DEAR BELLA: I’m pregnant and falling in love with another man

Dear BellaDear Bella,

I have a problem and I would like your opinion.

I am married and on my third pregnancy, however, I am falling in love with a man that is not my husband.

Here is the problem. As you know pregnant women go through many emotions and this guy seems to understand me whenever I go through my mood swings.

I have to say I have a good husband, however, we are away at work all the time, hence I spend more time with this other guy at work (he is my coworker). So whatever mood I am in, this guy seems to be there at all time and he seems to understand.

Because of that, I keep thinking of this guy, even when I am with my husband. To tell you the truth Bella, I even fantasize us making love and things like that.

I haven’t spoken to my coworker nor my husband about this but I am really confused. I really don’t know what to do and it is getting worst every day.

I need your opinion.

Pregnant and confused

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Dear Pregnant and Confused

Pregnant women go through all kinds of emotional changes and one of them is the need for comfort from their partners.

This is your third pregnancy and clearly, you survived the first two with your husband. I think you will survive this one without complicating your marriage.

Have you spoken to your husband about your emotional needs? Your loyalty is to your husband. You don’t need to let your coworker know about your fantasies lest he takes advantage of the situation.

For all you know he probably just thinks of you as a pregnant woman who needs a friend. Don’t upset your marriage or give place to any disturbances in your family.

You claim that you have a good husband. I hope he’s good enough to prevent you from making a big mistake.

Best
Bella

Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at news@dominicanewsonline.com. Dear Bella is published every Wednesday. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.

 

Disclaimer: The comments on this page do not necessarily reflect the views of DominicaNewsOnline.com/Duravision Inc. All comments are approved by DominicaNewsOnline.com before they are posted. We never censor based on political or ideological points of view, but we do try to maintain a sensible balance between free speech and responsible moderating.

We will delete comments that:

  • violate or infringe the rights of any person, are defamatory or harassing or include personal attacks
  • are abusive, profane or offensive
  • contain material which violates or encourages others to violate any applicable law
  • promote hatred of any kind
  • refer to people arrested or charged with a crime as though they had been found guilty
  • contain links to "chain letters", pornographic or obscene movies or graphic images
  • are excessively long and off-message

See our full comment/user policy/agreement.

30 Comments

  1. YOLO
    May 24, 2017

    Girl dough worry with nobody….if I know woman and I know them..you already done let the man in ur work know you want him to give you the \”SPACE JAM\” aka making space for another man.

    my advice to you is go for it \”YOLO\” it could be the best you ever test.. everybody that telling you don\’t do it is should accept this \”L\” (LOSERS) tell the Rev. they self doing it.

    Girl way i see it you will be married for the rest of your life..what is just one night of Space Jamming.
    You already cheat on your husband emotionally by thinking and fantasizing about anotherer man making love to you.

    YOUR HEART ALREADY CHEAT….that same heart going to pump that cheating blood everytime you reach work..smh..That is no way to leave..

    Nobody says divorce but your body is calling for something and clearly you not getting at home. so maybe it\’s time to share that VaJayJay wit that dude at work..

    cuz he probably waiting to hit that and as we all know its way better when…

  2. Sci-Fi
    May 18, 2017

    Lady, do not discuss this with your husband or co-worker ! No use jeopardizing your marriage and not really prudent informing your co-worker of what may simply be results of all the hormones raging through and ravaging your body and mind. Your co-worker must just be empathizing and not looking to pick up a married pregnant mother of 2. You are married and carrying your third pregnancy which may somehow have made you feel a bit trapped or questioning your life decisions, especially if you feel that you may not have self-actualized and you may see your co-worker as an escape and romanticizing the attention he gives. Just talk to your husband about spending more time together and enjoying the development of this new life which you two created and strengthen your bond.

  3. mary waner
    May 18, 2017

    Its just your pregnancy hormones that’s playing u.My first pregnancy i dislikes my husband but didn’t see other men its just hormones don’t be fooled.

  4. UDOHREADYET
    May 17, 2017

    its easy to be nice and understanding to people you don’t live with nor are committed to or sleep in the same bed with every night.
    your co-worker knows your problems and mood swings are not his problem because it not his child nor is he married to you nor does he have to hear your issues after work.
    He’s being a decent human being by being understanding… some men are mature enough to have social relationships with women whom they see and respect as people not sex objects.
    what you do in your marriage is entirely your business because you will be the one to pay the price…

  5. Troblesome
    May 17, 2017

    That’s a attention seeker right there. Our lil Dominica isn’t that little anymore. Bella hope you can help some of this sick people (women) seeing men hardly consult you on any matters.

  6. mine
    May 17, 2017

    Who knows mybe the coworker might be the baby daddy. Why he would be so concern of your mood swings of a pregnant woman.

    • mine
      May 17, 2017

      Why some women can’t behave themselves, you all are really making things bad for others.

  7. Locs Girl
    May 17, 2017

    Excellent advice Bella. Fanm, wèsté twantjil!

  8. Amarossa
    May 17, 2017

    Baby girl you falling for your ‘work husband’? Not cool.

    Understand that pregnancy causes women’s emotions to be all over the place. You need to take a deep breath and re-focus on your husband and your baby.

  9. jerry m james
    May 17, 2017

    I don’t even believe this post Appears to be some platform seeking> Makes no sense

  10. King
    May 17, 2017

    you have no shame or conscience, would you like your husband to do the same to you by falling in love with other women? So many women out there wish they had a good boyfriend much less for a good husband. That is exactly the reason why women say men are dogs ? these are the same women. Grow up and you need Jesus!

    • Shameless
      May 17, 2017

      Relax please don’t get your panties in a knot over someone else feelings even when u disagree :mrgreen: .

      Assertive like the rod of Moses!?

    • The Darkness
      May 17, 2017

      The dogs are created by instances of b!t###s.

      Everything has its balance… women are better at cheating than men… Men just don’t care…

  11. Shameless
    May 17, 2017

    Hmmmm, I think you just need some tender loving so play yourself. Married , pregnant women need love too 8) . If the coworker is interested in your happiness while you are pregnant and being ignored by hussy then allow him to render the service needed…..yup, grown people make grown decisions according to my papa.

    A*****tive like the rod of Moses! :twisted:

  12. Kermit
    May 17, 2017

    Women more dangerous than men these days.

  13. Bella is absolutely right!

    3,000 years ago King Solomon of ancient Israel wrote *Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life.*

    To paraphrase his words I will say

    *Guard your mind intelligently because from it come the decisions of life.*

    Pregnant women sometimes experience strange cravings like the need to have a dill pickle. These unusual desires have more to do with their body chemistry than rational or intelligent reasoning.

    Pregnant and Confused, whether or not to make play for your co-worker is not an option. You are a married woman. That door is closed. That possibility is not on the table. Please get your Bible and read
    Matthew 19:4-6 and Romans 7:2,3.

    For you to be unfaithful to your husband would hurt you, your husband, your children, your co-worker, his wife if he is married, and his family if he has a family. It may cause harm or hurt in the work place.

    • Continuation:

      What you need is a cleansing of the mind and an inner healing that will only come if you receive Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. The Bible says *… as many as receive him, to them gave he power to become the children of God, even to them that believe on his name.* (St. John 1:12) *And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. and he that hath the Son hath life;
      and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life.* (1 John 5:11,12

      How do we receive (take) Christ to be our Savior :?: It happens the moment we BELIEVE that His death on the cross paid the penalty for our sins, and washes our sins away. BELIEVE the word of God that says *… …
      the blood of Jesus Christ (God*s Son) cleanseth us from all sin.* (1 John 1:7)

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill, D.D.

      • nonsense
        May 19, 2017

        with all due respect pastor. your words ring very empty. makes me question what spirit it is that you are filled with. The spirit of christ or the spirit of ignorance?.. or maybe i am the ignorant one cause i dont understand what u tried to convey

    • The Darkness
      May 17, 2017

      Great quote!!!

  14. african queen
    May 17, 2017

    chill out lady forget about co worker focus on your baby your husband and your family after all you said it is good,pregnancies hormones at the best,your husband at work providing for you and his family .

  15. Kenisha
    May 17, 2017

    So if the co-worker quits and you don’t see him often, would you find someone else to fall in love with? After all you will no longer be seeing him everyday.

    • There are too many *ifs* and too many things that could go wrong.

      The only way to assure a safe journey is to get on the narrow way that leads to life we read about in Matthew 7:13-14. It is best for you, your husband, and all concerned. Receive Christ as your Savior. Then put a NO VACANCY sign in your window :!:

      Begin reading your Bible. Start attending a lively evangelical church that preaches the way of salvation. If possible take your husband and children with you. Have your children dedicated. You will have a new life.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

    • dee
      May 17, 2017

      Yes is true pregnancy does make woman more sweff .
      but fantasy should remain what it is , a fantasy ,
      now go fancy your husband more OK .

  16. THE SHOAL
    May 17, 2017

    ha ha ha ! the three pregnancies not for her husband. Poor men look blows

    • This is not a laughing matter. You do not know the gravity of the situation so it would be best not to comment.

      What do you know about her three pregnancies :?:

      Besides this you have no empathy.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

      • The Darkness
        May 17, 2017

        And how do you know whether or not the person knows?

        You too are just flapping your gums.

        Also who are you to tell people when to comment or not?

        The only thing you said that i can blindly agree with, is that there is a lack of empathy.

        Your tone comes off as having a superiority complex and i SUGGEST stopping that. its irritating.

  17. d-a born
    May 17, 2017

    Woman you just hormonal. Chill out.

    • The less you have to do with this other man the better. Be polite. Maintain a normal working relationship.
      That is all it is so let it be. No sensible man is going to make a move on you when you are pregnant lest he be thought to be the father and get roped into something.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

      • Concerned
        May 18, 2017

        All I can say Rev, is “Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on us”

Post a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

:) :-D :wink: :( 8-O :lol: :-| :cry: 8) :-? :-P :-x :?: :oops: :twisted: :mrgreen: more »

 characters available