DEAR BELLA: I’m in a relationship that drives me crazy

Dear Bella,

I am in a relationship that drives me crazy and even sometimes makes me think of taking my life.

I am 24 and in a relationship with a 19-year-old. I have been in some relationships and got treated like trash but still decided to try again.

I have been cheated on, used for financial benefits and the list goes on. I have no one I could talk to about this so that’s why am writing you.

I do my best to make my girl happy I would get paid and give her like 95% of my income.

I would be there for her and show her that I love her. I would sit and talk with her about my past and the neglect I face as a child and right now we are having issues, she’s dumping it all in my face.

Bella, my soul is crying as am writing this. I moved in with her recently now I have nowhere to go. It’s frustrating.

She even went as far as telling me that I should die while I am at work and am a motherless and fatherless child.

I am outside under a shed avoiding her and I could hear her telling her mother all sorts of things about me and they are just laughing like it’s a joke.

Am feeling so used and the pain is just unbearable.

Sometimes, I tell myself that I should have just played her and all the others who caused me pain.

I wish I knew what I did wrong to be going through such things.






Dear Broken,

Your letter touched me to the core and sometimes we don’t have to do anything wrong to go through such things.

But when we realize people are using us, we have to wise up and run as far away from them as possible.

If somebody loves you, they won’t wish that you die on a job that is obviously taking care of their needs.

Why do you think you need to give her 95% of your pay anyway? You have to realize that giving somebody money won’t cause them to love you.

My advice to you is to begin to look at things differently. Based on the way you wrote your letter, I sense you aren’t a fool. You are wise.

The first thing you need to do is move out of this 19-year-old girl’s home. Furthermore, she’s living with her mother.

If there’s a relative, friend or even co-worker who can take you in until you can save up some money to get your own place – rented or even with a roommate – then begin to make plans to let them know your situation.

Being an orphan is not easy but take courage because the eyes of the Lord are on people like you.

Let us know how things go.



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  1. Joe Brown
    January 28, 2019

    Simple solution, move out, it may take some time save up your money get a place and when you do just pack up and leave.

    January 15, 2019

    Some women you should stay away from at all costs, others you can hook up with then move on and never see them again, others you can have as a girlfriend if they respect you and not a wife and then there will be the one that is right for marriage if you find her. you’re attaching yourself to the wrong one’s for the wrong reasons. the people that have the nastiest things to say are usually the ones who are most empty inside. even though you did not have good parents you are already a loving person, yet the woman that you’re with even though she has parents she is devoid of love, empty, soulless. my advice is to stop talking to her, stop listening to her, stop acknowledging her and stay away from her… most importantly stop giving her your hard earned money put it in the bank, always keep your finances to yourself, nobody needs to know how much you make or when you get paid. Free yourself, join a church to be around positivity, cleanse the negativity from your home environment.

  3. Sans Cobinee
    December 19, 2018

    Allu like them young girls buh zor pa realize zor ni pou ba yo cou… Beat them they too salope. ALL them young girls in Dominica does do is take big man and eat money.. Beat that wavet boy… 3 big tomp and tifi ca la paka jamais fait ca acor an boday.

  4. Shabin
    December 19, 2018

    First of all, all you not seeing de man need guidance, de man had no father no mother to tel him how to look out for de hood rats, he need a true friend and it looking like he yet to find one. When you just enter a relationship your love ones always sweet first so i dont blam him for falling into them kind of relationship. My boy look de steps. 1 start to hide some money for you to get stuff, while you there, still find out where you can stay for de time as soon as you get a spot, go by muslem not courts na courts to hot, go buy a table top stove for 1 something, then go by de chines check shine union or de one opposit to FCIB get them cheap cup and plates and forks, buy a boom box for your radio, buy cloth by dupiny for your bed sheets buy a pill by de chines for 20 something dollars, buy foam for your bed still by astaphans, forget Tv remember you have your phone, put internet and buy a tablet by CIB by lime dere, de fridge check muslem. start to talk to more than one woman, the end.

    • February
      February 6, 2019

      Lol you made my day. Good advised. I need a friend like you my bruhha. Lol thanks for the laugh ( the way you stated those advised.)

  5. free
    December 18, 2018

    Get out just get out, you are working u can find a place. Park your stuff and go there must be a friend who will help you. Take care of yourself first. Giveng her all that money is stupid, stop it

  6. fummny
    December 18, 2018

    Wait a Min. You are a 24 yr old with a 19 yr old, and you thinking of killing yourself? Really. whos playing who there….

  7. December 17, 2018

    Wish there was a way i could give you my info my heart bleeds for you. Just pray to the most high. Most people here have not understand you are calling for help. I have a son whom me and my family has raise very well and to know a woman would treat him this way would kill me.

  8. As if
    December 17, 2018

    Grow a pair and find your backbone.

    Stop making people suck you dry and stress you out. It seems you have a tendency to pick these kind of women, you seem to be vulnerable and they feast on that. Money cannot buy happiness and it certainly cannot buy love. What would possess you to give someone 95% of your salary. The girl is gold digging trash; the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, her mother must have taught her since she there laughing.

    Disappear on them. Start looking for your own place, explain to your boss the situation, if you need to ask your boss for an advance, to pay for it, fine, cuz it seems you’ve given the gold digger all your money, SAVE YOUR MONEY. Get someone to go with you, in case you need a witness, cuz you never know.

    You need to speak to a counselor.

  9. Real gully side
    December 17, 2018

    Bruh you need to approach all your relationships in life the same way you would approach a business. When relationships end u decide whether you made a profit or a loss. Then u move on to ur next business venture. U will never get hurt that way. Always see ur relationships as a Balance Sheet with pluses and minuses. This is how u love yourself

  10. Maybe
    December 17, 2018

    Boss dump that woman all she do is use you your are not married run go to church pray God will girl you a better one

  11. Paul
    December 17, 2018

    My bro dump that marge ting boss… do like me dus bord mamzel and doe give them woman there nothing. .. doe waste your time on dem D.A girls boss.. it doe worth it my boi… all them woman ther want is money and ride … they like to use man… so they be… my boi doe love them things there…. all they want is sewo…lazy women with no ambition

  12. Smh
    December 17, 2018

    Young man…get up and LEAVE. Any woman who is willing to take 95% of your paycheck form you, without saying “no babe, save the money for difficult times.” Or maybe on the off chance she is better at the financies than you so see is taking it to save for you..but any woman who is taking from you like that doesn’t have your best interest at heart. You are only 24 years, no need to be in no serious relationship, especially one that will suck you dry. Go and spread your wings, experience life…garcon LIVE. At 24 you still have a lot more learning and growing to do for yourself. Get up and go! I can see how your earlier years would make you doubt your self worth but she isn’t better than you. She isn’t God’s gift to you. Some people are suppose to come into your life to teach you a lesson and after the lesson has been taught they are suppose to leave…let this be that kind of relationship. Leave the woman…you’ll be better off alone than with the old creature of a girlfriend!

  13. Awa wi Zammi
    December 17, 2018

    Boy go give your life to the lord Jesus Christ. Pray for yourself and those that did you wrong… seek the Lord…

  14. Hello
    December 17, 2018

    So sad to hear this kind of stuff. This person obviously sees the problem, but not the solution. Solution is simple. Wish her the best in life, and move on with yours. There are other people in the world, and some of them are wonderful , and one of them is waiting to be wonderful to someone like you.
    Sidenote: why is it that here things shared in confidence today between al, becomes mapwi tomorrow?

  15. Frank N Stein
    December 17, 2018

    Well well. First of all stop giving people money to love you. Second of all why you grown men like to mess with children? 19yr old should not be in such a relationship let her grow. Obviously she is not mature for you, find your age or older but leave children alone you will only get hurt. I realize that these days teenagers are not looking for love but money and I don’t blame them because adult men have been using them for sex to feel young so they are in revenge mode even before they get hurt. Big men look for big women and leave little girls alone. These letters are all similar grown man looking for younger woman and expect because he giving her money she should love him back. Game over, move on! LEt KArma get her if she did you wrong but look for your comrade.

    • diva
      December 17, 2018

      Omg the young man is only 24 years of age!! Yall people really dumb out there. smfh

      • Frank N Stein
        December 17, 2018

        Rubbish talk like that is the reason why young people are so clueless. At 24 he is still a child? At what age are people really going to grow up and have common sense? He needs to break that trend of looking at younger girls asap, stop that status quo we have trending. God is telling him something hope he listens.

  16. zandoli
    December 17, 2018

    Looks to me that these women only see this guy as an ATM with huge dollar bills written all over his forehead. He should ask himself why is he being treated that way by so many women? What does he have to offer than besides his pay cheque? I get the feeling he does not have a whole lot going for him.

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