh waste yo time, if you looking for love you wont find it from women… Dont take my word and you gonna learn de hard waaayy :-o

    • Kermit
      June 7, 2019

      He not going to find it from women so where he going to find it from? Man?

    • Pogba
      June 8, 2019

      Well hommie, to be real with you at some point in our lives we all want someone we can settle down with. It not impossible to get real love though. Cuz one thing I see over the years is ever bomb have it cover eh…however, I’d advise you to focus on yourself and your family and if one day god blesses you with someone real done take them for granted. All the best brother.

  13. Real boss
    June 7, 2019

    Fada if is Dominica you looking for woman Fada better you change your mind.. I doe saying it doe have but my Broda 90 percent of woman DA all they behind is money ..party sewo .. and to co Kay on your head my broda.. just a few that maybe good.. marge alone.. them DA woman before they looking a little thick they cutting a jayyy vary and them woman doe working nowhere they broke like what.. just look how them ting dressing ..u goin love them woman ther Fada? Boss man Travel see if u get a whitey .. them gyals there doe worth it gassa

  14. Maybe
    June 7, 2019

    Go country and look for one she will not no you

  15. televangelists are false prophets
    June 7, 2019

    Say a prayer, close your eyes, she will be in your dreams.

  16. Royei
    June 7, 2019

    U see girls or nowadays (not all) are just there for what people have.
    Idk if u rushed into it but things take time so just take ur time exploring ur options and getting to know them better for who they are.
    And also idk if you got low self-esteem but if so remember don’t pour out all ur love on them remember to love ur self first and care for ur self first.
    There is someone for everyone it may not come as quickly as we may want it to but it’s there around the Conner.
    Just stay strong and u know it’s not just the looks of the women eh it’s what’s inside that fully counts. :-):-):-):-)

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