I am in a relationship with someone I love. It’s been a year and nine months since we’ve been together but I keep asking myself if he loves and cares about me the way I do for him.
It started off perfectly. Too good to be true I thought to myself.
He’d always be available to me when I needed him, he made time and effort to ensure we had time together, he’d always ask if I’ve eaten an ensure I did. He cooked, always called as the day goes by even if he’s busy or not, a day couldn’t have gone by and I wouldn’t have heard from him.
We went out now and then but spent most of the time or just being at home watching movies and just enjoying each other’s company..
At that point I was happy with him, we both were. But as I said it was too good to be true. Little did I know he had interference with women I knew (they knew we were together) and he always kept on denying it.
I like honesty, why is it so hard for men to admit their wrongs or just be honest? It sure would save useless drama and unnecessary arguments. As clear as the signs of him cheating were, he never accepted his wrongs but rather got angry every time I spoke of the issue or said that I’m crazy and I’m just saying what I want.
He can be sneaking out and being with women but if I do go out, he’d keep calling or questioning my every move as to where exactly I’m going or who I’m with and what time I’ll be back and so on.
If he doesn’t get me instantly he gets angry and starts making accusations that I’m with other men. Sometimes he’d come just to see where I am and with who and according to how the area is, he’d ensure I went home with him.
I then moved to another county leaving him here, we didn’t break up. We were communicating well but there were still doubts as to us being distant and not knowing where each other is and what is happening. I was always honest and straight with him.
He then went back to his country when I was away and due to reasons beyond my control I came back home. He’s still in his place he has a little child there he claims he and his child mother isn’t together but when they’re there with him (at his place) most of the time he hardly pays attention to me barely message not even a call for days, If I do call he ignores it once he’s at home. Most of his calls are from work or out with his friends.
His excuses are “I does be extra busy” or “when I get home from work I does be tired so I go to sleep early”, “I don’t have time to always be on my phone “.
And the excuses go on until this day, he accuses me of interference with other men when I’ve remained faithful for the past nine months, we aren’t together.
Bella, this now is very frustrating trying to keep up on something that doesn’t seem like it’s worth it anymore. Because you don’t ignore someone or keep on lying to someone you claim to love. You don’t try to do right and expect me to just be there accepting everything you do.
It’s just not fair and completely selfish. What are your thoughts?.
I think you hit the nail directly on its head when you said “you don’t ignore someone or keep on lying to someone you claim to love”.
Young lady, (I am assuming here), please free yourself from this bondage.
You are stifling your freedom for someone who obviously isn’t ready to be entirely yours.
The relationship has never been solid, based on what you mentioned. He was cheating.
Furthermore, he becomes suspicious when you go out. Listen and listen well. A person’s mindset of you is their reality.
Whenever he is away from you, he knows what he was up to. And so, he expects you to be doing the same.
Don’t continue to keep yourself and your life under lockdown anymore. The Coronavirus lockdown is enough.
Now it’s time to liberate yourself from this mental captivity. You have remained faithful enough.
Faithfulness is a two-way street, just like love. And so, if you’re not getting what you’re giving, then it’s time to move on.